I save your nightmares in a jar and I pour them over my mashed potatoes.Happy Halloween, guys and ghouls. Ha ha ha! Seriously though, ghouls, do us all a favor and dress like sluts tomorrow. There’s nothing scarier than Mark McGwire’s pockmarks, so I assume you’ve had your fill of terror for this week. But I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween. Thanks, as always, for the tips. Abandon hope all ye who enter the Roundup. What? I read.

  • How well do you know your baseball movies? Specifically, Field of Dreams and Major League.
  • Do you have World Series tickets? Well, now you can give them away for free, AND you have to have sex with a Phillies fan!
  • If I haven’t given you enough reasons to despise ESPN yet, here’s one more.
  • In space, no one can hear you scream. Or piss yourself. Or have sex. Just read this.
  • God damn, law students are dorks.
  • Stormtroopers have more fun than you do on their days off.
  • I don’t know if this should be bigger nightmare fuel for you, Paul McCartney, or Pinocchio, but I do know that it fucking sucks.
  • Oh, good. Now there are BEES that drink HUMAN TEARS. Yes, when you cry in fear, IT MAKES THE BEES STRONGER.
  • Even old people liked puns and puss– well, just read the link.
  • Speaking of Letters of Note, maybe we should listen to you nerds every once in a while.
  • Arnold knows now why you cry.
  • Add grieving to the list of things a chimpanzee can do better than you can.
  • I guess being dumber than a chimp is better than being weaker than a five-year-old. (HT: TDubbs) Seriously, Romania. What the fuck?
  • No plans for the weekend? Of course not. Well, why not visit one of the 6 Creepiest Places on Earth?
  • John pointed this video out in a comment a while ago, asking if this is Len Kasper’s day job. You wish you worked with these people. Not just the hot blond. People who actually have- you know- fun at work.
  • Friends are the absolute best.
  • You’re on the internet. Do you follow the top 10 internet laws, or are you just Hitler?
  • No one could make an entrance quite like Cosmo Kramer. Here’s all of them.
  • Some drunk weighs (tee hee!) in on the Steve Phillips saga. (HT: John)
  • How DARE anyone question my managerial resume over Captain Lou Albano’s?
  • Don’t know anything about baseball? Trust me. I’ve read your posts. You don’t. Well, Sully Baseball is here to help you feel less stupid about your stupidity.
  • I love Google as much as the next guy (you bet your ass I have my Verizon Droid pre-ordered, but sometimes it’s scary when Google can see into the darkest corners of your soul.

That’s it for me, hobgoblins. Have a safe and happy Halloween. Don’t do anything whomever you’re dressed as wouldn’t do.

-Sweet Uncle Lou