Congratulations, Big Boy


I hope he meant it when he said his jersey retirement was HIS Hall of Fame.

As if people weren’t already aware that Hall of Fame voting is the stupidest, most arbitrarily biased, most narcissistic exercise in all of sports, Ron Santo was finally voted into the Hall of Fame this week, one year after it means anything. If you believe in an afterlife, I guess you can appreciate that Santo is clicking his heels together with two fleshy legs and a full, natural head of hair. If you don’t, you are probably telling the Baseball Writers Association of America and the Veterans Committee to go fuck themselves. And you are utterly justified in doing so.

Whatever your opinion was of Santo as a person and a broadcaster, his exclusion from the Hall of Fame could have been driven by nothing more than spite. Because everyone knows the Hall of Fame should only allow in likable players, like Babe Ruth, Cap Anson, and Ty Cobb! Santo has deserved a plaque in Cooperstown for thirty years. I hope the hateful morons who deprived Santo of delivering what I can only imagine would have been a joyous acceptance speech are happy that no one will ever get to hear it.

Congratulations to the Santo family. I’m so sorry that Ron isn’t around to see this.


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