Clearly this makes sense. Z usually sucks the most in his first 2 innings of pitching. Why not harness that into something slightly better than Jeff Samardzija?

Why does Lou seem to want me to honestly hate this team?

If this lasts longer than week, it will be looked back upon as the most retarded embarassment to a franchise steeped in a 7 decade funk of retarded embarassment since the College of Coaches.

US Today confirmed it
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2010/04/cubs-moving-carlos-zambrano-to-bullpen/1

How in the name of Zeus’s aching asshole is this a good plan? First, you’re gonna piss the big guy off. Uh, no one remembers what he did to Michael Barrett? Second, while Zambrano isn’t as good as Ted Lilly has been the past two years, he’s still 100 fucking times better than Tom Gorezellany and Carlos Silva, even if the current numbers don’t tell that story. He’s better than Randy Wells and in a playoff game, I would go to Carlos to get the job done before ever trusting Shecky Dempster. I am fucking speechless. And let’s say he demands a trade and the Cubs acquiesce. You will have traded Carlos Zambrano so that you can KEEP Tom Gorzellany AND Carlos Silva in your rotation. Are you FUCKING crazy!?!

I never had the Cubs pegged as anything higher than a second place team. Yeah, they’ve been shitty. But we’re not even out of motherfucking APRIL yet. The Cubs need to score runs and they need the bullpen to hold the few leads they’ve managed to scratch out. Putting Zambrano in the ‘pen is highly unlikely to aid in either cause. As a sinkerballer, Zambrano sometimes takes an inning to settle in. He’s a big Venezuelan Derek Lowe. As a relief pitcher, I see a recipe for disaster. Fuck this fucking team.

Where’s the drinking bleach? I’m all out of the cleaning kind….

You f’ing kidding me? Might as well make Z the new SS as well.

@ ryan beariot ahahahah

This makes no fucking sense which is why I am starting to believe. WTF!?!

No, wait, I figured it out! It’s just like moving Smoltz to the bullpen! Only in this case, Carlos didn’t have Tommy John surgery, he wasn’t sucking as a starter and spending huge quantities of time on the DL, and our closer wasn’t a gigantic racist who was traded for Dave Elder.

Otherwise, just like it!

Now, who will be giving Fontenot piggyback rides?

Wow.
The Cubs aren’t even out of April yet.
This team is abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous.
At least we can look forward to Starlin Castro and his reg’lar size arms, right?

Bright side:

At least this isn’t happening in a season when we actually thought we had a fucking chance.

I know the Cubs had no chance this year, but this is still dumb on an epic scale. If they weren’t already, other teams are now laughing their collective asses off at how this team is run.

Try getting a quality starter to sign with this team now. It’s gonna be in the back of their mind that: “Hey, if I struggle for a year, I might get bumped to the bullpen four starts into the new season. Maybe I shouldn’t sign with the Cubs.” I would rather have seen them sign Braden Looper and stick him in there in the 8th then to do this. At least both my fantasy baseball leagues track holds, so I guess that’s something, provided Zambrano can be effective out of the pen at all.

Remember when I announced that our closer Dempster would join the the rotation and changed my mind the next day? This is just like that! Only more senile…