Hire Jim Essian

Well, well, well. The two greatest baseball players in Chicago history are finally united in San Francisco. The Giants’ signing of Mark DeRosa unites the stubbly heartthrob with Aaron Rowand, who made ladies swoon over the “run face-first into a wall” move before Reed Johnson thought of it. Thus, the 2010 Giants became an unstoppable juggernaut. It’s been slow around here lately, but all of our New Year’s resolutions are to post more often, finish the damn T79, and just generally be the best damn HJE we can possibly be. Thanks, as always, for the tips. Have a safe and happy New Year’s celebration, and I will see you in 2010.

• The horrifying truth of the Mario Bros. Plumbing Co.
• How much work have YOU gotten done this week?
• It’s the end of another year of failure. What did you miss in 2009 when you were being antisocial? A lot.
• Can you make it all the way through ten minutes of any of these insane videos?
• If you’re bored today, why not find Jesus through Wikipedia?
• If I had a guess, like Joel Quenneville’s mustache and Huey sweat.
• Who would have thought they’d have a low turnout?
• How did the 2004 Cubs not make the playoffs again? Oh, right. LaTroy.
• Two of your favorite things, The A-Team and Star Wars before it sucked, get mashed up.
  
• If you’re like me, you might still have Christmas cards rolling in. If only they were all this entertaining.
• The article is nothing special, but I have to admit that I laughed out loud at this headline.
• All this talk of Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, and Brittany Murphy has me longing for the simpler death of a Gary Gygax. (HT: CT)
• If you’re one of the millions of people playing Farmville every day, you might enjoy this. (HT: Brant)
  

That’s it for me, kids. Everyone be careful tomorrow night. Champagne can make you do some strange things, like sign Aaron Miles.

-Sweet Uncle Lou