Okay, so it’s more like “Today at 1:20…” but the message is still the same. Derrek Lee is no longer a Cub, but, hey, at least John Grabow is out for the season. Remember him? Remember how he pitched for a while there? Sure you do. Not a whole lot of tips to be had this week, and I can hardly blame you. It’s hard enough just watching this team. Who has time to also watch hilariously adorable videos of cats getting tickled? Well, if you have tips for next week, send them here. I’ll give them a good home.

• I guess he got cut from Mr. Burns’ softball team.
• Hey, being right 80% of the time isn’t so bad. It’s terrible.
• Guess which big-market fans should feel the most depressed?
• The Year’s Work in Lebowski Studies abides.
• Rejoice, dorks! It’s the periodic table of video game controllers.
• I understand your life. ONLY TOO WELL. Sniff.
• Why immortality would suck. And NOT just because you’ll still be around for thousand and thousands and thousands more losing seasons.
• Rest in peace, strangely-spelled Robby Thomson.
• Siskel and Ebert review some of the worst movies ever.
• John Cleese could care less about one of my biggest pet peeves.
  
• I like this chart, but disagree with the Indiana Jones section. Last Crusade was far better than Temple of Doom. Once again, George Lucas is given too much power. And the third Die Hard was better than the second one. Oh, and ALL the Matrix movies were stupid. Deal with it, dorks.
• Check out this documentary about the guy who apparently did every single movie poster ever.
• The 30 worst baseball cards of all time. (HT: Pre) I still think Jay Johnstone’s is awesome, and I know Mike Armstrong’s is.
• Hot chicks get all the best parking spots and internet hoaxes. I count at least two that were previously featured in the Roundup.
• Shouldn’t a Back to the Future timeline have at least ONE loop in it?
• Aw, man, I wish I were Rad Bradbury. (NSFW language and tremendous cleavage)
  
• I’m surprised this guy didn’t post the footage of him shitting in his wetsuit.
• You’ve probably been using “i.e.” wrong, i.e. incorrectly.
• Donald! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
• Van Halen and David Lee Roth! Together again! Make your own “Running with the Devil” joke. (HT: John)
• TWEET OF THE WEEK: Our GOOD FRIEND Paul Sullivan couldn’t believe the ridiculous play yesterday when Will Venable basically “stole” home. I wasn’t even watching.
• NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: The seven most horrifying museums in existence.
• BONUS NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: I guarantee this guy has experimented with sewing an infant to a puppy.
  
• FEED READ OF THE WEEK: You slaves stuck at your desks right now might appreciate Unsuck It.

That’s all for me, folks. Enjoy watching Derrek Lee hit four home runs against us this weekend. THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!

-Sweet Uncle Lou