Hey, did you notice how me and Carlos have what us Spaniards might call a relationship that has gone “frio”? We barely speak anymore, he doesn’t return my phone calls, and he’s only pitched 7 2/3 innings since he was moved to the bullpen. So, what gives? More importantly, does anyone care? It’s been a loooooong time since the last Roundup, so I have lots of crap to cover, including a double-dose of your very-much-appreciated tips. As Kevin Millar would probably say just before I punch him in the face, “ROUND UP!”
- If there’s one thing that Dolan loves, it’s the MLB Network.
- Is this heaven? No, it’s just a farm with a baseball field.
- Ten Unwritten Rules of Baseball. Now with writing! (HT: A-Ram Baller)
- Any insiders want to tell us why Kyle Farnsworth is the baddest man in baseball (other than his pitching)? (HT: Rick)
- It’d be interesting to see how my own “shit I’ve said to umpires” chart compares to this one.
- Sammy Sosa is back in black.
- Wait, Torii Hunter wants to eat his baseball glove?
- Am I the only one who thinks that not only is the Batting Stance Guy annoying as hell, but his batting stances aren’t even that good? It can’t be just me, right?
- Prince Fielder will eat anything.
- Hey, I’m lazy, and I haven’t created a pop culture classic. Yet.
- Kids say the darnedest things to their stupid parents.
- Since we were hacked right before Mother’s Day, I’ll make up for it with these awesome pictures of animals in the womb.
- The Gashlycrumb Losties is an inspired piece of work.
- Is xkcd the most influential site on the web (aside from HJE, of course)?
- Joe Posnanski’s love letter to Brendan Fraser. You have to admit, he’s a “special” actor.
- This video will make you want to climb onto the treadmill, fatty fat fatty.
- I bet it was a poodle. (HT: Shea)
- Since we no longer have Hitler parodies to keep us entertained, we might as well make our own.
- I cannot stress this enough. Stop shoving stuff up your friends’ butts. (HT: Jim)
- To be fair, you basically HAVE to play a drum solo at that part. (HT: santo10)
- Women be shoppin’! Am I right, guys? Oh, wait. I am?
- Do they have one that looks exactly like Rothschild’s windbreaker?
- This has to have happened at Wrigley Field at some point, right?
- This Lego retelling of the Star Wars trilogy is awesome.
- Hank Azaria is a hell of a broadcaster. (HT: John)
- Three days later, the car was completely repaired. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)
- TWEET OF THE WEEK: Carlos Zambrano is a table dancer?
- NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: Ruptured testicle. Sleep well, assholes.
- FEED READ OF THE WEEK: Dirty Phone Book. (HT: IrishYeti) He suggests cycling through the random ones for some hilarity.
Okay, that’s it for me, punks. Now that the site is stitched together with bubble gum and duct tape, you can probably expect some actual posts soon. But never hold your breath. Unless you’re around Sinatro after a double-header in July.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
Not to change the subject, but OK, I will. Word has leaked out that Theriot is pissed off and wants to be traded. I don’t know if he or Hendry will admit it, but they had words. At one time, I was a Theriot fan, but his demeanor this year has been a turn-off. A starting job was taken away from Fontenot, and given to him so that he would have an easier time in the field, and HE was the one who sulked. The Cubs have lost all of the games after Castro’s call-up day, in which Theriot started. It could be that he is trying to sabotage the rookie. The Cubs should trade him while he still has value; he usually fades towards the end of the season. His average is high, but declining slowly, and it is empty. He has exactly as many RBIs and extra base hits as Fontenot, in almost twice as many at bats, and for a while I thought Fontenot had an empty BA, but he has improved since the Castro call-up. His 2.6 Million might fetch a decent set-up man, and we could get Darwin Barney to back up the middle infield, whose salary the Cubs are already paying. Fontenot’s inproving performance indicates that he is more willing to work better with Castro than Theriot does, and he has a better arm and UZR. If they want Castro to realize his potential, they should find a new infield for Theriot.
I’m not a huge Theriot fan, but I seriously doubt he’s sabotaging Castro or the team. Also, I’m not sure how he would accomplish that. Pour Gatorade on his glove? Insert lead rods into his bats? Dress up like Papa Shango and put a voodoo hex on him?
I need to know.
“for a while I thought Fontenot had an empty BA, but he has improved since the Castro call-up…”
Improving performance? Since the Castro call-up Fontenot has all of 10 PA, one of which he miraculously hit a HR in. That isn’t improvement though, that’s a lack of playing time with a bit of luck…
Point is, Theriot still believes that if he can show that he is better than Castro, or that Castro sucks, he will return to short, and send Castro back to AA. Instead of being grateful the he has a starting gig at a position where the Cubs won’t try to replace him, he considers himself to have been upstaged by Castro, and his resentment is visible. It can’t be helping the morale of the team, which has lost every game he has started since the call-up. The other players, including Fontenot, who really got the short end of the stick, have welcomed Castro, and are helping him. The Cubs would be better off with the less reliable Fontenot, who is trying to make the best of the situation, than with the sulking Theriot. And, of course, it was Theriot who asked to be traded.
Does Theriot think stupid Cubs fans will like him less if he plays second as opposed to short? Because our moron fanbase ain’t gonna do that.
Theriot hates to lose, and he called Hendry’s bluff twice this year, once in arbitration, and once in Spring Training, when he told the media that Castro should “come and try to get it” (shortstop). He lost both times. Hendry does the same thing. He said Castro was being brought in to improve defense at shortstop. That probably will happen, but Hendry should not have said that until it was accomplished. So if it happens, Theriot will have lost 3 times. His bluster puts him in win-lose situations. Guys like Fontenot, who don’t brag, and are careful what they say, can appear to be winners even if they get the short end of the stick. Theriot’s glass , where the beer is about 1 inch from the top,is half empty, and Fontenots glass, which contains only a couple of sips of beer, is half full. A guy who shows a positive attitude helps his team more than one says the right things to the media, but sulks.
Not to change the subject from our crappy infielders, but why the hell are people in the bleachers asking Tom Ricketts for his autograph? Am I the only one who thinks that’s retarded?
Are we sure Theriot has bluster? Are you sure that’s not a booster seat to make him feel taller? As for Ricketty Cricket’s autograph, maybe it’s a contract that forces him to give away Ameritrade stock?
Theriot may have many shortcomings, but he does not appear to be short. He is at least 4 inches taller than Fontenot.. Again, that half-full glass He thinks of himself as short. Fontenot claims to be almost as tall as his team mates.
Theriot may have many shortcomings, but he does not appear to be short. He is at least 4 inches taller than Fontenot.. Again, that half-full glass He thinks of himself as short.. He would like to be cute, but just isn’t.
And thanks for posting the Sammi Salo video – not only did he get it in the nuts, the Canucks again stepped into a right hook from the Blackhawks. God, this team never fails to underwhelm in the post-season.