At long last, social networking has paid off. Ozzie Guillen has a Twitter feed. It’s just as enlightening as you could expect it to be with tweets like, “what I saw on the field today was a lot of grass…” But what truly amazed me was that Guillen actually truly doesn’t understand English. I always assumed when he said things like, “3 day of Spring Training and im already boreddddddd,” he actually knew that the word was “days,” but just clipped it off because of his accent. Nope.

In Guillen-speak, the word “not” doesn’t exist, and there is no way of making adjectives into nouns. If you don’t mind the brutal dismemberment of the English language, I strongly suggest following Guillen on Twitter this year. I cannot wait until the White Sox’s first five-game skid.