Hire Jim Essian

So, I was on a softball team this summer, and the roster of said softball team was filled with a lovable gang of drunks. As it happens, we were sponsored by Tommy Nevin's, and we spent more money there than any of the other sponsored teams. By way of reward (or, perhaps, punishment), Tommy Nevin's is sending a ... Read More

I hate to have to break this to you via the Fukudome, but it appears that the Cubs may very well be out of the NL Central race. The Central has become a two-team race with two of your least-favorite managers managing two of the reddest rosters in baseball. COMMIES. It's time to get your rooting interest ... Read More

Gang! It's the first Comment of the Week in the post-Piniella era. What a time to be alive! I hope the changes around here aren't too startling. You know Skip will always be here for you, even after that other #41 abandoned you all. It's time for yet another weekly comment! This week's Comment of the ... Read More

Wellity, wellity, wellity. Look who's on your little blog now? Uncle Mike has been reading up on this crap, and things are going to be done a little differently around here. It's serious time around here. I don't abide horseplay, rolling, polling, hoopla, and whatnot. This feature is now called Uncle Mike's Weekly BROWS- oh, ... Read More

So, Mike Quade is off to a pretty good start as interim manager. He's won three games in a row and swept the mighty Nationals. Wow! I'm sooooooo impressed. What were the Nationals? 53-71 going into Monday night's game? And they had to face whom? Livan Hernandez? Hell, that guy was practically ... Read More

Lou Piniella is smarter and luckier than you are. He doesn't have to watch this crap anymore. Lou's last game in a Cub uniform will be this afternoon, as he is off to help care for his mother, who has been in poor health. Sadly, thanks to the terrible team he was given, Lou's managerial career ends ... Read More

After yet another ridiculous loss, the Cubs find themselves- Oh, screw it. They're terrible, unlikable, and I hate them all. Which leads me to this week's FNF. I suggest you NEVER EVER do a GIS for "nuts smashed with hammer." You'll thank me later. Ladies, feel free to substitute in "ovaries," or whatever the ... Read More

Okay, so it's more like "Today at 1:20..." but the message is still the same. Derrek Lee is no longer a Cub, but, hey, at least John Grabow is out for the season. Remember him? Remember how he pitched for a while there? Sure you do. Not a whole lot of tips to be had ... Read More

Despite Lou Piniella's alleged mandate that all Cub infielders be wrapped in bubble wrap, surrounded in safety foam, and forbidden from diving for baseballs, Derrek Lee somehow managed to play his hardest, GET INJURED, and be traded to the Braves yesterday along with cash for three more young pitchers. Because the Cubs have a lot of young pitchers, see? Jim ... Read More

After this week's trade of Mike Fontenot to the San Francisco Giants, the Cubs have rid themselves of both members of the stupidly-named "Cajun Connection." Which former LSU double play teammate will you miss most of all, Scarecrow? VS. Mike Fontenot Ryan Theriot ... Read More