Hire Jim Essian

Phil Rogers once again dabs the corners of his mouth with his drool bib, breaks out his box of 64 color crayons, and pens another installment of the consistently-pointless All-City Team. I know you're already aware that the only way Phil's columns are allowed to go outside is if they are attached by a leash to our good friend ... Read More

Oh, happy day! It's Crosstown Classic weekend! The weekend where two teams headed nowhere square off against one another and try to prove who cares less about playing one another. The answer? You fans. Also, me. I've been dealing with just the tips for the past two weeks, so we have some catching up ... Read More

You deserve it, dadgummit! ... Read More

Hello Cub fans and friends! It's been awhile since I took the time to post anything but my comment of the week. Let's be honest. Following the Cubs the past couple seasons has been as fun as following the Chicago Blackhawks during the 2004-05 season. But I appear today to pay homage to said Blackhawks, who can claim the Stanley Cup ... Read More

I think I'm having a Cub mid-life crisis. I had no idea who the Cubs were playing last night until I logged on to MLB At-Bat to watch highlights from Stephen Strasburg's debut. I wasn't surprised to learn that the Cubs had suffered another one-run loss to another terrible team. I can't remember the last time I ... Read More

Sorry about the sparcity in posting lately. It's been a busy week, and now I'm out of town. No time for a Roundup this week, so feel free to share your own ridiculous links in the comments. ... Read More

There's a reason I like to pick on Ryan Theriot. That reason is because he's not a very good hitter. In case you were fooled by Theriot's "awesome" start to the season, when he put up a .337/.370/.386 line good for a .757 OPS, you probably weren't fooled by his May. Because it was awful. Theriot just finished ... Read More