And I have an idea. We should all get together and have a trophy made for this wonderful Lifetime Achievement award Pierre received. It could have a little leaguer (in bunting stance ideally) standing on top of a baseball with a huge hole drilled through it. We can present it to him on opening day :)

Yeah, but let’s compare hitters, completely unobjectively because i’m not pulling up baseballreference.com. if you want to later destroy my writing, go ahead, i may even reconsider. We’re doing hitters because that’s where most of my disgust at that team appears, and they havent really changed any pitchers enough for me to care.

players who stayed on the team who suck:
AJ Pierzynski – wait, that shithead hit 300? as a 33 year old catcher? I’m calling bullshit on that one, because fuck that guy.
Alexei Ramirez – He’s good, but he didn’t save my fantasy team. So fuck that guy too. He also lost his power (2b and hr were down) and his ability to hit the ball (avg too)
Gordon Beckham – mediocre 2b who hit double digit home runs and (if my memory serves me correctly) a shithead haircut. 500 ABs gives you 18 HR which while it would be great if WE could get a 2b able to do that, it’s not the next coming of Ryne Sandberg. the reason it’s not is because those other at bats came from Jayson Nix. The white sox now have 2 mediocre to good 2b when they need one. And they can’t play either of them at third, more on that later. Meanwhile, we get fontenot. Once again, fuck those guys, and that includes fontenot for the hell of it.
Mark Kotsay – I’m lazy, he sucks. Next player please!
Paul Konerko – does not suck, but the fact that he didnt get 100 RBIs, nor did Dye – yeah, that team sucks.
Carlos Quentin- injured, was good two years ago. let’s see if he still is. am i taking him in a fantasy league? not this upcoming year, i’ll let someone else bite that bullet.

players they lost and who’s replacing them:
JIM THOME becomes Andruw Jones: There is not a single year in the entirety of baseball where I would replace Thome with Jones. Even during Jones’s 4-5 good years at the turn of the century, Thome was better. And I like Thome as a person, because he’s a Cub fan and because he didnt eat his way out of a job. Jones, meanwhile, hit 214 and that was a giant improvement for him. No thank you to that fat load of crap.
Scott Podsednik being replaced by Juan Pierre – you took the one the fans liked, who was goodish, and hit a few HR (which cellular field helps i bet) and replaced him with Juan Pierre, who hits 1 HR a year. same number of stolen bases, and monetarily it ain’t worth it.
Josh Fields becomes Mark Teahen – monetarily, not the best of plans. choose the young guy who had a good season two years ago or the older guy who has been shipped around the field more times than Mark Derosa. “I’m a second baseman!” yeah, whatever, Teahen. But the real reason this is bad is because you replace Beckham (who thanks to wikipedia I learned played 3rd for most of the year when he got back) with Teahen. At best, Teahen will hit 20 HR. And if he does, it’s a miracle. most likely, 15. congrats, you just paid for a broken year from aramis ramirez. granted, Nix has a terrible average, but he’s also young and i’m willing to bet if he had coaching and regular playing time, he could be good. but they won’t, so he won’t.
Dewayne Wise/Jermayne Dye becomes alex rios – well wise sucked hard and is only known for that one catch, and dye is decent, even though i hate him. that doesnt mean rios is a good idea. he hits like shit, his power is dropping, as are his stolen bases, and they have him signed for how many more years now?

granted, the OF switch is not as noticeable…but they took jermayne dye, jim thome, and scott podsednik (essentially 57 HR, 30 SB) and replaced it with Juan Pierre, Alex Rios, and Andruw Jones (34 HR and 59 SB). i’m not sure of the exact conversion, but those numbers from the second group are assuming Andruw Jones and Alex Rios don’t get worse next year, which I am not willing to bet on. plus if andruw jones hits 250, it’ll be a miracle.

at best? maybe 2nd place because the AL central sucks. but the twins will take it again i feel.

sorry to rant so much about the white sox, but i really think most of that team is a mess of lazy fat slobs who are only going to get lazier or fatter. That team looks to be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

True fact – the White Sox had the second best ERA in the American League last year.

Hitting was so-so, defense and base running sucked.

Sosa’s meaningless dingers > Pierre’s hollow 200-hit season