Hire Jim Essian

It's a VERY quiet week this week. Unless, of course, you're Adam Wainwright's shoulder. In that case, you were SCREAMING IN PAIN. With this week's news that Wainwright will be out for the entire 2011 season, is there a possibility that we could actually win the NL Central? Well, no. No, there is not. ... Read More

Okay, this is weird even for a team as weird as the Cubs. From Fox Sports comes the story that, toward the end of Dusty Baker's tenure with the Cubs, someone with access to the Cub dugout was apparently taking shits in Dusty's "standin' spot, dude." The most likely explanation for this story is Dusty that is more full of ... Read More

I'm a former teacher. And, as such, I'm going to give you a brief, in-class assignment. Imagine every single random, bad pitcher around the MLB you can recall in recent years. The Jason Grillis. The D.J. Carrascos. The Carlos Villanueavas. Of all the random middling veteran relievers you've ever seen take the mound, where ... Read More

It didn't take long for Mike Quade to start MAKING SOME WAVES! Today, he named Ryan Dempster the Opening Day starter instead of Carlos Zambrano. It's news because everyone is waiting to see how well Carlos' anger management classes REALLY worked. Is he putting on a happy face and wishing Dempster luck while just below the surface ... Read More

I wish I could some day write a headline as comical as this one. Carlos Silva is about as big a "lock" to start as I am a "lock" to land a Pantene commercial deal. You guys were great on the tips this week, so I'm going to focus on those more than my own. BECAUSE I ... Read More

Though Mike D. was rooting for Dave Otto to replace Ron Santo alongside Pat Hughes in the booth, my hat was in Keith Moreland's corner from the beginning. So...suck it, Mike? Really, though, the Cubs couldn't have gone wrong (shockingly) with either Otto or Moreland. I'm just glad that I don't have to listen to Otto say ... Read More

I'm not going to lie. I just really wanted to do a Staredad. And here it is, if you can't see it. But feel free to revel in the comments that Albert Pujols has not yet signed with the Cardinals. I'm sure The Best Fans in BaseballTM are rending their overalls and Zubaz, and The Genius ... Read More

Good job, Jim. Now, trade him at the deadline. I love Carlos, but closers can fetch a pretty price at the end of July, and I highly doubt the Cubs are going to be in a pennant race at that point. Don't be like those hoarding Royals hanging on to Joakim Soria. ... Read More

Why am I always the one getting left out of the fun? Al Yellon gets an interview with Tom Ricketts, Dolan gets the opportunity to tear to shreds analyze that "interview." And all I get is an untimely interview with Mark Buehrle. Oh, well. Here it is, anyhow. Bad Kermit: Mark Buehrle, starting pitcher for the ... Read More

It's time to shake off this winter and get ready for baseball. The Bears are done. The Hawks suck now. The Bulls are awesome, but you guys aren't paying enough attention to them. And arbitrary dates that give nerdrections to some are almost upon us. Pitchers and catchers report on MONDAY! What does that ... Read More