Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Many Faces of Woo” Edition 8

The image to your right is just one of the many amazing/infuriating ones you’ll find among these 10 years of Ronnie Woo photographs. (HT: Luis) The pictures reveal the answers to so many mysteries. Did you know Ronnie has a daughter? Did you know he’s never been sober? Did you know he likes to chase cars? Did you know he goes to White Sox games even when the Cubs aren’t playing? Did you know he hung out with the fat kid from Stand By Me? Wonders never cease. Nor does the Roundup. Except for that one week when it did. Good Roundup tips, as always, make me hate you slightly less.

  • Dusty Baker has mastered the eight-run inning.
  • Speaking of that game, Mark Prior can’t catch a break. Or a baseball rocketing toward his shoulder.
  • It’s season finale week (RIP: Lost). These cheat sheets will help you get through it.
  • You can’t do what Steve Phillips can do. Unless you put a paper bag over her head.
  • If you keep Googling yourself, you’ll go blind. But that’s not the only reason to be scared of Google.
  • E.T. is really going to be looking forward to the season finale of Lost.
  • Speaking of which, it’s a Hurley “dude” montage!
  • Twenty-five terrible sports movies of the past twenty-five years.
  • Is your relationship in a rut? Who are you kidding? No woman will have you. But these relationship tips are funny, anyhow.
  • This girl hates flowers, and you will laugh.
  • Your stupid brain tricks you into seeing a huge moon.
  • Some funny TV screencaps. (HT: Luis) Say what you will about Fox News, but it’s balanced and spectacular.
  • Emo Mom is one bottle of Draino away from being defunct. (HT: Ginger Russ) An example of what you’ll find: “I bet my Second Life husband would never ditch me for a night out drinking with his friends. Wait, yes he did. Twice last week.”
  • You have to stick around for the end of this news segment about the G-shot. You just have to. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)
  • Wow. This guy hates Milton Bradley even more than I do. (HT: Shea)
  • A first pitch gets thrown out to the soooooound of old T-Rex.
  • Who you gonna- SHH!!!
  • The Empire Strikes Back…to the Future?
  • TWEET OF THE WEEK: “Mlb needs me to to a manager I am ready” You sure are, Jose Canseco. You suuuuure arrrrre. Be sure to follow the link just to see Jose’s Twitter wallpaper. It’s awesome.
  • NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: A great white shark with canine teeth. (HT: domermq) See the Feed Read of the Week for the punchline.
  • FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Cannot Unsee. If you don’t already feel bad for masturbating to Hermione Granger, this will help.

That’s it for me, chickenshits. Enjoy your healthy dose of John Grabow this weekend!
-Sweet Uncle Lou

  • Starlin Castrated

    That top 25 movies list made me remember Mr. 3000. Holy crap that was one terrible movie. I refuse to believe that being an asshole will keep you out of the hall of fame (as Ty Cobb proved), and I also refuse to believe that Bud Selig would have forked over money to keep a 3000 hit star on his club.

  • Moon

    Fisted Foul is right about this!

    “Chicago alone has enough shitty sports radio hosts to supply entire countries”

  • Starlin Castrated

    Also, while it is only 9:30ish in Chicago, I’m whining about the lack of content. (I’m on Eastern Time in the urine-soaked hellhole peepee soaked heckhole that is Indiana)

    Where’s my Friday Night Fukudome? How will I know how to feel about two random things if they aren’t put up against each other? And where’s the comments of the week? Were they arrested in this White Sox fan v. White Sox fan fight?

    Or is it a deeper conspiracy that goes all the way to the Rand corporation in conjunction with the saucer people and the reverse vampires?

  • blueslacker

    I really enjoyed Major League III though. You put Ted McGinley, Corben Bernsen and Scott Bakula in the same film, and you’ve got something pretty magical.

  • Edelweiss

    If you thought Fartgate was moronic, there is something just as silly, but much safer that the players do to amuse themselves. They lather up in the shower, and blow fart bubbles. Sometimes it looks like the set of the Lawrence Welk Show. Current participants are Zambrano, Soto, Fontenot and Soriano. It has been going on since 2007 in Chicago; allegedly Fontenot started it in Iowa. The object is to sneak up on the others, and send them a fart bubble. It is hard for the Latin players to sneak up loaded with lather on their brown bodies, but Fontenot has skin the color of a marshmallow, and cannot tan, so he can be loaded with soap, and not be noticed, especially as he is below eye level. Now you know why female reporters have to stay out of the locker room.

  • santo10

    I thought WOO was just a homeless bum, but he has a daughter? Someone had sex with him? eww

  • Moon

    Originally Posted By blueslackerI really enjoyed Major League III though. You put Ted McGinley, Corben Bernsen and Scott Bakula in the same film, and you’ve got something pretty magical.

    What’s really sad is: I know who each of those actors are. That depresses me.

    /I wonder how many fans Ronnie Woo-Woo has driven away over the years – more than he’s brought to the park, is my guess.

  • JerBear50


    I wonder how many fans Ronnie Woo-Woo has driven away over the years more than hes brought to the park, is my guess.

    You mean actually brought into the game, or just outside to panhandle?