Hire Jim Essian

Okay, everyone ignore baseball until the Blackhawks are done winning the Stanley Cup. That's what I'm going to do. If you want to read about hockey, check out Hockee Night or Second City Hockey. If you want to read about baseball, you're probably chained to a bedframe right now with your testicles wired to a car battery. ... Read More

The Zambrano move to the bullpen is impressive for being such a horrific idea that outside of Chicago it's received very little press considering how ridiculous it is.� I guess there's little angle for discussion past a "witty" headline or two when basically every single view point (basic statistics, advanced sabermetrics, historical usage, salary efficiency, common sense) all show that ... Read More

There are times when the lede of an article is so cornily stupid, that it makes me question the existence of a loving God. Times when the lede is so embarrassingly awful to read, that I as a blogger don't even care what the rest of the article is about. I just know that I have to fisk ... Read More

Well, the Cubs finally broke Lou Piniella's brain. After yesterday's loss, George Castle asked Lou a reasonable question about whether Lou considered bunting Marlon Byrd to third base with no outs in the bottom of the 8th inning while trailing by a run. Bunting in that situation is a completely reasonable baseball strategy that would have made perfect ... Read More

George Will was on Mully and Hanley this morning talking baseball. It sounded like he was wearing a bow tie, so I'll just assume he was. Anyhow, baseball's geekiest advocate was talking about divisional realignment, the Bears (why?), and baseball's stupidest new idea. Since they can't be bothered to win World Championships (2005: ALWAYS FORGET), the Cubs ... Read More

Oh, how typical. The second I switch allegiances to the Twins, good things start happening to the Cubs. They go up to Milwaukee and absolutely annihilate the Brewers. Plus, a drunken Chad plummets to his near-death while trying to catch a batting practice foul ball, the rarest of rare foul balls. (HT: Grow Stubs Grow and ... Read More

I don't know what's happening at all. I was minding my own business yesterday, watering my grass when a couple of idiots jumped out of a van, threw a canvas sack over my head, and kidnapped me! I woke up in a windowless, locked room with a computer called up to this idiot site. The words, "CHOOSE ... Read More

Ahoy, there, Cubs fans! I hear a fair number of you are considering jumping ship after your manager inexplicably moved one of his best starters to the bullpen. Well, far be it from me to try to sway you one way or another, but up here in Minnesota, we have a new ballpark, one of the most exciting ... Read More

My brain is still reeling over yesterday's decision to send Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen. Whether you love Zambrano (like Dolan) or don't (like me), you'd be a total fucking idiot to like this idea. In the Zambrano post, paintersix (sorry to pick on you) said, "I think it's a terrible idea but .....if it works were all ... Read More

No, not Silva. Zambrano. Seriously, according to our GOOD FRIEND PAUL SULLIVAN. I'm stunned. ... Read More