Hire Jim Essian

Now that some of the Blackhawks hysteria has worn off, it’s time to focus on America’s pastime. THE WORLD CUP! Unless you’d rather be watching Ryan Theriot lead off, you should probably get on the soccer bandwagon. USA! USA! USA! Your blue-blooded American tips can be sent here. Some of those tips end up in Roundups like this one.

Take my right fielder. Please.
Is there a good reason I’m playing Koyie Hill so much? Someone should ask me!
Bob Brenly hates the Cubs more than you do.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Has Billy Beane gone World Cup MAD?
Eight people you hate. Or at least 5-6 you hate and 2-3 you’ve never heard of.
This eco-friendly fridge will destroy us all.
I don’t know who Metallica is, and I don’t care.
Tom Hanks pees a lot in his movies.
Is Hendry on his way out the door? Thank God they didn’t hire Jim Essian, or I’d be worried, too.
Speaking of Skip, how dare this dude besmirch his good name?
Science discovers that no one likes to screw fat people.
Not again, Paper Towel Man!
Gary Pressy is really starting to freak me out.
Even the people who like Ozzie Guillen want him to shut up.
These miniature sitcom sets will make you wish you had a pocket-sized Kelly Bundy.
The 10 Best Movie Credits of all Time.
This guy should move to Wrigleyville.
You think we’ve got problems? At least we’re not the Diamondbacks.
Sweet flaming Jesus!
It’s nearly summer, meaning wiffle ball season is in full swing. Where are YOU playing?
If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s making history!
Scientists are baffled that Ozzy Ozbourne is still alive. (HT: Steve, for the link and the headline)
For God’s sake, guys. Keep hot wax away from your gonads. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)
TWEET OF THE WEEK: Ozzie’s assault on the English language continues. “Thanks lakers to make my son happy loved congrats one more mr jackson I wish I was you” All of those words probably could go together to make a sentence, but not in that order.
NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: I don’t know if this qualifies as “nightmare” or just “creepy,” but here are a bunch of people swimming around with dead things.
FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Sad Keanu. (HT: morpheus) The meme came from here, and it’s awesome.

Well, it’s time to continue the depantsing of the National League by the American League. This is getting embarrassing, guys. The American League dominance has gotten so bad, I almost rooted for the Mets last night. THE METS!

-Sweet Uncle Lou

cactusmcharris

I haven’t won one major league game as a manager, pitcher or club house towel boy, but I know that if you use your best players in a game your chances of winning improve. But, having said that, I might get deemed a know-it-all, so I won’t say it.
Starlin Castrated

So as it’s Friday and I’m currently wasting some time at work, let’s raise the question I’ve been pondering all week:

Somehow I’ve convinced my sister to like baseball. I took her to last Sunday’s game and she had a very good time, enjoyed the whole thing, liked cheering against the white sox, etc etc. On the drive home she was asking me a lot of questions about the game (general ones, ie, who are some good players, the HR vs the SB, world series winners, etc) when she asked me the one question that stumped me.

“what’s the most exciting play ever?”

How do you answer that? I mean, heck, mays’s catch, aaron’s 715, kirk gibson, rickey henderson, perfect games, hell there’s too many to count. i tried my best to think up some things like that, but as the game is freaking timeless and there’s all sorts of memories (walk off homers by aramis or lee or anyone, walkoff grand slams, perfect games, carlos’s no hitter, it’s like impossible, right!) football it’s easy. you show the play, the catch, walter payton highlights, a lot of the 85 season, the giant snatch, boom, done. but baseball? hell, i got a bajillion years of history here.

so i figured, as none of us wants to think about this nutpunch of a season, and we’re playing the angels this afternoon (woo, watch me give half a crap), anyone want to start listing moments of awesome for my sister to either read, find on youtube/mlb.com, or have me/my dad tell her the story about?

think of this as the “as much as the cubs have failed me at any point, baseball is one hell of a game and we should remember that.” anyone who wants to contribute can, and i’ll start it off with carlos’s no hitter. man that was a great night. thanks in advance guys!
http://none Edelweiss

OK Now that you’re good and bored, here is an update in Jeff baker’s ass. The right cheek is fuzzy like a tennis ball. The left one is smooth, shiny, and dark pink with scar tissue. It was this cheek that got hit by a pitch today, to which Baker attributes his two errors. And stupid Brenley says, “If you have to get hit somewhere, it might as well be there”. Where has he been?
TDubbs

@Starlin Castrated –

How hot is your sister?
http://hirejimessian.com Mike D.

Originally Posted By Starlin Castrated\

“what’s the most exciting play ever?”

How about Bill Wamsgams (sp.?) unassisted triple play in the 1920 World Series?

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Can We Score More than the U.S. World Cup Team?” Edition

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