Call me what you will, but I miss the hell ouf of John McDonough. The former Cubs president and marketing stud left the organization in 2007 to resurrect the Blackhawk franchise, and the Cubs have suffered for his departure. If you’re on the Cubs’ season ticket waiting list, you may have noticed that each year, you get offered a ticket package, which you can purchase before tickets go on sale to the general public. If you hate virtual waiting rooms as much as Jim Hendry hates calisthenics, you might have even purchased one of these packages. Yeah, I fell for that, too. Two years ago, the Cubs offered a nine-game package. Last year, they offered a thirteen-game package. Yesterday, I received an oh-so-generous e-mail offer to purchase a 2010 “Starting 9″ Ticket Pack.
Below is the e-mail I received.
Looks great, right? At 10:00 this morning, I could be the proud holder of tickets to three Cardinals games, a White Sox game, an Angels game, a Phillies game, and a Mets game. All on Friday afternoons. Excellent!
But, wait a minute. This seems far too good to be true. What does that sentence right before the list of games say? “The Starting 9 Ticket Pack will provide you with an opportunity to select and purchase nine (9) home games from a variety of home game choices including…”
Last year, that meant that, of the thirteen games I was able to choose, approximately four of them were good, five of them were mediocre, and four of them were Wednesday afternoon games against the Marlins. But, hello! Look at the line below the list of games! “Starting at 10 a.m. CT tomorrow, you can purchase up to six tickets for each of these nine games.” How can “these nine games” mean anything but the games right above the sentence? Hooray! This time is different! The Cubs can change if I just love them enough! These bruises on my arms will heal! So, I clicked the link. And it brought me to the following.
You did it again, you dicks. That sure doesn’t look like nine good games. I can get either a Cardinals game or a Sox game from the first block. Then any two of the Cardinals, Angels, Phillies, or Mets. Then, crap. The Astros? The Brewers? The Giants? I’m thrilled.
Moreover, look at the dates of these games. There’s an awful lot of April and May up there. An awful lot. In fact, I’m beginning to suspect that the Cubs are pawning off a bunch of their shitty games on me just so I can avoid a virtual waiting room. In gratitude for my purchase, not only will I get nine ugly Tickets.com tickets instead of the far prettier tickets from the ticket window, but I’ll also be forced to pay a service and handling fee for every single ticket I purchase.
Kiss my ass, Cubs. Don’t hold your breath for me to show up at 10:00 this morning.
You’re right, they should bring back John McDonough, the man who brought us Beanie Babies, blue jersey tops, the chance for your dad to blow out his Achilles in the outfield on an off day and eight years of Alfonso Soriano.
Did you ever think that maybe the Cubs do love you, and the reason they have so many games against shitty teams on your little menu there is so that you can see them win? Holy crap, it couldn’t be more obvious, they are thinking only of you. They want you to be happy!
I love these guys. I can’t wait to rip off my shirt Friday night and hug the shit out of Crane Kenney.
Tickets from this package last year proved to be almost impossible to unload because not only are the games crappy, but the seats are all in upper parts of the 500 section. Contrary to what Crane Kenney may believe about the robust secondary ticket market, when I say “unload,” I do not mean “sell for profit.” I mean, “get face value,” and in many cases, “give away for free.”
We will also not be biting on this hook again. Maybe if we also got a free Smarjy the Shark Beanie Baby.
Wait, you don’t want to take a day off of work to see them play the Washington Nationals? That game’s gonna be a sell out and now you will wait for hours in the virtual waiting room just for the hope of getting one.
“You did it again, you dicks”
Tea just went up my nose. Thanks a lot.
You should buy a 9-game package for Skip. I’m sure he’d be willing to at least go halvsies with you.
Hahahaha….”master bait”…..like masturbate…..hahahahahahhahaha.
“There’s an awful lot of April and May up there.”
Agree with 424 here. Be thankful, they are selling you tickets for games when the team will still have hope and against clubs they might actually be able to beat. The roster will probably be healthy, the player lines will still be inflated and there wouldn’t have been enough time for us to fall too far out of first.
Chicago games after the break verses good teams? Why bother suffering through the disappointment…
And yet if I lived in Chicago I’d still probably buy the package… and go to those shitty games. Oh the life of a Cubs fan.
I actually bought the package and to my shock I snagged all 200 level infield terrace reserved, even for the Sox and Cardinals game I selected. Are there just not enough people buying this thing?
@Krish – It’s not so much the location of the seats. Good seats are usually pretty readily available. It’s the game selection. Of the 13 games I had last year, I’d say 8 or 9 of them were played in either uncomfortably cold weather or against terrible opponents. Sometimes, both.
I fell for that last year…not this year. Jerks.
You could take a chance and take the two Diamondback games, two Giants games, a Brewers game and then you’re only stuck with one complete loser.
The Giants and Diamondbacks could be good this year, the Brewers are always interesting.
The point about the games being worthless in September is true, though. The Cubs will probably be well out of it by then and you can get tickets for next to nothing.