In this week’s Muskbox, we learn that Cubs fans still don’t understand how trades work, someone actually likes Aaron Heilman, and there is a person outside the Harry Potter universe named “Mordy.”
Is there a possibility Ryne Sandberg could be the Cubs’ hitting coach next year? If not, could Sandberg be the manager of the Triple-A Iowa Cubs? Either position should help him ease into a Major League team as manager, hopefully with Chicago.
– Ara W., Alpharetta, Ga.
I understand that you’re from Georgia, so you were probably all hopped up on Coca-Cola, Chip Caray, and dog fighting when you wrote this, but there is absolutely no reason other than silly sentimentality that the Cubs should hire Ryne Sandberg to be their manager. Maybe someday Sandberg will develop into a good manager. But the Cubs have enough problems as it is without having to worry about breaking in a rookie manager.
CARRIE: Let’s put an end to the hitting coach rumors. Sandberg is interested in managing; he will not be considered for the coaching vacancy on Lou Piniella’s staff. Sandberg could find himself at Double-A Tennessee again, and that’s not a knock on how he did in 2009 with the Minor League team. The Southern League is a tough, competitive league, and they play by National League rules. It’s a good training ground. Cubs general manager Jim Hendry has said he’d like to have Sandberg back in the Minor League system as a manager. The Cubs typically announce their staffs in early December.
If the Southern League is so tough, why doesn’t it play by its OWN rules?
What are the Cubs’ plans for Jake Fox next year? Piniella has indicated his desire for a big RBI bat, and it seems Fox could fill that role nicely, especially if there are payroll constraints. Fox added some key production and power in his limited playing time this year. Also, has anyone coined the term “Fox trot” when he hits a home run? If he gets more playing time, we could see the “Fox trot” a lot in coming years.
– Wes K., Dallas
No, no one’s coined it. We’re too busy coining things like, “You can’t quiet The Riot!” Here are some other examples of things to say after Fox hits a home run.
- Jake and Shake
- The Fox and the Round(tripper)
- And with that, Oakland leads 2-0.
CARRIE: Fox didn’t embarrass himself at third base or in the outfield…
…and that’s all the Cub organization really expects from their defense.
CARRIE: …but his best position is first base. As long as Derrek Lee is on the Cubs, it’ll be hard for Fox to get playing time. The openings for 2010 appear to be second base and center field, and Fox isn’t a good fit at either of those positions. There was some interest in the right-handed hitter during the season, and it may be best for him if he’s moved to get more playing time. And, no, I haven’t heard anyone use “Fox trot.” I’m sure Fox would like to hear that on a regular basis.
I think it actually might make him stop hitting home runs entirely.
What is the status of Aaron Heilman? I would love to see him back next year in pinstripes.
– Matt, Logansport, Ind.
Yankee pinstripes? Philly pinstripes? Met pinstripes? Astro pinstripes? Marlin pinstripes? Rocky pinstripes? White Sock pinstripes? Twin pinstripes? Surely you can’t mean Cub pinstripes.
CARRIE: Matt, you didn’t include your last name, but judging by your e-mail address (which had an Irish reference in it), you’re a Notre Dame fan, and, obviously, a fan of Heilman.
So why don’t you check the polls and see where Heilman ranks and then go light a candle for him in the Grotto while swaying back and forth with your fellow students and singing the alma mater?
CARRIE: He could be back, or the Cubs may not tender him a contract if they decide they have enough arms for the bullpen. Heilman is arbitration eligible. This is his last year for that; he’ll be a free agent in 2011. Here’s a list of other arbitration-eligible Cubs (3-6 years of big league service): Jeff Baker, Neal Cotts, Mike Fontenot, Tom Gorzelanny, Angel Guzman, Koyie Hill, Carlos Marmol, Sean Marshall and Ryan Theriot. The Cubs have until Dec. 12 to tender contracts to those players.
Yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no.
Sorry, I was just figuring out who on that list I would do.
Why is it that Piniella insists the team needs another RBI bat if he’s expecting Geovany Soto and Alfonso Soriano to be better next season? What this team could use and use badly is speed and guys who can reach base. I recommend the team try to acquire Tampa Bay’s B.J. Upton or Detroit’s Curtis Granderson. Their teams are considering trading them, and they can actually play defense. If you look at the teams in the playoffs, you will see fast runners at the top and solid defense up the middle. Wouldn’t that be better than going backwards and looking at a Mark DeRosa, like most Cubs fans want?
– Alfonzo A., Chicago
Teams in the playoffs, like B.J. Upton’s team or Curtis Granderson’s team? Oh, right. Those guys’ teams didn’t make the playoffs. On the other hand, Mark DeRosa’s team DID make the playoffs for the past three seasons, making him the most valuable player in the history of the game of baseball.
CARRIE: You’re absolutely right about the need to be solid up the middle. Piniella’s two priorities actually are linked together. If Soriano and Soto are healthy and return to form, the manager will have two RBI men who were missing this season. If Aramis Ramirez is healthy and doesn’t miss two months, he’d probably drive in 100 runs, which would help fill Piniella’s list as well. The Cubs could use someone like Upton or Granderson. We all have wish lists. A lot of the impetus behind the push for DeRosa is because he was a popular guy. DeRosa fans should remember he’ll be 35 in February, he’ll be coming off a wrist injury and he batted .193 in September.
CARRIE’S WISH LIST
- The return of the tight bun as an acceptable hairstyle
- A single thoughtful Muskbox question
- DeRosa dressed as an innocent pizza delivery boy
I’ve heard the phrase “another Ken Griffey Jr. out there.” Why don’t we sign Griffey to a one-year contract? He played for Piniella once, so maybe he would end his career with him as well. Has anyone mentioned Adam Dunn? He would’ve been the perfect fit instead of Milton Bradley.
– Jesse P., Mellen, Wis.
Or maybe if they start growing a tree in right field now it will be ready for Opening Day at Wrigley Field. They can even put a jersey and a glove on it. Whenever it makes a play, we can have Chip Caray pop out of a little knothole in the tree and yell, “That was TREEmendous!”
CARRIE: Unless Griffey can turn back the clock, no. He batted .214 this season for the Mariners, and he turns 40 in November. As for Dunn, he is best suited for left field, and that position is filled on the Cubs by Soriano. Everyone who has written to suggest the Cubs deal Soriano needs to remember he’s owed $76 million over the next four years, and it would be a Herculean task for Hendry to find a team that would take on that money.
Is Hercules the guy who was condemned to an eternity of eating because he lived the life of a glutton? Oh, he was the strong guy? Yeah, Hendry’s not up for trading Soriano.
Baker really played well when he got here. Do you see him as a potential starting second baseman for next year?
– Mordy G., Cleveland
WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!
CARRIE: Right now, Baker is the frontrunner, especially considering how far Fontenot fell off the chart. Baker batted .305 in 69 games with the Cubs. To Fontenot’s credit, he never took his offensive problems onto the field.
Mostly because it would be really weird if he walked onto the field with a helmet and a bat.
Do you know when the DVD release of “We Believe” will be out?
– Josh B., Lombard, Ill.
You don’t need to know. They sent me a pre-release copy. I got about 35-40 minutes into it before I had to turn it off.
SPOILERS
- George Will tells his story about choosing the Cubs over the Cardinals…again.
- Bonnie Hunt tells her story about going to Opening Day at Wrigley every year…again.
- Joe Mantegna talks about how rooting for the Cubs is like rooting for the perpetual underdogs…again.
- Oh, and Jeff Garlin talks about how he eats a whole birthday cake every time the Cubs lose. Or something like that.
END SPOILERS
CARRIE: Unfortunately, the release has been delayed until spring.
WAIT ‘TIL NEXT YEAR!
aaron heilman is a shittier baseball version of rudy. “he went to notre dame! he tried hard and made the cubs! he sure does suck at the game, but damn, if he doesnt seem to care a whole hell of a lot!”
Then again, “sucks at the game but seems to care” describes a good half of the team.
and i cannot believe someone wants griffey. how soon is it until we get a muskbox question asking the cubs to sign any of the following players: Barry Bonds, David Fucing Eckstein, Jim Edmonds, Cory Lidle/Kirby Puckett?
and i’m calling it now. within the next two muskbags someone is going to ask a question about acquiring albert pujols because he only has one year left on his contract and he wants to play for a winner. Carrie will then say something about how the cubs are happy with derrek lee’s production at 1st base and note that lee still has time left on his contract. we will all then die a little more inside.
I’m surprised there isn’t a question about firing Larry and Lou and getting Dave Duncan and LaDouchebag
I know muskrats, and that doesn’t look to be one – it’s looking more like a marmot.
@CactusMcHarris – Huh? That looks nothing like a marmot. Marmots look like fat squirrels, and they certainly don’t have rat tails.
I’m sitting at work sicker than hell, and I nearly sprayed my desk with snot laughing at the tree/Chip Carey thing. Laugh was much appreciated, though I’m not sure my relief will feel the same.
Is it just me, or were people saying the same thing about Fontenot at the end of last season as they are about Baker now? “He batted .305 in 69 games with the Cubs, so lets make him next years starting second baseman…” Uggh. That just doesn’t sit that well anymore.
I like Baker and I think he should definitely merits an invite to Spring Training. Not sure he should be the everyday 2nd baseman though. I think he’d make a helluva solid bench guy, because he can play multiple positions. The Cubs need to press hard for Chone Figgins and if they can’t sign him, I’d look at short term deals for Orlando Hudson or Placido Polanco. If the Cubs sign either of the latter, the Cubs will need a guy like Baker to spell them at second or replace them if they were to suffer an injury.
What really sucks is that the Rockies may consider trading Brad Hawpe this offseason due to their crammed outfield. He fits the bill of the left-handed bat Pinella and Hendry were seeking last year. He hit .283 in ’08 and .285 in ’09, with 23 homeruns both years. Plus he broke Mark Prior’s arm, and he’s white so the ‘racist’ Cub fans should like him. With the Bradley fiasco in the way, and the Cubs’ shitty farm system, I doubt the Cubs could make a good enough offer to the Rockies for Hawpe.
This made me laugh a lot.
Great point about Baker. Cubs fans love to fall in love with mediocre players based on scant evidence of a few good games. The list is endless–Fontenot, Hoffpauir, Bobby Scales, even Theriot recently. If you go back to my youth in the ’70s, they fell in love with the likes of Mick Kelleher and Carmen Fanzone and his lousy trumpet. They all play well in short bursts, but in the long run, they all suck. Let’s get a real second baseman.
Reducing Chip Caray to a Wrigley mascot who comes out of a tree maybe twice a year is not only a great idea, it is a crowing human achievement.
I’m sure the heilman question was posted by either someone in his family or his best friend. No one admits to growing up in logansport.
Fontenot/Baker/Theriot platoon at 2nd
JJ Hardy at SS