This weekend, Dusty’s Reds are in town. Unfortunately, Shark Week is ending, so what the hell am I supposed to do other than crave sea lion? Thanks for the hints as to where on the internet interesting things might lie. I am aware that the Muskbox is finally back after a loooooong hiatus. It will be taken care of. All right. Time to ruin a perfectly productive Friday.

• Juan Pierre homered, yet we’re all still here.
• In case you did miss Shark Week, here is a summary of every Shark Week ever.
• I guess you could always watch people get eaten by sharks instead of the games this weekend.
• Are all movies starting to look the same to you? That’s because they are.
• Hey, it could be worse. At least you’re not this poor woman.
• Or even worse. These poor bastards.
• Finally, a list of comics about Nikola Tesla.
• Editing language? F— that.
• There’s nothing quite like a circus catch.
  
  EMBED-Spiderman Style Baseball Catch – Watch more free videos
• If you’re going to start an evil corporation, at least have a good business plan.
• The incredible story of Captain Higgins, Parasite.
• It’s almost like you can watch 102 years go by quickly with these time lapse videos.
• An interactive Choose Your Own Adventure movie with zombies.
  
• Turns out the oldest man in Tokyo was actually the oldest corpse in Tokyo.
• This is what happens when you toss either a brick or Sinatro’s jock strap into a washing machine.
  
• These giant buses will destroy us all!
• Sox fans are dicks.
• If you’re having a bad day on Monday, use science to help it.
• Six epic at-bats. Of course there’s a Cub on the wrong side of one of them.
• You Honky Tonked Me All Night Long.
• Serenity Now. Insanity…also now.
  
• I’ve been drunk before, but never “I slept through a dog chewing off my toe” drunk. (HT: Ned Ryerson)
• There’s no reason you should ever want to be Kanye West, but here’s how much it would cost you if you did. (HT: Santo10)
• TWEET OF THE WEEK: More of a Twitter trend, really, but #WookieLeaks is pretty damn fun.
• NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: Okay, knitmare fuel. Jesus.
• FEED READ OF THE WEEK: I’m Dating Myself. When I do it, it looks good.

That’s all for me this week, peons. There aren’t many more of these Roundups left before old Sweet Lou will ride off into the sunset. So, cherish them. Or don’t. What do I care?

-Sweet Uncle Lou