Hire Jim Essian

It’s looking pretty inevitable that the Yankees are going to be the American League representative in this year’s World Series. That means it would be a Phillies-Yankees matchup. Could it be any more boring than that? We just saw Philly win the World Series, and I’m sick of Derek Jeter’s face. An Angels-Dodgers matchup would have been somewhat interesting. I don’t know why I’m talking about it. None of you will watch it, anyhow. OR WILL YOU? Thanks, as always, for the tips. Remember, the Roundup is only as good as YOU (and I) make it. Away we go.

• Speaking of the World Series, I hope you guys already got your playoff tickets. Your Cubs/Sox playoff tickets, that is.
• I know I linked the brilliant ShuffleTime already last week. Well, here is the company’s website. They have some other pretty hilarious ideas. Woofer is tweeting in 1400 characters or MORE. I can’t wait until they release Squeaker, which requires you to “squeak” in EXACTLY 14 characters.
• What would happen if you could no longer read HJE (or any other site, for that matter)? THE HORROR!
• Fortunately for you, the internet is alive and well and hosting these 50 great sites.
• The first haunted doll on this list is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. And I’ve seen Rick Dempsey’s penis.
• How much are these umps getting paid to get screamed at by me and to blow calls in the playoffs? Plenty.
• Has Jim Hendry actually been on the GOOD side of three of the top 23 trades of the decade?
• I’m pretty sure everyone geeky enough to the internet regularly loves xkcd. This guy sure does.
• Your weekly dose of nightmare fuel comes in the form of a giant spider. The article tells us that only “a handful” of these things have been found throughout the world. That’s good to know, since a “handful” is ONLY FUCKING ONE OF THEM!!!
• If you thought Mafia Wars on Facebook was addictive, just wait until Civilization comes out.
• Don’t understand WWI? This will help. And if you don’t understand the sequel to WWI, print this out and take it into the bathroom with you.
• Dammit.
• Every time I think I’ve read the best Text From Last Night, a better one comes along.
• I hope you’re paying attention to what happens BEHIND some of your favorite reporters. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)
• The Chicago area has not one, but TWO of America’s 10 most haunted cemeteries. Suck it, New Orleans!
• Man, this guy went ALL OUT for his Halloween decorations this year.
• In this time of economic struggle, it’s good to see that people are not above defacing money.
• Improv Everywhere has some incredible ideas, but this musical in a grocery store might be my favorite.
  
• Those of you with iPhones and a penchant for second-guessing every move I make might enjoy this app. (HT: Pre)
• I have two new favorite sites this week. The first is Children of the 90’s. I think there are plenty of you who are still young enough to appreciate it. I’m stunned there’s not a Children of the 80’s out there for what I like to call “Generation B126.” The other one is Passive Aggressive Notes. (HT: Cassandra) I particularly enjoy the second one of these.

That’s all for me. I hear it’s another wet, cold day in Chicago. Would you REALLY want us to still be playing baseball?

-Sweet Uncle Lou