I apologize for the tardiness of the Muskbox. I was under the weather yesterday and reading this week’s Muskbox could have only made matters worse. Why? Well, because it spends a significant amount of time fretting about the hurt feelings of Ryan Theriot. And that’s- That’s- Excuse me.
/runs to bathroom
With Ryan Theriot having gone to arbitration, will this affect how he plays in the 2010 season and his future with the Cubs with talk of Starlin Castro taking over at shortstop?
– Jason A., Lansing, Ill.
What sort of immature spaz would actually allow the threat of a young prospect and a disagreement over contract value to affect his play? Maybe the sort that drives around in an INVISIBLE RACECAR!
Or, perhaps, the sort that thinks it’s completely normal to ask a beat writer to play soothsayer about the future of a munchkin.
CARRIE: The decision shouldn’t have any effect on how Theriot plays. Theriot has said he’s eager to put the hearing behind him and focus on the season. He didn’t seem bothered by the arbitrator’s decision and even though he lost, he will still receive a pretty significant raise from the $500,000 he got in 2009 to $2.6 million.
When asked about the significance of the raise, Theriot held up eight fingers and yelled, “I GET THIS MANY MORE DOLLARS!”
CARRIE: As for Castro, he’s expected to open the season in the Minor Leagues. The reason he’s included in big league camp is so Lou Piniella and the staff can get a better feel for the 19-year-old shortstop.
CARRIE: Theriot has heard all the talk about Castro, too.
Because he has Spy Gear. HE KNOWS.
CARRIE: “As it is now, I am the shortstop and I have been for three years,” Theriot said. “I feel I’ve done a good job and he’s going to have to come get it.”
“And when he does, I’m going to take my ball and go home, and then NO ONE will be able to play shortstop!”
Now that the Cubs have completed the arbitration hearing with Theriot, I was wondering what the Cubs’ payroll is going into the season. How does that compare to other teams and how does that compare to years past?
– Justin J., Greendale, Wis.
George Lucas is worth more than $3.5 billion. Worth does not quality make.
CARRIE: With the addition of Theriot’s salary, the Cubs’ payroll is slightly over $140 million, which would be the highest in franchise history. Last year, the club’s payroll was $134,809,000, which ranked third highest in baseball behind the New York Yankees ($201 million-plus) and New York Mets ($136 million). The 2010 team rankings won’t be official until the 25-man rosters are set.
…which is why every single person in the Mets’ front office and the Cubs’ front office was fired in the offseason. What’s that? They weren’t? Well, that just seems like those franchises are stupid, then. What’s that? They are?
I read the article that said since Kosuke Fukudome will be playing right field all the time, that it would help him at the plate, but the article didn’t explain why. Can you elaborate?
Right field is by far the easiest position to play at Wrigley. Therefore, Kosuke will be able to focus all of his energy on hitting.
Also, will Fukudome take hitting instruction from his Japanese hitting coach or from Rudy Jaramillo?
– Wade T., Flora, Miss.
Neither. He’ll take them from these people.
CARRIE: Imagine if you reported to work today…
You lost me already.
CARRIE: …and someone told you that your duties had changed — not significantly, but they had changed.
“Carrie, instead of picking a bunch of terrible questions and providing non-answers to them, we want you to pick GOOD questions, research them, ask the team about them, and provide informative answers.”
CARRIE: Dealing with the new assignment plus still getting acclimated to the U.S. was a lot for Fukudome.
In 2008.
CARRIE: Think about how many near collisions there were in the gaps as Fukudome tried to handle center.
“Mine!” is the most difficult English phrase to learn, followed by, “Oh, shit! Get out of the way!”
CARRIE: Right field at Wrigley is one of the toughest to play, and he handled that extremely well. Talking to Fukudome so far this spring, he seems more relaxed.
I would greatly enjoy watching a conversation between Carrie, Fukudome, and a translator.
CARRIE: The fans want to know if your blue shoes are the cause of your problems at the plate.
TRANSLATOR: (In Japanese) She just asked if your shoes are distracting you at the plate.
FUKUDOME: (death stare) …
TRANSLATOR: (In Japanese) Seriously, she did.
FUKUDOME: (In Japanese) Tell her I’ve never been around more ridiculous people than Cubs fans, and I’m from Japan.
TRANSLATOR: (In English) He says that he hopes to blog about this season, and will discuss what it’s like to wear blue shoes every day.
FUKUDOME: (death stare) …
TRANSLATOR: (In English) And that he wishes you would go talk to Ryan Theriot about what hair products he uses.
FUKUDOME: (In Japanese) You’re fired.
CARRIE: He’d like to bat .300 this year, and that’s a good goal to have.
So is batting 1.000.
CARRIE: His Japanese hitting coach will be here this spring but he is willing to work with Jaramillo.
Why would Fukudome’s hitting coach work on Jaramillo’s swing- Oh, I get it.
I saw Ted Lilly’s statement about Jaramillo getting him “locked in at the plate.” That made me wonder, since Rudy has never had pitchers hit in the American League, will he work with them now or leave that to Larry Rothschild?
– Harrison N., Indianapolis
As a follow-up question, since Jim Hendry has never learned portion control, is he going to do that now, or is he going to leave that to Carlos Silva?
CARRIE: Actually, Jaramillo has worked with pitchers, both in Houston and with the Rangers who had to hit in Interleague games played in National League ballparks. “I like working with pitchers,” Jaramillo said.
Great quote.
But you forgot the ending. “…because expectations are so low. I mean, seriously. I was a hitting coach in one of the best hitters’ parks in the MLB. I can’t be expected to make Mike Fontenot not suck.”
I thought Jeff Stevens pitched pretty good in the time he was up in the Majors last year. Any chance he makes the team out of Spring Training?
– Tyler W., Louisville, Neb.
WELL. He pitched pretty WELL. The Muskbox is not a place for such savagery.
CARRIE: Sure, Stevens is in the mix. Sorting out who’s in the bullpen will be key this spring. The Cubs are looking for a right-handed setup pitcher…
What that is, is hard to define.
CARRIE: …and Stevens joins Esmailin Caridad, Angel Guzman, Justin Berg, Jeff Gray, Rafael Dolis and Mike Parisi as candidates. It’s a little early to put odds on any of them.
But if you WERE going to put odds on any of them, you’d probably put the best odds on Angel Guzman, who was arguably the best reliever on the team last year, and who keeps inexplicably getting demoted in everyone’s minds.
Have you heard much regarding Rule 5 Draft pick Michael Parisi’s chances of actually sticking with the club and contributing?
Short answer? Of course she hasn’t.
Last year, it seemed as if Lou had his hands tied with David Patton. Also, can Patton be sent down to the Minors this year without offering him back?
– Steve B., Marion, Iowa
Unfortunately, yes.
CARRIE: Parisi’s situation is different than Patton’s. Parisi actually has pitched in the big leagues, appearing in 12 games in 2008 with the St. Louis Cardinals. Patton had not pitched above Class A when he was selected in the Rule 5 Draft.
And you could hardly even tell!
CARRIE: And yes, Patton can be sent down to the Minors now and stay with the Cubs.
Can he be sent down to the minors and stay with the Cardinals instead?
I’ve been talking with some friends, and as incompetent as we are, the Mets are WAYYYY worse. Bengie Molina took less money to play in San Fran, Luis Castillo is old as crap, their first baseman can’t hit, Beltran is about to start getting old and slow, Jeff Francouer sucks, and that’s just the hitters! K Rod is getting old and crappier, they have no staff besides Santana, and if I recall correctly, they never gave Putz a physical before signing him. The Mets make Jim Hendry look like the smartest man in baseball, and I didn’t even mention their crappy park that killed all their power. In 5 years, we’ll be rid of Fukudome, Silva, Mike Fontenot, Soriano, and the rest of our debts and problem cases (granted, for all new problems, but still…) but the Mets are gonna suck 5 years from now as well.
Which is all just a nice way of saying that I don’t want to think about our team right now.
@Ryan Beariot – Your lucky, I cant stop thinking about our team. It’s gonna be a long year.
I can’t believe this. They actually project, on the team website, that Carlos Silva will be the fifth starter. Are we, the fans, clamoring about that? No. Are we protesting in the street? No. We are asking about Ryan Theriot’s feelings….?!?. No wonder we suck.
@paintersix – well, if we base the talent of a player on how popular he is, Ryan Theriot is theoretically greater than Pujols. Because of his intangibles you know. Like that intangible race car he’s driving.
And I see Silva listed 7th, below even Samardzija. My theory is that Carlos Silva is going to become this year’s David Patton. Hey, we’re up/down 12 runs. Throw Silva out there!
As for the team, I have to admit that I’m starting to get cautiously optimistic, mainly because of the fact that the rest of our division sucks. I mean, let’s throw out the Pirates and Astros by the sheer fact that they’re terrible. I could dismiss them with a better argument, but they barely deserve it.
As for the Brewers, Fielder, Braun, and garbage. Matt Gamel defensively makes Adam Dunn look like Ozzie Smith. And if they play Casey McGehee, well then we’re even better off. Corey Hart sucks, and Rickie Weeks is a constant injury risk. Escobar is a rookie so he might struggle. As for their pitching, Yovani Gallardo COULD take a step forward, especially under the tutelage of the “great” Randy Wolf. That is, assuming Randy Wolf isn’t on the DL for a large chunk of the year, like in 2007 or 2008. And that bullpen? Todd Coffey, Claudio Vargas, and LaTroy Hawkins leading into Trevor Hoffman, who I don’t expect to keep a resurgance at the age of 47. Milwaukee will fail again.
And the Cardinals? Holliday, Pujols, and crap. Yadier Molina and Skip Schumaker can hit .300. great. doesn’t give them any power to go along with it. Ryan Ludwick is on the downswing of his crappy career path, their starting 3b is a 27 year old strikeout prone rookie, and I’m willing to bet that Holliday has a down year, especially after we start chanting all sorts of things about trying to catch the ball with his balls. I suggest something nutcracker suite related, but that’s me. As for their pitching, yeah, no chance Chris Carpenter gets hurt again, no, he’s been such a rock for their staff! As for Wainwright, I’m sure adding in a 100 more innings between 2008 and 2009 while leading the NL in IP isn’t going to hurt his arm. And Kyle Lohse had one good year, 2008, and I’m relatively sure Brad Penny doesn’t have a chin to go along with his relatively mediocre abilities. It’s a meh bullpen as well.
With a little luck and some good years from the shmoes we’re paying, we totally have a chance to make it to the playoffs and lose in the first round again.
@Ryan Beariot – I want to be good enough to lose in the second round, it just gets your hopes up that much more before crushing your soul
@Santo10 – Isn’t that the dream? Getting so close and then losing? Heck, I’m not sure I even want a World Series championship, cause then I wouldn’t be able to say “Wait Til Next Year” any more. Ideally, we should lose in game 7 of the world series. That’s the best way to create misery and suicidal tendencies.
@Ryan Beariot – Yeah, that should do it. Even better: losing in game seven after winning the first three games. Its the bottom of the 9th and Jeff Samardzija/Carlos Silva gives up a walk-off grand slam to A-Rod.
@Santo10 – ARod? Nah, there’s plenty more soul crushing. Pierzynski, now THAT’S how you destroy the souls of all involved. Or Juan Pierre. Yeah, I think Juan Pierre might do it.
@Ryan Beariot – Neifi Perez during his triumphant return to the majors.
@Ryan Beariot – I agree with your assessment. Mostly. The NL Central is so mired in parity that its not even funny. Pretty much all the teams have enough “potential talent” to take it, but that talent usually isn’t realized in any given season. For instance, I look at the Astros: Oswalt and Wandy are solid, Berkman will probably bounce back, Bourn is a scary speed threat, and my guess is Hunter Pence will be this years Mark Reynolds, but the team will still probably go nowhere. The Reds would probably be pretty good if they didn’t have a complete fucking moron managing the team. The Brewers are scrappy enough to stay in it for a while, and Braun and Fielder still haven’t peaked, which is a scary thought. The Cards got lucky in the second half of last season; I doubt the stars will allign in such a way again where all their best players are healthy and operating at peak efficiency.
It’s really anyone’s NLDS to lose right now.
Singing the Lollipop Guild song when Fontenot came up would be great!
Why do I do that every time? I say Fontenot when I mean Theriot.
It’s some kind of affliction, I’m sure.