The only reason to watch the Cubs for the remainder of the season is to watch Starlin Castro hopefully erase Juan Pierre from any bit of Cub trivia. Before the end of the season, when anyone asks you, “Hey, who was the last Cub to collect 200 hits in a season?” you will no longer have to answer, “Juan Pierre.” Instead, you can say, “I’ll have to consult with my statistician, Ed Hartig.”
So, that’s…something? Oh, also Moneyball is out today, and it’s getting overwhelmingly positive reviews. It’s even getting *GASP* Oscar buzz. Joe Morgan hasn’t seen it, but he’s already declared that it sucks.
Your tips are as appreciated as Starlin Castro’s next six hits. I ran short on time for this week’s Roundup, so I’m saving some of your tips for next week. That also explains the length. Which I’m sure some of you have said at least once in your life.
- John Sterling’s baseball calls throughout history. Ouch.
- I love Kerry Wood, but is he fucking retarded?
- Netflix is sort of dumb now.
- Old things are weird.
- Mr. Destructo takes the Emmys to task.
- A ridiculous Star Wars video trifecta.
- Once again, everything you learned was a huge waste of your time.
- I don’t know much about hockey, but this doesn’t seem like a reasonable video game facsimile. (HT: Swaz46)
- I’ve got 99 Rooms, but a bitch ain’t one.
- Well, hello, Shelley Duvall.
- FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Barely Feral is SFW porn.
- YOUR AWESOME OLD MOVIE CLIP OF THE WEEK: What about improving all of your old movies with Tom Selleck’s mustache?
It’s nice to have the regular Thursday night sitcom lineups back, but I stand behind my assertion that Ken Jeong and Danny DeVito will be the death of Community and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, respectively. They are comedy cancer. James Spader, on the other hand, could lessen the blow of Steve Carrell’s departure from The Office. Even though Pam is still terrible.