In a sad week of news for former catchers named Gary, it’s only appropriate that Waukegan native Gary Bennett make his presence felt on HJE. Bennett spent his entire thirteen-year career as a backup catcher. He never played 100 games in a single season, and he played in only 587 MLB games. But that was plenty for the Waukegan Kid (I just made that up!) to cement his legacy as the 6th-biggest Cub Killer of My Time.

Gary Bennett’s Journey of a Thousand Major League Transactions began on June 4, 1990. The Philadelphia Phillies took the catching sensation of the Waukegan Bulldogs in the 11th round of the amateur draft. The 18-year-old pride of Waukegan East was assigned to the rookie-league Martinsville Phillies, where he was teammates with the slightly-more-successful catcher Mike Lieberthal.

After a couple of years of watching Bennett not hit in rookie ball, the Phillies promoted him to low-A ball. Then A-ball. Then high-A ball. Then AA. Then AAA. Bennett showed his amazing consistency by hitting terribly at all levels.

Bennett was a September call-up in 1995 and “earned” his first Major League appearance on September 24, 1995. The first-place Cincinnati Reds were in Veterans Stadium, and Bennett got a 6th-inning pinch-hit appearance with the Phillies trailing David Wells (holy shit, I forgot he was a Red) 5-0. Bennett struck out looking in his only at-bat of the 1995 season. If his MLB career had ended right there, he would have been like the bad version of Moonlight Graham. And he wouldn’t have gone on to torment the Cubs over the next decade.

As it was, Bennett got a handful of at-bats in the 1996 season, and a couple of them came against the Cubs. On September 8, 1996, the Cubs sent Jaime Navarro to the mound against the Phillies at Veterans Stadium. Bennett started behind the plate and went 0-2 with 2 strikeouts and a walk before being pulled for a pinch hitter. Unfortunately for the Cubs, it wouldn’t be the last time they faced the Waukegan Whammer.

After giving him just 19 MLB at-bats, the Phillies granted Bennett his free agency. He signed with the Boston Red Sox prior to the 1997 season, but didn’t see Major League action that year, so the Phillies brought him back for the 1998 season. He appeared in 9 games that season, 36 in 1999, and 31 in 2000. At the 2001 trade deadline, after parts of 6 seasons with the Phillies, Bennett was traded to the New York Mets for fellow catcher Todd Pratt.

Bennett got just one plate appearance in New York, but he got a base knock! The Mets sold his 2.000 OPS high, trading him to the Colorado Rockies exactly one month after acquiring him. The Rockies sent Ender Chavez back to the Mets. Yes, ENDER Chavez. He’s a different person than Endy Chavez. Don’t be racist.

Bennett finally found himself a starting position in 2002 with Colorado. He played 90 games and hit .265/.314/.354 with 4 home runs and 26 RBIs. The Rockies didn’t bring him back, though, so he signed with the San Diego Padres for the 2003 season and for his first in a series of one-year contracts. From Baseball-Reference.com:

December 23, 2002: Signed as a Free Agent with the San Diego Padres.
September 30, 2003: Granted Free Agency.
December 22, 2003: Signed as a Free Agent with the Milwaukee Brewers.
October 14, 2004: Granted Free Agency.
November 29, 2004: Signed as a Free Agent with the Washington Nationals.
October 28, 2005: Granted Free Agency.
December 2, 2005: Signed as a Free Agent with the St. Louis Cardinals.
October 31, 2006: Granted Free Agency.
November 28, 2006: Signed as a Free Agent with the St. Louis Cardinals.
October 29, 2007: Granted Free Agency.
December 17, 2007: Signed as a Free Agent with the Los Angeles Dodgers.
November 5, 2008: Granted Free Agency.

Suffice it to say that Gary Bennett got around more than a promiscuous person who enjoys sex with multiple anonymous partners. Throughout his journeyman career, Bennett hit .241/.302/.328 with 22 home runs, 192 RBIs, 74 doubles, and even 3 triples. His numbers are eerily Bako-esque, and they tell me that I should have figured out how to throw with my right hand and made a go of it as a backup catcher in the Major Leagues. I MAKE BAD LIFE CHOICES.

Another bad life choice (I’ve done stand-up; I know my way around an AMAZING transition) was the Cubs ever pitching to Gary Bennett. In 105 plate appearances against the Cubs, Bennett compiled a slash line good enough for (GASP) a starting catcher. He hit .286/.365/.451 against Cub pitching with 3 home runs and 12 RBIs. I blame Bennett’s best year against the Cubs on Juan Pierre. In 2006, Bennett hit .520/.586/.960 and collected all 3 of his homers and 9 of his 12 RBIs against them. Five of the 13 hits Bennett had against the Cubs went for extra bases that season, and he drew twice as many walks (4) as strikeouts.

To put Bennett’s numbers against the Cubs in perspective, here is where they rank in comparison with every other team against whom he has at least 50 plate appearances:

BB (1)
BA (2)
OBP (2)
SLG (1)
OPS (1)
HR (2)

Gary Bennett went through Cub pitchers like he went through contract-signin’ ink.

Why You Should Hate Him: In late August of 2006, the Cubs trekked down I-55 to face the eventual World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. Though starter Juan Mateo pitched well, the Cubs got blanked 2-0 in the first game by Jeff Suppan. The second game featured a lineup that shockingly didn’t make Aramis Ramirez drink a bunch of paint thinner. Here are the other 7 position players in that lineup:

Juan Pierre
Freddie Bynum
Michael Barrett
Jacque Jones
Phil Nevin
Matt Murton
Ronny Cedeno

WE’RE SO SORRY, ARAMIS! PLEASE COME BACK! The cardinals scored a run early off Cubs starter Rich Hill, but Phil Nevin homered off of Cardinal starter Chris Carpenter in the 8th to tie the game. Dusty Baker went to Roberto Novoa to preserve the lead. Bad move. Novoa sandwiched two outs around a Preston Wilson base hit and steal. Bennett stepped to the plate and smacked a 2-1 single into center field to give the Cardinals a walkoff win.

The next day, Dusty, who clearly didn’t give a shit about his job at this point, sent Les Walrond to the mound. Yes, against the Cubs’ biggest rival in their own house in late August, Dusty trotted out a rotation of Juan Mateo, Rich Hill, and Les Walrond. And, hilariously, TWO OF THEM PITCHED WELL ENOUGH TO WIN. Walrond was not one of those two. He gave up 6 runs (5 earned) in just 2 2/3 innings before turning the game over to the highly-touted 2006 Cub bullpen. Ironically, David Aardsma, Michael Wuertz, Roberto Novoa, and Will Ohman held the Cardinals in check for the next 5 1/3 innings.

And then…BOB HOWRY!

In the bottom of the 9th, with the game tied 6-6 Howry got a pair of groundouts, but not before loading the bases with 2 singles and a walk. With the bases loaded and 2 outs, Bennett came to the plate. He served the second pitch he saw from Howry into the seats for his second walkoff hit in two days, this one a grand slam. And somewhere, an idiot ran onto a field in agony.

Did You Know? Bennett was voted Class Least-Likely to be Named in the Mitchell Report, but he WAS, and he even confessed his transgression just so he would look cool and get to third base with the captain of the pom squad.