Folks, we have reached a new low, even by Muskbox standards. Someone actually took the time to write in and complain about Starlin Castro. Starlin is currently sporting an excellent .328/.386/.469 line. As Dolan recently pointed out, he has reached base at least once in every single game he’s played. All seventeen of them. He makes plays that little Ryan Theriot can’t even dream of making. For the first time in quite some time, a Cub position prospect might actually be the real deal. Yet there is still someone bitching. I hate Cubs fans. Let’s get this over with.
I have to vent some frustration with the decision to call up Castro.
I have to punch you in the back of the skull.
The Cubs are struggling offensively and they justify the callup and Ryan Theriot position switch by citing improved defense when the defense is not the problem. Consistent offense is the problem.
NOT THE PROBLEM: Castro’s offense.
Mike Fontenot is a stud…
Really? REALLY!? RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA?
…and was having a superb season.
Currently .309/.352/.402. If that’s your definition of “superb,” I’d hate to sleep with your definition of “hot.”
What a slap in the face to bench him so the organization can go through growing pains.
I would like to slap you in the face with a bench.
I understand the kid can play, or so everyone keeps telling me…
Or so watching the games would tell you if you weren’t a baseball idiot.
…but now he’s averaged an error a game. Our defense is suffering, too.
But you said OFFENSE was our problem.
If you want a spark, bring someone up to make Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee sweat and sit them a couple days a week.
Let me get this straight. You’re bitching about Mike Fontenot getting bumped out of the lineup for STARLIN CASTRO, but you’re advocating calling up Micah Hoffpauir and Chad Tracy to replace Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez?
Your thoughts?
– Adam F., Crown Point, Ind.
There’s too much lead in the water in Crown Point.
CARRIE: You sent this early last week, and I hope by now you’ve had a chance to see Castro play.
Or that you’ve started drinking bottled water.
CARRIE: Because the Cubs have had a tough time scoring runs, they needed to figure out a way to stop their opponent other than putting all the responsibility on the pitchers.
They should use sneakery!
CARRIE: That’s why they needed to improve the defense. If not, any little mistake results in runs — and usually another loss.
Also, malicious booing from the heartless mouths of the Wrigley Field “faithful.”
CARRIE: So, if the Cubs are better defensively with Castro — and he’s made plays at short that Theriot can’t — and they move Theriot to a position where he’s better with the glove, that helps the pitchers, which helps the team.
Kudos, Carrie. This is the best sentence you’ve ever written. I mean, not STRUCTURALLY. It’s sort of a hot mess structurally. But I like the part where you call Theriot a twat.
CARRIE: Plus, Castro has contributed at the plate for someone who’s only been in the big leagues two weeks.
Or two years. Or ten years. The kid has been really, really, really good.
CARRIE: As for Fontenot, he’s in a tough spot.
Is his locker next to Jeff Baker’s explosive anus?
CARRIE: He’s been a good soldier and handled this well.
My apologies to the actual veterans who read this site. Not all of us think you’re dwarves who fear the sun.
CARRIE: Look at the key contribution he made Saturday night with a pinch-hit RBI single against the Rangers. He’ll play, even if it’s not as much as you’d like.
This is as good a place as any to point out that Theriot’s OBP has dropped to .325, and it’s only 5 points behind his slugging percentage. He only has five extra-base hits this season. More than 90% of his hits are singles.
What? That wasn’t a good place to point that out? Oh, well.
With the struggling offense, why doesn’t Lou Piniella make some adjustments to the lineup? Marlon Byrd is hitting .310 while Ramirez is at only .160. Why not drop Ramirez to seventh, move Byrd to cleanup, Castro second, Geovany Soto third and Lee fifth. I mean, we need to do something to spark some offense and get runs.
– Chris W., Arlington Heights, Ill.
I- don’t have a sarcastic response for this. I’d probably shake up the lineup at least for a few games, too, if I were Lou. Aramis is swinging from his ass at everything. Dropping him down in the lineup might take some of the pressure off him. Lou had no problems dropping Soriano, so why not? I also have no problems moving Lee down until the calendar reads “June 1.”
CARRIE: Piniella is considering lots of combinations, and one thing that may stay constant is keeping Castro in the No. 2 spot. That’s where the kid is comfortable, and he’s able to do a lot of things.
Like watch Theriot hit a 12-hopper through the right side of the infield, then get caught stealing.
CARRIE: Plus, the Cubs are 6-0 when Castro bats second.
CLEARLY THAT IS THE REASON FOR THEIR UNBEATABILITYNESS!
CARRIE: Right now, Piniella has two problems.
High cholesterol and inability to control his rage.
CARRIE: One is Ramirez. He will be sitting for a few days to let a sore left thumb heal. When healthy, do you keep playing Ramirez in hopes that he gets out of his funk?
Yes. Unquestionably yes. It’s almost offensive that this question was even asked.
CARRIE: The third baseman says he knows his own swing but hasn’t made adjustments. Read on for Piniella’s other problem.
Why must you torture me?
Piniella promised playing time to Colvin when he made the team, and it seems he’s forgotten about the rookie. The kid seems to have a great bat. Why can’t he get more time?
– Kevin J., Cissna Park, Ill.
Mean old Coach Lou also promised Tyler orange slices after the fifth inning and a double scoop after the game!
CARRIE: Colvin is sitting because the other outfielders are doing well. If Alfonso Soriano and Kosuke Fukudome were struggling the way they did last year, it’d be a no-brainer.
HINT: Fukudome is. After his ridiculous April, he’s hitting .259/.348/.414 in May. Haven’t we seen this movie before? Like, every other year he’s been with the Cubs.
SPOILER: He gets worse in June.
CARRIE: Byrd, Soriano and Fukudome all are batting above .300. Piniella has acknowledged getting Colvin into the mix has been tougher than he thought. The rookie has played well enough to merit more time.
Sometimes when Lou is trying to write “COLVIN” on his lineup card, his hand slips and he writes “???.”
I’m an avid follower of the Cubs’ Minor League players.
SIGH.
I’ve noticed Jackson hasn’t been playing for four straight games, and I can’t find out why.
You can’t find out because no one else cares.
Also, when the Cubbies…
DOUBLE SIGH.
…promoted some of their top prospects, Jackson didn’t get the call to Double-A. I’ve been wondering why since he was tearing up Class A Daytona.
– Josh B., Kingsport, Tenn.
You know, “Jackson” is sort of a common name, and there might be multiple players in the Cub- I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. Is it Michael Jackson? Because he’s dead.
CARRIE: Jackson was sidelined with a foot injury but returned to Daytona’s lineup on May 16. You can check the Minor League affiliates page for info on Daytona and other Cubs Minor League teams. I also post a daily update on my blog titled “Minor matters.”
TRIPLE SIGH.
CARRIE: Or, just send me an e-mail.
Especially if you’re down for some public humiliation.
CARRIE: Let’s keep Jackson in Daytona for now. He’s young, surrounded by good teammates, and still learning.
Are you talking to me, now, or Jim Hendry? Because one of us is probably in the middle of a meal, and it’s not me.
Looking at their 2010 performances in Iowa…
GOD DAMMIT.
…two pitchers stuck out as potentially making it to Chicago this year, maybe even before September. Thomas Diamond has a 2.08 ERA in eight starts with a 1.08 WHIP, while Jay Jackson has a 2.23 ERA with a 0.92 WHIP in 10 appearances, including five starts. Diamond, being a first-round pick in 2004, seemingly may have the stuff to be a late-inning option for the Cubs, although he hasn’t pitched in relief. Jackson has pitched only in relief in his last four outings. Could one or both of these be ticketed for Chicago anytime soon?
– Ryan C., St. Charles, Ill.
Nope. NEXT!
CARRIE: This is the first time Diamond has been healthy for an extended stretch. He’ll stay at Iowa as a starter to keep building up arm strength. Jackson, though, could be up sooner. He was switched to relief because of the need on the big league team.
The Sun-Times already has their brilliant headlines ready:
DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
SHOELESS(?) JAY JACKSON
CARRIE: I’m going to stay out of the predicting business…
“…because I can no longer fit into my gypsy costume.”
CARRIE: …but I’d guess we’ll see both in Chicago this year.
“I’m going to stay out of the predicting business, but here’s my prediction.”
I’m baffled as to why the Cubs don’t have Tracy on the Major League ballclub right now.
And these Pringles in a can? HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET TO THE PRINGLES AT THE BOTTOM? Baffling.
Another lefty bat would be great to counter the righty-heavy lineup. He’s great defensively at first and third and could fill in for struggling Lee and Ramirez in a pinch, not to mention he’s raking down in Iowa. Is there any chance of seeing him back in Chicago soon?
– Henry F., Batavia, Ill.
If I could bottle up a roster full of 25 Chad Tracys, I’d have something special.
CARRIE: Tracy was 1-for-12 off the bench with the Cubs. Sure, he’s doing better at Iowa. That’s because he’s getting regular playing time. But the Cubs wanted him to contribute as a pinch-hitter. Jeff Baker also is a little more versatile than Tracy.
He can summon a ball of fire FROM HIS ASSHOLE. What more do you need?
The Cubs have not been good with runners in scoring position. I was trying to find what the team is batting with RISP. Could you tell me?
/smashes keyboard
//feels pang of regret
///runs to Best Buy to purchase new keyboard
It seems we have the most runners stranded in baseball. I still think Ramirez will turn it around but I’d like to know what he’s batting with RISP.
– Todd L., Baton Rouge, La.
/smashes new keyboard
CARRIE: Through Sunday, the Cubs are batting .263 with runners in scoring position, which is 10th in the National League (Arizona is first at .318). Ramirez is batting .188 with RISP.
And I am 2-2 in smashing keyboards this morning!
Why, after announcing that Sean Marshall will be the setup man, did Piniella put John Grabow in the big eighth inning against the Phillies on Thursday? I’m not one to typically criticize moves Piniella makes, but Grabow has been nothing short of miserable this year. Why make the announcement and then stick by the same lefty who has been pitching poorly?
– Nick I., Evansville, Ind.
Because everyone hates SeanBearPig. Everyone makes me sad.
CARRIE: In that game, Marshall was the designated closer because Carlos Marmol was not available. Marmol had thrown nearly 30 pitches the night before. Piniella often has to adjust his bullpen because of availability, and he gets an update every day on who’s ready and who needs a breather. He just doesn’t reveal who’s on call and who isn’t because that may give the other team an edge.
So he IS trying sneakery! Excellent!
Why don’t the Cubs ever wear throwback or retro jerseys?
Because there really aren’t many differences between their retro jerseys and their current ones?
ALTERNATIVELY
Because no one cares about retro jerseys?
I’m a huge fan of them.
Oh.
I know the Cubs wore them last year against the Braves, but are they going to wear them this year at all? The Cubs have a really cool history of uniforms and I’d love to see the powder blue from 1978, the 1980s uniforms or even the uniforms from the ’40s.
– Bill P., Orland Park, Ill.
All golden ages of Cub baseball.
CARRIE: I’m not a fan of the powder blue — and don’t like the solid blue tops they wear now — but have heard whispers that the Cubs might have a throwback uniform this season. Stay tuned.
No Muskbox would be complete without a fashion question. And no research would ever be done on the Muskbox without a fashion question. And all those whispering voices on the Lost island? They were whispering the answer to this fashion question. STAY TUNED!
Just love how Carrie cannot clarify which Minor League ‘Jackson’ the idiot is referring to. That would have been enough had she not gone on later about Jay Jackson in AAA. While we’re talking about Jacksons, why not throw Nic Jackson into the mix. Anyone remember him? The 2009 Northern League (Ind.) MVP? No??! Well, in case you became a bit more curious, here’s a link: http://www.oursportscentral.com/services/releases/?id=3995266
Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at your Lost viewing parties, you want me on that field. You need me on that field. We use words like, “Whoops, my bad” and “You sure that was strike 3? Looked outside to me,” and “Pull my finger.” We use these words as a backbone of a life spent going through complete shit-your-pants late season collapses. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the very blanket…..oooh Theriot is making the firetruck noises again! I love when he does that!
@Mike Fontenont in A Few Good Fontenots – Outstanding.
It’s about time someone pointed it out that Theriot has a very empty batting average. He has few extra base hits, and few RBIs in the most at-bats on the team. Even worse, he has three times as many strikeouts as walks , and an OBP hardly higher than his BA – this for a lead-off man. The problem is not Fontenot vs Castro; it is Fontenot vs Theriot. Fontenot is a much better hitter, but Theriot is more consistant. This year he has been consistantly mediocre. With the speed to steal bases, why can’t he make doubles out of singles, the way Fontenot does? Why can’t he run out ground balls with a man on first, and avoid the double play? He is supposed to be very high on the RISP list, so why only 14 RBIs, the same as Fontenot, in almost twice as many ABs?
As a shortstop, this could be tolerated, as it is an important defensive position, but he couldn’t play shortstop, so now that he is at second, he needs to produce runs. He is popular with the media, but not so much with his team mates, and provides no leadership. Moving him to second will help him defensively, but it may expose his weaknesses.
@Edelweiss – Well put.