When I was growing up watching Cubs games with Harry Caray and Steve Stone in the booth, I’m ashamed to admit that I honestly thought Stone was a baseball genius. It blew my mind that Stone could prognosticate which pitch would be thrown in a certain situation or whether or not a batter would try to steal a base. He was almost inevitably right, and a young, slack-jawed Kermit was amazed by his mystical powers. And then I grew up and realized that Stone was basically predicting that Carlos Marmol would use his slider on an 0-2 pitch. I thought to myself, “Doesn’t EVERYONE know that?”
They do. Which is why Steve Stone is only relevant when he focuses his special brand of condescending smugness on someone who actually works in Major League Baseball. I know some people felt that Chip Caray held Stone back when the two of them were working together. I didn’t. I thought Caray and Stone were perfectly matched. The giggling, on-air, circle-jerk they had at the end of the 2004 season was the sound of two entitled assholes playing footsie under the broadcast desk while delighting in ripping everyone who wasn’t as smart as they perceived themselves. Honestly, how can someone be such a jackass that he makes you side with Kent Mercker? Ask Steve Stone. The horrible broadcaster rubbed Lou Piniella the wrong way last week prior to the Cubs-Sox series.
Sayeth Lou:
It’s a tough situation. I know I get criticized for it. We’ve got a lot of people here that haven’t managed and won any games in the big leagues, but they know everything. You know? They really do.
Like how Stone correctly predicts that the runners will be moving on a 3-2 pitch with bases loaded and two outs? He knows EVERYTHING!
I think they should try to put the uniform on and try this job and see how they like it when they get criticized unjustly. That’s all I’ve got to say about that issue. But you get tired of it. I’m trying to do the best job I possibly can and the only people I need to listen to are the people in my organization, that’s it.
We already know what happens when Stone gets criticized unjustly. He cries and bitches until he’s no longer welcome on team flights, and then he makes snarky comments about it on the air. It’s passive-agressivetastic!
But I get tired of being nitpicked and tired of being criticized unjustly. Why don’t they talk to me first before they do it, OK, and get my viewpoints and my feelings and then make a determination?
Because what you’re suggesting he do there is called “responsible and intelligent broadcasting.” Like how Len Kasper actually goes down the clubhouse before and after games and talks to the players and coaches. You know. To glean information from them which he can then use to make his broadcast more insightful and entertaining.
The same way that I get called ridiculous, they’re ridiculous in the same way they report things, too. And another thing I’m going to say: I won over 1,800 games as a manager and I’m not a damn dummy, that I can tell you. There are only 13 other (managers) that have won more games than me. I guess I think I know what the hell I’m doing.
Oh, really, Lou? Have YOU ever appeared in Playgirl magazine? Check. Mate.
Look, the media here in this town for the most part are really, really good, and I enjoy working with them. Especially the people that work with me on a day-to-day basis. But why should I be … talk to me. Get my feelings, get my viewpoints, and then if you don’t agree with me, say what you want. But at least give me the courtesy of defending myself and giving my explanations on why things are done or not done. That’s all I ask. And that’s only fair.
“I would like to congratulate everyone here in the media on a job well done except for the following people, in alphabetical order. Stone, Steve. That is all.”
And Steve Stone? He’s got enough problems doing what he does with the White Sox. What job has he had in baseball besides talking on television or radio? What has he done?
Easy, Lou. You’re talking about the best, non-accountable, completely imaginary general manager that the last-place Arizona Diamondbacks have ever seen!
Why isn’t he a farm director and bring some kids around? Why isn’t he a general manager, and put the uniform on and been a pitching coach? Why hasn’t he been a field manager? There’s 30 teams out there that could use a guy’s expertise like that. I’m tired of some of these guys, I really am. Now that’s it. Let’s go to baseball.
I have some answers to your questions.
- No one wants to hire him.
- No one wants to hire him.
- No one wants to hire him.
Stone replied with his usual, “What’s the big deal, Lou? I’m just being a total asshole!” routine.
I’ve been talking about Tyler Colvin for well over a month, that he should be playing every day. I felt if you broke camp with this guy, you’ve got to play him. Or let him hit in Triple-A. Just let him swing the bat. I haven’t seen one guy that gets better on the bench. Not one.
Stone is still the White Sox color commentator, right? The Cubs didn’t rehire him, did they? Shouldn’t he be ripping Ozzie Guillen every time he plays Juan Pierre in the outfield and uses Andruw Jones as a DH?
Stone smarmily continued:
I’ve talked to Lou a lot. I haven’t talked to him today. But, no, he’s entitled to his opinion and I’ve always respected Lou. My respect for Lou has nothing to do with what I said. Before he got the job, he was a guy I had championed for the job, because I thought he was the best man for the job at that point.
“I, Steve Stone, heartily endorsed the hiring of a Cub manager who led the team to back-to-back-to-back winning seasons for the first time since Leo Durocher. OH, GOD, SOMEONE PLEASE HIRE ME. HAWK SMELLS LIKE COFFEE AND BLACK DRESS SOCKS.”
I’ve probably said about 5,000 nice things about Lou Piniella. And now I say something and he doesn’t particularly like… well, he didn’t come up to me and say thanks a lot for saying those nice things.
There have been times when I’ve wished Lou Piniella would do something differently. But I firmly endorse his, “I totally ignore everything Steve Stone has to say” position.
But now he decides, when I say something he doesn’t like, he’s going to go into my past. My past is pretty good. I’ve seen a lot of games in both leagues, done a lot of things.
Played and talked about baseball. That’s it. Hell, I’VE done that.
Lou was a terrific ballplayer, won a lot of world championships and he’s been a great manager. I’m not going to criticize anything he’s done.
“…except for directly criticizing how he’s handled Tyler Colvin.”
It was an observance and when you need to have a front-office job to make an observance about baseball, there’s going to be nobody working in baseball.
“And on that day, when all of the managers, pitching coaches, and general managers are all dead, WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE HIRE ME, STEVE STONE, THE GREATEST OF ALL PLAY-BY-PLAY BROADCASTING IMAGINARY GENERAL MANAGERS???”
None of you media guys are going to be working in baseball because then you can’t say anything because you’ve never been in the front office. That might be one of the dumber things he’s said.
Lou just created a situation in which Phil Rogers can no longer write about baseball. To me, that sounds like the smartest thing he’s ever said.
I met Steve Stone in spring training in 1994 & he was just a big cigar smoking self righteous asshole.
@Frasier Crane – And by “cigar,” you mean, “pole.”
Seriously Dude. You don’t miss those “when will you ever pick up the tab” conversations Chip and Stoney had every other day? Hilarious! Beer came out of my nose just typing that.
Steve Stone is like that dipshit in high school that really, seriously believes that:
a)he’s a complete genius,
b)his ‘dry, snide sense of subtle humor’ (read:jackass) is awesome, and
c)he’s better than you. Way better than you. At everything.
He’s also that guy in your gym class that keeps trying to get everyone to look at his cock.
Steve Stone might be a dipshit, but so is Lou Piniella. Have you noticed that the last two times Mike Fontenot came in to pinch hit, he came in from the bullpen instead of the dugout? Could there be any sane reason for a manager to make a position player sit out where he can’t watch the game? According to Lou, there is. Several times this year one of the big guys has come up behind Fontenot, and lifted him off his feet, while he was watching the game. Lou is worried one of them might get hurt, so what does he do? Does he tell them to stop? Oh no, he has a better idea. He makes Fontenot sit in the bullpen, even if it is raining, so the big guys aren’t tempted .
If anyone is wondering why the team is losing, and seems to lack spirit, look to Lou. Does he really think he can abuse the smallest guy in MLB, and not break the team’s spirit? First he benches Fontenot when he is hitting over .300; then he tells him he must earn playing time , but his only opportunities will come against the closers as a pinch hitter, then he is banished from the dugout because of something that was done to him, in which he was not a willing participant.
Now that Colvin is getting his starts, maybe Stone should call Lou out for singling out a player for abuse who did nothing to deserve it.
I had thought about writing a post at EoC about Stone, but you’ve pretty much said everything I would have, BK. I also grew up listening to Harry and Steve and I thought Stone was a genius as well. But then he pulled that crybaby crap in 2004 and has had a hard-on for the Cubs ever since. Could the situation have been handled better? Sure, on both sides. I lost a lot of respect for Stone when he told Kerry Wood that he should be selling cars if he couldn’t stay healthy in the big leagues. Wood may have been injury prone, but I never once questioned Wood’s desire to play and when he was healthy, Woody always gave everything he had. He wasn’t some pussy crying over minor injuries, but a guy who endured shoulder and elbow troubles for most of his tenure with the Cubs.
And now we have Stone’s comments on Lou Piniella. While I agree that Colvin needs more playing time, at least more than Xavier Nady, I think Lou has actually done a good job of mixing the outfield up. Unless Colvin can bat more than once per inning, it doesn’t really matter, since he and Byrd are the only ones hitting with any consistency at this point. This was just another chance for Stone to kick the Cubs while they’re down and he’s taking full, gleeful advantage. It’s been six years, fuckstick. Why don’t you concentrate on commenting about the team that actually pays you to do so? He and Harrelson are a match made in dbag heaven.
The Friday night Fukudome should have been Stone vs. Lou. Both are douches of the highest order. BK has covered Stone’s douchebaggery in elegant detail, but as for Lou, I have no use for anybody playing the “you can’t comment on my job as manager unless you’ve been a manager yourself” card.
Besides which, putting aside his whining, Stone’s absolutely right about Colvin. He should play everyday, if not here, then in AAA. Sitting him on the bench does nobody any good–not him, nor the team, and that’s the point that Lou’s missed all season.
why do you guys bash Steve Stone? He really is very knowledgable about the game and isn’t afraid of speaking his mind. So he doesn’t play politics and says it the way he sees it. Why do you have a problem with that? You say he’s out of line? He may have a big ego, but from what I heard his IQ is 140, so he is smarter than the average dumb’ass jock. Steve is a very intelligent guy, aside from his smugness