As you know, I love being right at the absolute forefront of all your base are belong to us internet memes, so when I saw that Google mining became popular about six months ago, I jumped right on that trend! Some of the things you can learn about people from their Google habits should not be learned. And some definitely should.

Let’s get things started with something simple. Certainly, people will have some interesting, relevant questions about the Cubs the answers to which can only be discovered via Google.





I like to think that the people who Googled whether the Cubs were in the playoffs were the same people who, frustrated that a big screen that just said “YES” or “NO” didn’t pop up, angrily Googled whether or not they were in the 2009 playoffs. As for the last question, you read that right. They didn’t ask if the Cubs were in the NL Central. Just whether they were in the National League. I suspect 80% of these people are actually Cubs fans. Egads.




  1. Yes.
  2. Yes.
  3. God, no.
  4. Make you lose interest in baseball by August.
  5. No one worth Googling, I can assure you.

I was surprised to learn that Lou is not as popular as I perceive him to be.





Even those fans who claim to know Lou don’t REALLY know him.





Although I hear he rolls a mean crepe.

What do people want to know about the Cubs’ color commentary?





Congratulations, Ron. Your petulant screaming will be remembered long after you are. Speaking of color, what about one of the most popular Cubs of all time?





At least Sammy is having a better year than his fellow mutant home run hitter.





I’m sure McGwire will run a nice, clean program in St. Louis. I’m sure I’m just being a bitter Cubs fan when I suspect Tony LaRussa of encouraging his players to “enhance” their “performance” with “drugs.”





Chip Caray is apparently so awful, people are enraged to the point where they use Boolean connectors in their Google searches.





I don’t suggest running a Google Image Search with that second suggestion. I’ve never heard of this Chip Caray character, anyhow.





Certainly, there are a bunch of things you’d want to know about Ryne Sandberg. Will he be the next Cubs manager? Where can I find the transcript of his Hall of Fame speech? Where does he rank on the list of greatest second basemen of all time?

Nope.





At least Ryno wasn’t the object of more fashion speculation than your average Muskbox. OR WAS HE?





I bet you didn’t realize that Rafael Palmeiro liked eating corn so much.

Finally, I’m guessing I owe Jim Essian an apology. Sorry, Skip.





Can any of you guys mine anything interesting that I missed?