- So far in August, SoriaNO hasn’t actually exercised his 10-and-5 rights. When approached yesterday by our good friend PAUL SULLIVAN and asked if he would consider a trade to the Giants in the wake of the Melky Cabrera suspension, SoriaNO said he didn’t like playing in San Francisco because of the weather. That may be hilariously misguided, but it’s not him rejecting the trade. In fact, he didn’t flat-out say “no” that he wouldn’t go to the West Coast. He said he’d talk to his family and see what they said, because ultimately the decision would be up to them. SoriaNO is having a good year, he’s expecting some trade rumors, and he’s preparing an answer to those rumors for his team in advance so he doesn’t leave them twisting in the wind. WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT. Yes, SoriaNO rejected an earlier trade to the Giants. But then turned right back into Good Guy Soriano by accepting a package deal to the Dodgers which would have gotten TrollDempster out of town.
- SoriaNO hasn’t tried to set himself up as a Chicago icon. When is the last time SoriaNO shoved his annoying face in front of a microphone like this? Try to read this sentence in SoriaNO’s voice, and then try to read it in TrollDempster’s. I bet the former is difficult, and the latter is simple. SoriaNO, not unlike Aramis Ramirez, never tried to make friends in Chicago. Yes, he has said he enjoys playing in Chicago, but he’s not all “Cubbie” this and “F*ck the Goat” that. He’s playing for a paycheck, not for your adoration, and I respect that. So, no, SoriaNO’s attitude toward the city and the team shouldn’t have led anyone to believe that he “owed” the Cubs something.
- 2007 and 2008. In case you don’t remember, Chuck, SoriaNO was pretty damn instrumental in hitting the Cubs into the 2007 and 2008 playoffs. Dempster sucked ass as a closer in 2007 so, as is the Cub Way, he got promoted to the starting rotation. Yes, both TrollDempster and SoriaNO spit the bit in the postseason both times, but SEVEN GODDAMN WALKS IN GAME ONE.
- Fans are dicks. SoriaNO has taken an absolute beating in Chicago from idiot sportswriters, idiot broadcasters, and idiot fans. His hitting has been booed mercilessly, even though he’s been good more often than he’s been bad. His defense has been slammed, even though he had a hose arm in 2007 that earned him 19 assists. And, oh, by the way, he hasn’t made an error this year, even though his knees are now made mostly of sandpaper. But he gets booed for not sprinting to first base on an infield fly because Bob Brenly wasn’t a good enough player to have the cred to not waste his legs on such nonsense. By all accounts, SoriaNO is a great clubhouse guy, and he took Starlin Castro under his wing when the young lad first came up. Yes, it’s annoying when SoriaNO turns the occasional double into a single. But that doesn’t happen anywhere near as often as you think it does, Dave Kaplan.
- He didn’t make a list. Last, and most importantly. SoriaNO didn’t give the Cubs a list of teams to which he would accept a trade. TrollDempster did. Then, the Theocracy arranged a trade to one of those listed teams. Then, TrollDempster pocket vetoed that trade, wasting everyone’s time and costing the Cubs a damn good young pitcher. Oh, and then he whined about his privacy for two weeks.
In conclusion, do what you want SoriaNO, and you’ll be safe from memes from this site, at least.