Rejected Cubs Giveaways
I thought the Cubs had officially given up on non-ridiculous promotional giveaways when they gave out Mia Hamm jerseys or bobbleheads or ovaries, or whatever they gave out when Nomar Garciaparra was a Cub. But if you have the pleasure of going to today’s game against the Oakland A’s, you might be the recipient of this brilliant bobblehead doll which depicts Ryan Theriot fishing. Why fishing? Because the Cub marketing department long ago realized that we’re all a bunch of idiots. Besides, fishing is exactly what Theriot is going to be doing in early October. As always, HJE gets the behind-the-scenes access that no one unwilling to completely make up a bunch of stuff can get. With that said, here is a list of rejected Cub giveaways for the 2010 season.
- Derrek Lee NoDoz
- Ryan Dempster Novelty Vomit
- Geovany Soto Roach Clip
- Jim Essian’s Managing, Mustaches, and Me; Foreword by Bob Brenly
- Mike Fontenot SPF 10,000 Sunblock
- Carlos Zambrano Stress Ball
- Carlos Silva’s Copy of 8-Minute Abs (Mint condition! Still in original packaging!)
- Ron Santo Flip-Flops
- Ted Lilly Blunt Object
- Xavier Nady Game-Used Baseball (Nady will personally deliver the ball to your seat behind the Cub dugout during the game)
- Koyie Hill Fitted Gloves
- Jeff Samardzija; Seriously, someone please take him
- Jeff Baker Book of Matches
- Lou Piniella Autographed Copy of Decisiveness, NOW! Or as Soon as Possible
- Jim Hendry Free Agent Contract Giveaway; Three Years Guaranteed with a Full No-Trade Clause
- Randy Wells’ Bloated ERA (Offer good through first inning only)
Yours in the comments. Have at it.
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BigFlax
PenFoe
StPatrick
CT
CactusMcHarris
The 2010 Steve Stone Baseball Abstract
They initially wanted to do one of Theriot taking a pitch, but they couldn’t get a picture to base it off of.
Alfonso Soriano’s tips on how to be a great left fielder.
I’d be even more interest in Essian’s book if they removed a comma:
Jim Essian’s Managing Mustaches, and Me
The Derrek Lee walkoff homer bobblehead! Rare!
Carlos Marmol’s magic feather to help him fly
Koyie Hill’s wood carvings
Todd Hundley Breathalizer
The Fukudome Foreign Flopper Fan.
A Mike Fontenot Rag Doll to throw around the dugout til it runs for the bullpen. Batteries not included.
Does anyone else find it strange that Theriot has no bobblehead of himself as a Cub, but had one made of him fishing, with no indication that he is a Cub? I mean, he could have worn a floppy hat with Cubs logo, or something similar. It sort of seems that he is not committed to the Cubs, despite all they have done for him. If you look back at what he is done, he is not much of a team player, either. Most of what he does is to make himself look good. Most prima donnas at least have talent, but he is all fluff. Makes one wonder if he sees his future with the Cubs.
@Gene Clines
Carlos Zambrano has the real thing.
OOps, I stand corrected. There is a Cubs logo on Theriot’s hat in the picture, but the one I got today just had a plain hat.
all you can carry “this is the year” signs.
Authentic replica Crane Kenney and Jim Hendry BDSM kit
Sammy Sosa skin-care system.
Is Edelweiss serious? Really, I need to know.
Geo Soto eyebrow wax
@CT
Regarding what?
@CT
Regarding which comment?
I don’t understand all the hate for Ryan Theriot. If you go to baseballreference.com and go to the batting stats, and sort by OPS+, and then accidentally hit the OPS+ button again, Ryan Theriot comes up at No. 2!! Sure, he’s not having as good of a year as Pedro Feliz apparently is, but No. 2 in the NL is still pretty fucking good. He’s even ahead of Ronny Cedeno and that guy was a TOP PROSPECT for like 4 years. And he’s like 10 spots ahead of Jerry Hairston. Didn’t we pay like $18 mil for that guy for 1 year? What’s that you say? I sorted the OPS+ column in reverse? In that case, I’m glad I elected to watch the Mel Brooks marathon on AMC instead of today’s game. Which they apparently won 12-1. That means no runs for a solid 7-10 days.
I stand to have an incredibly productive summer considering how little time I will spend drinking and watching the Cubs. And by “productive” I mean I will be drinking and watching other stuff*.
*anything with Guttenberg
@EnricoPallazzo – Steve Guttenberg, or the printing press? Both would be preferable to watching this team
@Enrico Pallazzo
I don’t think they are referring to his hitting, or his fielding. People have become tired of his attitude, which has done an about face from last year. He has been putting himself ahead of his team-mates, and acting as though he is carrying the team. Since the Castro call-up, he has been sulking, and is not getting along with his team-mates. In Spring Training, he challenged Castro to”come and get it”, referring to the shortstop job. Theriot was given a job he can better handle, at second base, but he has been complaining ever since. Also, you are mistaken about his OPS, which is On Base Percentage plus slugging. Theriot’s is one of the lowest on the Cubs, let alone the National League. He does have a large number of hits, but also one of the highest number of at-bats.
Although he is in the lineup every day, Theriot is “disappearing” in several ways. First of all, he used to be on David Kaplan’s show every homestand – but not for several weeks. Then he was on Fox’s Final Word every other Sunday, alternating with AJ Pierczynski. AJ has been on for all Sox homestands, but Theriot has not been on for almost a month, and they have stopped mentioning it altogether when it is his turn. When scheduling problems kept one of them from being on the show, they mentioned it, but theyhave been strangely silent lately about Theriot. Then there is the bobblehead doll. The picture of the doll shows a Cubs logo on the hat, but the one I received at the game had a plain hat, and so did the ones I saw other people around me holding. In fact, none of the ones I saw at the game had the Cubs logo. I do not believe any other MLB player had his bobblehaed made of anything but his team’s uniform.. Rumor has it that Theriot has asked to be traded, even though he is playing just about every day. If his attitude is affecting the team’s play, maybe he should.
@Edelweiss –
With respect, where are you getting this info from? To me, Theriot’s “ego” has always come off as a playful act for the reporters. I find this all a bit hard to believe.
@ Jeff
That is not inside information. You can see for yourself that he has not been making those regular appearances, and that reporters rarely come to him for interviews. Before the Castro call-up, he was interviewed almost every day, and quoted regularly.
Good discussion, but I think we got a bit off topic.
I don’t understand all the hate for Ryan Theriot. If you go to baseballreference.com and go to the batting stats, and sort by OPS+, and then accidentally hit the OPS+ button again, Ryan Theriot comes up at No. 2!! Sure, he’s not having as good of a year as Pedro Feliz apparently is, but No. 2 in the NL is still pretty fucking good. He’s even ahead of Ronny Cedeno and that guy was a TOP PROSPECT for like 4 years. And he’s like 10 spots ahead of Jerry Hairston. Didn’t we pay like $18 mil for that guy for 1 year? What’s that you say? I sorted the OPS+ column in reverse? In that case, I’m glad I elected to watch the Mel Brooks marathon on AMC instead of today’s game. Which they apparently won 12-1. That means no runs for a solid 7-10 days.
I stand to have an incredibly productive summer considering how little time I will spend drinking and watching the Cubs. And by “productive” I mean I will be drinking and watching other stuff*.
*anything with GuttenbergReply – Quote