It didn’t take long for Mike Quade to start MAKING SOME WAVES! Today, he named Ryan Dempster the Opening Day starter instead of Carlos Zambrano. It’s news because everyone is waiting to see how well Carlos’ anger management classes REALLY worked. Is he putting on a happy face and wishing Dempster luck while just below the surface of his smile, a tangle of venomous snakes are writhing around? Or does he just remember the last time Dempster got a Game One nod over Zambrano, and he’s laughing in anticipation of a seven-walk disaster?

A better question might be, “Why did Mike Quade feel the need to announce this today?” Far be it from me to pay attention to practice, but as far as I know, Spring Training games haven’t even started. The actual regular season is more than a month away. Hell, this year’s versions of the video game baseball franchises haven’t even been released. If I don’t even know yet who is starting on Opening Day of my virtual Cubs franchise, how can Quade know this early? Has any other manager in baseball shot his load this early?

Is this, perhaps, a new marketing campaign suggested by Crane Kenney, a man more vanilla than the 2011 Cubs promise to be?

The 2011 Cubs: YOU KNOW WHO OUR OPENING DAY PITCHER IS ALREADY!