Wellity, wellity, wellity. Look who’s on your little blog now? Uncle Mike has been reading up on this crap, and things are going to be done a little differently around here. It’s serious time around here. I don’t abide horseplay, rolling, polling, hoopla, and whatnot. This feature is now called Uncle Mike’s Weekly BROWS- oh, now I get it, Kermit. Asshole. Your tips are still welcome here. Let’s have at it, pukes.
- What will the Mike Quade Era look like? Gray. Lots of gray.
- My favorite color of brow pencil is Sammy Sosa’s Sour Grape.
- Once you see Jesus’ penis, you can’t unsee it!
- The most ridiculous martial arts movies you’ll ever not see.
- All of Chewbacca’s dialogue from Star Wars.
- Google Street View caught Lou once. Wait until you see what else it caught.
- Congratulations to Matt Stairs for setting the pinch hit home run record of…21? That’s it? Seriously?
- Remember all of those holier-than-thou articles that Jay Mariotti penned that you never read. And then revel in reading this.
- Salvador Dali painted more than just one painting, you know. And some of them will blow your mind.
- Speaking of being less stupid and short-sighted, here are 10 sites that will make you think.
- So it was spoken, and so it shall be done.
- In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible happens. Doo doo doo doodoodoo. Doo doo doo doodoodoo. Doo doo doo doodoodoo. Doo doo!
- I see a REALLY bad moon rising.
- Who is crazier? Claire from Lost, or this guy who watched WAY too much Lost?
- Easy. There’s a second child IN THE TELEVISION.
- There is quite a bit of turnover on MLB teams, even ones that actually win championships.
- The worst do-it-yourself car repairs. (HT: level5)
- If there’s one thing the Cardinals know, it’s not holding their liquor. And having Jack Nicholson eyes. (HT: John and Luis)
- NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: Ghost Spiders!
- FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Fake Science. It’s science that idiots can understand. Because it’s completely wrong.
I’ll save the rest of your tips for a rainy day. Sorry you lost your precious Lou, but let’s not get too teary-eyed. Fridays are still Fridays, meaning you’re already drunk right now, and you’re likely reading this hungover on a Monday morning. And you have a drinking problem. For God’s sake, look at yourself.
-Uncle Mike
First comment. Ha Ha!!
Go to the Jesus wing at the Art Institute. I LOL all the time at all the Jesus dicks. The artists HAD to be doing it on purpose.
The following players have been called into a game and hit a pinch-hit home run during their first ever Major League at-bat:
American League
Ace Parker Philadelphia 04-30-1937 9th Inning
John Kennedy Washington 09-05-1962 6th Inning
Gates Brown Detroit 06-19-1963 5th Inning
Bill Roman Detroit 09-30-1964 7th Inning
Brant Alyea Washington 09-12-1965 6th Inning
Joe Keough Oakland 08-07-1968 8th Inning
Al Woods Toronto 04-07-1977 5th Inning
National League
Eddie Morgan St. Louis 04-14-1936 7th Inning
Les Layton New York 05-21-1948 9th Inning
Ted Tappe Cincinnati 09-14-1950 8th Inning
Chuck Tanner Milwaukee 04-12-1955 8th Inning
Marlon Anderson Philadelphia 09-08-1998 7th Inning
Gene Stechschulte St. Louis 04-17-2001 6th Inning
John Hester Arizona 08-28-2009 6th Inning
The really odd one is John Kennedy Washington 09-05-1962 6th Inning
They called the President out of the White House to pinch hit in the 6th inning?? You’d think they would wait until it was a crisis, like the bottom of the 10th.