Happy Independence Day week, Americans. And happy first week of July, everyone else. I hope the beer was cold, the explosions were hot, and your voting rights remained intact.

Your tips are as appreciated as taxation with representation.

• On the weekend before the All-Star Break, The Onion takes a look at some of the strengths and weaknesses of Uncle Bud.
• In this battle of colossal dickhead managers, NO ONE WINS. I don’t feel like Dusty has much standing to point out stupid All-Star selections, considering he picked Wendell fucking Kim as his third-base coach in the 2003 All-Star Game.
• I’m sure the new Bill Simmons book isn’t far from anything he’s actually written.
• A 32-year-old man talks to his 12-year-old self and doesn’t destroy time and space. (little bit of NSFW language)
• It’s never a bad time to watch old film of Dick Butkus murdering dudes. (HT: St. Patrick)
  
• In case you have no idea why the Higgs boson discovery is important, here is some further confusion for you.
• NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: You know that nightmare where you wake up the last day of the semester and realize you haven’t studied for the final? What if the final was twenty-three hours long?
• YOUR AWESOME OLD CLIPS OF THE WEEK: Happy belated birthday to Larry David.