Hire Jim Essian

I'm back from my little hiatus, and don't you for one second think the fact that the Muskbox is a week old is going to stop me from fisking it. Because it won't. Have the Cubs considered Fuld to play center field next year? Probably. But this is also a franchise who has considered the following players "able" to play ... Read More

I and the rest of the crack staff at HJE need a little bit of a break to get over the swine writer's block that's going around the offices of HJE Enterprises, Inc. Since this is a short week, anyhow, we're going to take the whole week off, recharge our batteries, and come back refreshed next week. Sweet ... Read More

If there's one thing Jim Hendry is terrific at doing is bidding against himself for the services of his target free agents and then grossly overpaying for them. As Dolan already pointed out, Hendry did it again with this week's signing of John Grabow. I have nothing against Grabow. He's good. Just like Mike Remlinger was ... Read More

As our good friend Paul Sullivan pointed out in his Twitter feed, we're finally down an Aaron (Heilman), and have only Miles left to purge. (HT: Luis) If I didn't think Jim Hendry was going to trade Aramis, Marmol, Lee, Zambrano, and Lilly for Curtis Granderson, I might actually pat him on his pasty white back. As ... Read More

You are in for quite a treat, loyal Muskboxers. I am pretty certain that this week's Muskbox contains the most long-winded narrative answer to ever pour from the bun-based pencil of Carrie herself. I've been reading that the Tigers are putting Curtis Granderson on the trade block. What are the chances the Cubs lure him to Chicago? -- Robert B., Chicago That ... Read More

Oh, good to see you nerds. I figured everyone on the planet, including Chad Ochocinco, is playing Modern Warfare 2. When he's not Tweeting two hundred times a day. Thanks as always for the tips. How many times do you think Hef will get asked, "Do the Bunnies come with the deal?" If you can't afford the Bunnies, certainly ... Read More

There are mysteries which men can only guess at, which age by age they may solve only in part. -Bram Stoker, Dracula Readers, what I am about to reveal my alarm you and offend your sense. It may chill your heart and shock you to your very core. But it is a tale that must be told. A tale ... Read More

On this Veterans Day, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank all of our brave men and women working so hard right now to defend this great country. I'm pretty sure I always screw this up by forgetting someone (if I do, tell me in the comments, and I'll add you, I swear), but in particular I'd like ... Read More

In this week's Muskbox, we speculate on Jeff Samardzija's sexual perversions, we give Reed Johnson the Mark DeRosa treatment, we torment Ed Hartig, and we RUIN WRIGLEY FIELD! What happened to Jeff Samardzija to allow Thomas Diamond to take his spot in Mexico? Is Samardzija OK? -- Wade T., Flora, Miss. I love the fact that somewhere, someone cares enough about this franchise ... Read More

The offseason has officially begun. As we wait in fear of how Jim Hendry can make the 2010 version of the Cubs worse than the 2009 version, White Sox fans are likely doing the same. Kenny Williams has taken an early lead on head-scratching moves, officially trading for Mark Teahen today. So, let's put our beloved Chicago ... Read More