Hire Jim Essian

Happy New Year, folks. If you're at work on New Year's Eve, the least I can do for you is absolutely nothing. But I'll do slightly better than that and give you a light BROWSing. I hope you already have your resolutions in order. I resolve to read and cherish each and every one of your ... Read More

The Cubs are currently in the process of securing a replacement for the late Ron Santo, and several candidates have emerged. Before I get to nakedly campaigning for good ole� #53, let�s first explore the �other� candidates. Though Pat Hughes� Ford Frick-worthiness for Cooperstown was likely cemented thanks to the visibility he enjoyed mostly setting up Santo for fifteen years, ... Read More

Aren't you all lucky? Due to the holiday, you get your Friday Roundup on THURSDAY. For those unlucky (or lucky) few who are working today, here are a bunch of excuses to not do work. Thank you, as always, for your tips, particularly in this, the most blessed of- Oh, screw that. Have a happy, ... Read More

Of all the obscure former Cubs who were once traded for Kyle Farnsworth and Steve Trachsel, and who you didn't even realize were reacquired by the Cubs, Scott Moore is that specific one. And he's actually the subject of a question in this week's Muskbox. Scott. Moore. I'm stunned the Cubs would spend $10 million on Pena and ... Read More

You're getting a late Fukudome because Rozner's steamer which I fisked below has enraged me. As you are aware, Kerry Wood turned down a two-year deal with the White Sox only to sign a dirt-cheap, one-year deal with the Cubs. Why? Because Kerry Wood is the man you would encourage your girlfriend to sleep with. Ryan Theriot, on ... Read More

If one day Barry Rozner came home to find a beautiful, naked, willing woman lying in his bed, he would yell at her for messing up the sheets. Leave it to Rozner to be the one person in Chicago to write something snarky about Kerry Wood's return. I understand Rozner doesn't write his own headlines, but you just ... Read More

Welcome back officially, Kerry Wood. You won't BELIEVE what happened while you were away. Aramis Ramirez got hurt fifteen times. Alfonso Soriano dropped...EVERYTHING. We still haven't won a playoff game. Milton Bradley. All of the catchers on our roster started "gettin' high," if that's what the kids are still calling it. The Muskbox got WORSE. Ryan Theriot became the new Mark DeRosa. The old Mark ... Read More

The Cubs are apparently close to signing Kerry Wood. I love the guy more than any Cub of the last ten years, and the fact that he scoffed at a two-year White Sox offer earlier this week makes me love him even more. However, I can't help but think of Major League: "I wish we had him five years ago." "We did." "Ten ... Read More

Face facts. You're not doing anything tonight. So you should tune in to the MLB Network at 7:00 CT to watch Game Seven of the 1960 World Series between the Yankees and Pirates. (HT: Pre) I don't want to spoil the ending, but if you hate the Yankees, you MIGHT want to tune in. ... Read More

Just last night, I was discussing the absurdity of the Mark DeRosa love that even the San Francisco Giants had for the scruffy utility dope. I was amazed at how the Giants pretended he was instrumental to their World Series Championship despite the fact that he played only 26 games and had only 93 at-bats with them in 2010. ... Read More