Hire Jim Essian

Signs appear to be pointing toward Tom Gorzelanny getting demoted to the bullpen once Carlos Zambrano returns to the rotation. Randy Wells, however, has a fair amount of experience as a reliever, he's right-handed, and he just got lit up by the Cardinals this afternoon. Fukudome! VS. Tom Gorzelanny Randy Wells ... Read More

Hello again, gangsters! It's been a while since the Comment of the Week. But I'm not going to apologize, because it'll almost definitely happen again. This Comment of the Week comes from this week's Muskbox. I believe we have a first-time winner. Mike Fontenot in A Few Good Fontenots writes: Because deep down, in places you don�t talk ... Read More

Okay, sad sacks. Since I know you really only follow this team to complain about us, I have some bad news for you. We might not be as terrible as you think we are. Everyone was saying this stretch of games against the Phillies, Rangers, Dodgers, and Cardinals was going to kill us. We're 5-3 so ... Read More

I feel like I've seen this image from last night's game before. I can't quite put my finger on it. Oh, well. It'll come to me. ... Read More

Folks, we have reached a new low, even by Muskbox standards. Someone actually took the time to write in and complain about Starlin Castro. Starlin is currently sporting an excellent .328/.386/.469 line. As Dolan recently pointed out, he has reached base at least once in every single game he's played. All seventeen of them. He ... Read More

Anything that the Cubs do to me is really my fault. I'm the one who purchases tickets for Cubs games. I'm the one who wastes his time writing a blog about them. I'm the one who apologizes to my friends for them when they drink to much and hit me in the face. But it's still ... Read More

Everyone is talking about it this morning, so we might as well get on the bandwagon. The Lost series finale last night sucked. It was (SPOILERS!) two-and-a-half hours of people recognizing one another, then a plug got pulled, Locke bled, the plug got put back, and everything was okay. There were so many unanswered questions, and the ... Read More

The image to your right is just one of the many amazing/infuriating ones you'll find among these 10 years of Ronnie Woo photographs. (HT: Luis) The pictures reveal the answers to so many mysteries. Did you know Ronnie has a daughter? Did you know he's never been sober? Did you know he likes to chase ... Read More

It's true. I regularly listen to Mully and Hanley in the morning. I really like Mike Mulligan, even though he is The Frightener. Brian Hanley annoys the shit out of me, but at least he's not Dan McNeil or Matt Spiegel (seriously, how is that a real show?). Unfortunately, when either Mully or Hanley are out, ... Read More

Apparently, the Cubs have agreed to terms with Bob Howry. Unless the terms are, "We will give you $100 if you never pitch for us ever again," this is just another stupid move to throw on the ever-growing pile. Presumably, the plan is to stretch him out so he can join the rotation instead of Carlos Zambrano. ... Read More