Where were you on March 9, 2007? Were you still celebrating the non-firing “firing” of Dusty Baker and the hiring of Lou Piniella? Were you toasting Juan Pierre‘s departure from the North Side of Chicago? Were you excited about the budding friendship between pitcher Carlos Zambrano and catcher Michael Barrett? The acquisitions of Alfonso Soriano and Cliff Floyd? Were you desperately searching for nude pictures of new utility man Mark DeRosa? Or new pinch hitter Daryle Ward?
Maybe you weren’t thinking about the Cubs at all. Maybe you were pouring out a bottle of Boone’s Farm in memory of Ernest Gallo. Or for Bam Bam Bigelow. Or Anna Nicole Smith.
Or maybe you were wandering about the darkest corners of the internet. And maybe, in one of those corners so dark that the light cannot even penetrate it, you stumbled upon a poorly-formatted and even more-poorly-written Cubs blog called Hire Jim Essian (f/k/a Fire Lou Piniella). If you don’t know the history, it was the unsinkable incomparable TJ Brown who first suggested the Hire Jim Essian brand that has grown into a mighty empire.
Since HJE’s birth, there have been several facelifts, a couple of different commenting systems, a trillion words written in the Shoutbox, and even the occasional article. Happy third birthday, HJE. I’m fond of you, old boy.

I want cake
Stop blaming me, however indirectly, for this shit.
I’m still looking for naked pictures of Mark DeRosa.
And maybe, in one of those corners so dark that the light cannot even penetrate it
Enough with the Daryle Ward fantasies.
3 years old and still breastfeeding?
More Dick jokes please.
Luckiest dude ever or luckiest guy ever?
You still write articles? Awesome.
Happy Birthday to your:
-Fading Star Spinoff
-House of Lies
-VERY GOOD FRIEND PAUL SULLIVAN protective haven
-House of Ill Repute
-Dark Corner of the Internet
-shit for brains site
Looking forward to 3 more years of more of the same.
Congrats, BK.
There are articles? Where?
It’s either cake or cock, and I don’t want any cock.
No mention of our progressively less awful softball teams?!?
I’m starting to think you’re ashamed of us.
@CT – We lost Joe and Matt this summer. We’re back to awful.
It’s been 3 years? And Jim Essian is this much closer to getting rehired, I hope!
I’ve been reading this site for only 3 years? It feels like an eternity.
I still have unhealthy, impure thoughts about nuns. But not as often, thanks to the wellbutrin. We all change some. Congrats, Bad.
Happy birthday, you fucking SELLOUT.
The hell with Mark DeRosa…I’m looking for naked pics of Neifi!
Congrats, Kerm.
Congrats, Kermit, well done. Also, I think you guys should squeeze out another podcast, it’s been too long.
March 9, 2007? I was at work/home in Indianapolis mourning the 10th anniversary of Notorious B.I.G’s murder. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Kerm stole Biggie’s anniversary for himself? That’s some coldhearted shit right there.
Next comment scheduled for 3/10/2011.
This website sucks more dick than Thrill on an apple martini bender
Holy cow, I WAS wandering the darkest corners of the internets in my usual offseason funk, dismally hunting for a Cubs fix anywhere I could get it, when I stumbled upon Fire Lou Piniella about two weeks before Jim was introduced. And I’ve been here every day since. Really nice job Kerm, keep it up.
Happy third anniversary cocksuckers.
Hope you all burn in hell.