Ryan Dempster Sucks at Making T-Shirts, Too 3

Oh, just say "fuck."

Our good friend PAUL SULLIVAN reported yesterday that the Cubs were wearing “F**K THE GOAT!!!” t-shirts to warm-ups. And, sure enough, he got picture evidence for us. Sullivan wonders if some fans will be up in arms that the Cubs are screwing around during a losing season. Not me. I’m more annoyed that the Cubs are so lame that they think the shirts are funny.

Take .239-hitting, miraculously-still-on-this-team-for-the-FIFTH-year, backup catcher Koyie Hill. Hill said, “I think it’s just kind of a loose, fun saying that came up, and it was funny as hell, and now we have T-shirts. Basically, that’s all it was. It was an awesome joke. Everyone laughed. And now I have an extra large on.” (emphasis added)

Really? You know the only instance when this shirt would be even remotely funny? If the Cubs were a high school baseball team at a Catholic school, and they wore the shirts to a pep rally in front of their crusty old principal, Sister Karen. And, even then, the “joke” would be more, “Why, I never!” Farrelly Brothers-style shocking than Coen Brothers-style funny.

Moreover, does Mike Quade REALLY expect us to believe that he’s never heard of the Billy Goat Curse? Does he have alopecia or dementia?

Of course, these dopes are undefeated post-shirts, so what do I know?

  • Whatever happened to not acting like “curses” have anything to do with why this team loses? Unless the idea behind “fuck the goat” is “fuck the entire idea of curses,” but that’s thoroughly unclear.

  • I’ve now learned Quade and I both have Alopecia. Learn something every day?

  • Mike D.

    Pretty sure Dempster’s inability to find the plate in every critical situation he’s pitched in since 2004 has had nothing do with bovidae.