Well, here we are. Forty-seven games left. Each one of them more depressing than the last. Why do we go on? For the potential glory of finishing in fourth place with the highest payroll in one of the worst divisions in the National League. THAT’S WHY! Your Roundup tips are like vodka at a family party. Let us round.

• Speaking of family parties, here is a chart that will help you figure out how creepy it was that you made out with your “cousin” last Thanksgiving.
• Moar explanashun of Rickroll, plz.
• I thought beers LED to orgies.
• If only the “plot” of Anchorman could have been solved in minutes.
• Sketch Swap will connect you to other budding artists, and likely ruin your production today.
• That sweaty fat kid in your high school band tubas the shit out of some common themes.
• This guy is the worst boyfriend ever. And then he let a baseball hit his girlfriend.
• It’s funny because they didn’t use us as the punchline. Yet.
• I have an affinity for large buttocks and an inability to conceal this fact from others.
• He should have just sentenced him to be Seinfeld’s butler.
• Speaking of buttocks, the science of the booty call.
• Rebel Without a…Clue?
• Sometimes even the non-crazy people are weirded out by UFOs.
• Turn those internet memes into arts and crafts. Wait, why would you want to do that? That’s pretty nerdy, even for people who follow memes.
• Who is the worst everyday player in all of baseball? (HT: John)
• Who are the best teen movie villains of the ’80s? Keep sweeping those legs, Zabka.
• The quotable Ozzie Guillen.
• You shouldn’t be watching cartoons anyhow, pervert. But here’s some creepy stuff you might have seen.
• The pictures of Dusty alone should infuriate you. The rest should just make you feel like you walked in on someone masturbating. (HT: McManus)
  
• Talk about a full day! (HT: Ned Ryerson)
• Rape is clearly not funny, but this dude’s description of rape is hilarious. (HT: Johnny)
  
• TWEET OF THE WEEK: Aww. Canseco’s dog broke his heart? Or giving away the dog? I’m confused. Punctuation is your friend, Jose!
• NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: We live in a world where a team is actually discussing extending Dusty Baker. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
• FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Not as much a regular blog, but you can have hours and hours of fun making Batman say perverted things to Robin. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)

That’s all for this week, twerps. Tonight’s destination: Stink Town.

-Sweet Uncle Lou