I save your nightmares in a jar and I pour them over my mashed potatoes.

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Scarier Than Quade Watching You Sleep” Edition 9

I save your nightmares in a jar and I pour them over my mashed potatoes.Happy Halloween, guys and ghouls. Ha ha ha! Seriously though, ghouls, do us all a favor and dress like sluts tomorrow. There’s nothing scarier than Mark McGwire’s pockmarks, so I assume you’ve had your fill of terror for this week. But I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween. Thanks, as always, for the tips. Abandon hope all ye who enter the Roundup. What? I read.

  • How well do you know your baseball movies? Specifically, Field of Dreams and Major League.
  • Do you have World Series tickets? Well, now you can give them away for free, AND you have to have sex with a Phillies fan!
  • If I haven’t given you enough reasons to despise ESPN yet, here’s one more.
  • In space, no one can hear you scream. Or piss yourself. Or have sex. Just read this.
  • God damn, law students are dorks.
  • Stormtroopers have more fun than you do on their days off.
  • I don’t know if this should be bigger nightmare fuel for you, Paul McCartney, or Pinocchio, but I do know that it fucking sucks.
  • Oh, good. Now there are BEES that drink HUMAN TEARS. Yes, when you cry in fear, IT MAKES THE BEES STRONGER.
  • Even old people liked puns and puss– well, just read the link.
  • Speaking of Letters of Note, maybe we should listen to you nerds every once in a while.
  • Arnold knows now why you cry.
  • Add grieving to the list of things a chimpanzee can do better than you can.
  • I guess being dumber than a chimp is better than being weaker than a five-year-old. (HT: TDubbs) Seriously, Romania. What the fuck?
  • No plans for the weekend? Of course not. Well, why not visit one of the 6 Creepiest Places on Earth?
  • John pointed this video out in a comment a while ago, asking if this is Len Kasper’s day job. You wish you worked with these people. Not just the hot blond. People who actually have- you know- fun at work.
  • Friends are the absolute best.
  • You’re on the internet. Do you follow the top 10 internet laws, or are you just Hitler?
  • No one could make an entrance quite like Cosmo Kramer. Here’s all of them.
  • Some drunk weighs (tee hee!) in on the Steve Phillips saga. (HT: John)
  • How DARE anyone question my managerial resume over Captain Lou Albano’s?
  • Don’t know anything about baseball? Trust me. I’ve read your posts. You don’t. Well, Sully Baseball is here to help you feel less stupid about your stupidity.
  • I love Google as much as the next guy (you bet your ass I have my Verizon Droid pre-ordered, but sometimes it’s scary when Google can see into the darkest corners of your soul.

That’s it for me, hobgoblins. Have a safe and happy Halloween. Don’t do anything whomever you’re dressed as wouldn’t do.

-Sweet Uncle Lou

  • Ryan Beariot

    i have to point out inaccuracies in the major league quiz. charlie sheen didnt get the skulls on his glasses frames until major league 2, when he used them against jack parkman on the white sox.

    also, in episode bf12 he was battling barbarians atop a winged appaloosa yet in the very next scene he was are clearly atop a winged arabian. please explain.

  • @Ryan Beariot – I thought the same thing at first. But I think he actually has a little skull on the glasses in the first Major League, too. It’s just ludicrously over-sized in Major League 2.

  • Ryan Beariot

    @Bad Kermit – Time to go home after work and Zapruder this!

    Charlie Sheen’s career goes back….and to the left. Back….and to the left.

  • Mark Giangreco Roman Wrestler

    Rick Vaughn got Kim Jong Il like womanly glasses at first (brownish frames, too), but then said that later on he would, “get some a little bit more my style”. Eventually, he got the black framed glasses with the little skull in the middle. Who is this Charlie Sheen guy?

  • russ.

    Field of Dreams: 7 of 9
    Major League: 9 of 10

  • santo10

    Am I a horrible person cause I can’t stand Field of Dreams? I’m from Iowa, I have visited the site and I’ve been forced to watch that movie a million times. I would rather watch Bull Durham any day then FOD.

  • @santo10 – Not at all. Field of Dreams is pretty boring after you’ve seen it a million times, to be honest. Unlike Major League. The end of Major League still gives me goosebumps. “Come on, Rickey.”

    That said, I fucking hate Bull Durham so very much. I truly believe it’s the most lopsidedly overrated baseball movie ever.

  • I’m so disappointed that I didn’t see this until after the Roundup went up. Insane.

  • santo10

    (703): Ryan Howard…. the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend