Hire Jim Essian

Hey, Marlon Byrd survived the All-Star Game, and Joey Votto is somehow pissed about that. I’ll tell you who DIDN’T survive the All-Star Game. George Steinbrenner. Seriously, he didn’t. Tips, as always, are wrapped in swaddling clothing and raised as my own. Roundup time.

There are many ways to ruin a relationship. Just ask Anita. Here are a bunch of them.
Everyone loves Joe Posnanski, so clearly everyone will love the 100 best movies he’s ever seen. It’s the greatest misapplication of the transitive property since the last one.
Kiss your afternoon goodbye with these aliens.
Famous last words. No, wait. FUNNY last words.
Who voices your favorite Simpsons characters? Well, Phil Hartman. But he’s dead. So now it’s these people.
Happy 30th birthday, Big League Chew.
What if summer blockbuster movie posters were honest? Well, we probably wouldn’t go see them.
We really are doomed in 2012! DOOOOOOM!!!
The periodic table of swearing doesn’t include all the ones I know.
Take a right on Tank Destroyer.
Match these lyrics to their corresponding sitcom theme songs.
Theirs was a love that could never be!
Super-easy mode!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Oh, the power of helvetica.
The TDubbs school of driving.
What (who?) we need is Willie Mays Hayes. (HT: Ryan)
This cannot be real. No man would ever willingly dress like that. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)
Oh, great. Now sharks are invisible. (HT: EnricoPallazzo)
The Geico guy is creepy, but this commercial is pretty awesome.
So THAT’S where Princess Leia was hiding.
TWEET OF THE WEEK: Our good friend PAUL SULLIVAN passes on a Derrek Lee dig on Ken Rosenthal. “D-Lee’s friends tell @Ken_Rosenthal he’d waive no-trade: D-Lee sez: ‘I would bet that not one of my friends knows who Ken Rosenthal is.’” Nice.
NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: A collection of prison tattoos. “That’s not nightmare fuel!” you exclaim. Oh, did I mention that the tattoos ARE STILL ATTACHED TO THE PRISONERS?
FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Forgotten Bookmarks. I always use one of my old baseball cards.

Enjoy the beginning of our inevitable march toward a third-place finish!

-Sweet Uncle Lou

santo10

The streak goes to two!!! This thing is going to die slowly, isn’t it
Edelweiss

What happened to Friday Night Fukudome?
Frasier Crane

Todd Hollandsworth vs. Gary Mathews would be a good Sunday Samurai Fukudome. Both broad casters are so bad. The winner: I listen to Santo on the radio.
Frasier Crane

Marmol always seem to blow it when he comes in with a 1 run lead. Yah Soto should have tagged him but walking the first 2 batters is BS. Tis is why Marmol is not an all-star.
Edelweiss

No trades have yet been announced, but something I saw briefly today is an indication that a certain Cub player will not go to the Angels, Red Sox, , Rangers,or Cards, and probably not to the Tigers, but, perhaps to the Yankees, or even the Brewers ., or he may remain with the Cubs. Let’s see how smart the people on this blog are, and if they caught the brief glimpse. Don’t forget the game is on Comcast, and can be reviewed. Hint…there is something unique to this player that makes the clue valuable.
Monkey Spunk

I’d like to punch Edelweiss in his balls
psychoch

I don’t care so much where our players may be going, so much as what we might be getting in return.
Edelweiss

@Monkey Spunk Edelweiss has no balls. She is a sweet little old lady. Shame on you!!!!!
Frasier Crane

I guess nobody’s reading this crap
Monkey Spunk

I made a sweet little old lady type “Monkey Spunk”. Nice.
Starlin Castrated

So what’s the betting that we suddenly become buyers? Admit it, you know we will.
Edelweiss

One of the Cubs has already been traded, but the announcement has not been made. The player was in the dugout during the game, but wearing jeans. As for Monkey Spunk, if that is what he wants to be known as, apparently he has no self-respect. Either that, or he is 14 years old, and thinks he is being clever.
PenFoe

8/10 on the sitcom soundtracks.

Got my 227s and Diff’rent Worlds confused…

Que TDubbs.
Monkey Spunk

Edelweiss–
Of course I have no self respect, I’m a Cubs fan.
You post riddles about blue jeans and expect peope to not shred you? Please.
Edelweiss

@psychoch The Cubs are apparently not going to want , or get anything more than just prospects, no matter whom they sell. The goal is to dump salary. Since they are not winning, anyway, they might as well lose with rookies and minor leaguers, and have money to buy some useful parts before Spring Training. The less expensive players will be traded with strings attached-a big contract will be part of a package. The players Hendry is trying to move are Fukudome, Lilly, Zambrano, and Theriot. However, other players are the ones being sought by other teams. Oh, and the player I saw in blue jeans has not yet been traded. One of his team-mates hid his uniform, and Piniella is pissed.
Tex

Joey Votto can eat a bag of dicks.

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Undefeated in the Second Half!” Edition

Advertisements

RSS Feed

The 2012 nut-punch ends in

Hot Topics

Recent Comments

Categories

HJE Archive

Cubs Sites

NL Central Blogs

Other Baseball Sites

Other Sites

Meta