Hire Jim Essian

Well, well, well. The two greatest baseball players in Chicago history are finally united in San Francisco. The Giants' signing of Mark DeRosa unites the stubbly heartthrob with Aaron Rowand, who made ladies swoon over the "run face-first into a wall" move before Reed Johnson thought of it. Thus, the 2010 Giants became an unstoppable juggernaut. ... Read More

The Roundup knows if you've been naughty, and it knows if you've been nice. It knows when you are sleeping, and it knows how to undo the lock on your bedroom door with a bobby pin. SLEEP WELL, LITTLE ONES. Since we'll have another early Roundup next week, tips go here. Science explains Milton Bradley's inability to count ... Read More

Last week, we left the Muskbox on a romantic beach stroll with Ryan Theriot. This week, she's dining with Jim Edmonds, praising Scotty Pods, and MURDERING LIVING THINGS. What are the chances of the Cubs looking hard at re-signing Reed Johnson now that Mike Cameron is with the Red Sox? Reed was an absolute asset when healthy. How about finding ... Read More

Did you spend your weekend the same way I did? Sitting in an empty white room, bouncing a tennis ball against a wall and thinking about the Milton Bradley-Carlos Silva trade? No? You went to an ugly Christmas sweater party? Oh. Why the hell are THOSE suddenly popular, by the way? Anyhow, I've come ... Read More

Still fuming over the Milton Bradley-for-Carlos Silva trade? Me TOO! I'm going to throw back a few beers and try to forget that today ever happened. But first, let's toss my two least-favorite people in the world into the HATEUDOME- er, Fukudome! VS. Jim Hendry Carlos Silva ... Read More

Hello, gang! There were a lot of good comments this week, but today's news that Milton Bradley was traded to the Mariners for terrible pitcher Carlos Silva led to a bushel of good nuggets that trumped them all. My favorite one of them all came from paintersix, who had this to say: I think Ricketts is a dumbass as well. I ... Read More

Or: How I Learned to Stop Caring About the Cubs and Hate Jim Hendry. It's almost official. Jim Hendry is about to pull off the most monumentally stupid trade since he traded for Steve Trachsel. It appears that Milton Bradley is headed to the Seattle Mariners in exchange for the amazingly terrible Carlos Silva. (HT: Dolan) ... Read More

Well, well, well. It looks like Tiger Woods has been knocked off his high horse, elevating me back up to the most talented athlete and beloved man of the decade. The line starts behind the shattered heart of Elin Nordegren, ladies. I'm a little late with the Roundup. Deal with it. Tips are always loved. Mike ... Read More

When last we left the Muskbox, it was pining over Ryan Theriot, praising Rudy Jaramillo, discussing the Unfrozen Caveman Outfielder, and blocking out billboards with her icy gaze. I'm pretty sure this week's installment, on the other hand, is a subtle personals ad. Read on! With Ted Lilly having surgery and a question mark on the Cubs' No. 5 ... Read More

As many of you heard last night, Dolan, Chuck, and I made our radio debut on David Kaplan's Sports Central show on WGN 720. If you missed it, and you want to hear the whole thing, thanks to C-C-Cats, it can be found HERE. First, many thanks to David Kaplan. Considering the grief he has taken from ... Read More