Because Tony Womack was the starting shortstop on the World Champion 2001 Diamondbacks, it’s sometimes easy to forget how terrible he actually was in his 13 seasons as a Major League Baseball player. It’s probably far easier to forget how terrible he was if you’re a Cubs fan. After all, when Womack wasn’t busy killing the Cubs from within the organization, he was compiling enough statistics to climb all the way to the 56th-best Cub Killer of My Time.

Tony Womack was born on the twin-sunned planet of Tatooine to a pair of moisture-farming aliens. He joined a band at the age of 12 that gained enough local fame to earn a regular gig at the Mos Eisley Cantina.





After deciding that he had seen one blaster fight too many, Womack left his home planet in 1991 to sign a contract with the Pittsburgh Pirates. He made his Major League debut on September 10, 1993, as a pinch-runner in a 9-8 Pirates loss to the Colorado Rockies.

Womack debuted against the Cubs toward the end of the 1993 season. The Cubs had just swept the Cardinals in a three-game set at Wrigley Field and took the first game from the Pirates to reach 80 wins for the season. The Curse of Tony Womack struck when the Cubs failed to at least split a doubleheader with the Pirates on getaway day, scoring only one run in 18 innings.

Throughout the course of his career with the Pirates, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Cardinals, Yankees, and Reds (he was also a TWO-TIME Cub) Womack compiled a .294/.329/.405 line against the Cubs. He hit 4 of his 36 career home runs against the Northsiders and collected 30 of his 368 RBIs against Cub pitching. If you think that’s unimpressive, consider that if you extrapolated those numbers to a full season of Womack vs. the Cubs, he would hit 8.4 home runs and drive in 63 RBIs. Still unimpressed? You should be, because it’s unimpressive. But consider that those 8.4 home runs and 63 RBIs would both set the career high water mark for Womack. Sad? Yes.

Womack retired after the 2006 season to later escape the oppressive atmosphere of this planet by hitching a ride home on a passing space freighter. His whereabouts are presumably far, far away.

Why You Should Hate Him: The entire 2004 season. Was it any surprise that Womack had his best year at the age of 34 coming off of Tommy John surgery? It was? Oh, right. Was it any surprise that his miracle resurgence came in the clubhouse of the Cardinals? Not only did he put up a .307/.349/.385 line (lofty for him), but he tortured those hateable 2004 Cubs with a .373/.416/.537 line which included 8 doubles, a home run, 9 RBIs, and 14 runs in 67 at-bats. Want more specifics? Well, just look at the play by play of this disaster of a game in which Womack went 3-5 with 2 doubles, 2 runs scored, an RBI, a walk, and a stolen base. But, hey, Mark Prior!

Did You Know? Womack was part of one of the greatest days of Cub injuries ever? You know how Cubs fans always lament that “only our GOOD players get hurt”? Well, such was not the case on June 24, 2006. Both Womack and Freddie Bynum went down with injuries in a game against the Twins in Minnesota. Do yourself a favor and look at the lineup for that game. You know what? Never mind. I can’t resist posting it.

Chicago Cubs                 AB   R   H RBI   BB  SO    BA   OPS  Pit  Str   PO   A  Details
J Pierre CF                   4   0   1   0    0   0  .243  .597   14   11    1   0   2B
F Bynum LF                    3   0   1   0    0   0  .260  .714   12    8    5   0   SB,CS
  M Murton PH                 1   0   0   0    0   1  .264  .698    5    3    0   0
A Ramirez 3B                  4   0   0   0    0   0  .253  .785   17   11    1   3
P Nevin 1B                    4   0   3   0    0   1  .237  .786   15    9    4   0
J Jones RF                    3   0   0   0    0   1  .291  .829   11    7    3   0
J Mabry DH                    3   0   0   0    0   2  .212  .577   17    9    0   0
R Cedeno SS                   3   0   1   0    0   0  .281  .681   12    9    2   0
T Womack 2B                   1   0   1   0    0   0  .265  .695    4    2    0   0
  N Perez 2B                  1   0   0   0    0   0  .226  .555    3    2    0   1
  T Walker PH-2B              1   0   0   0    0   0  .288  .744    4    4    0   0
H Blanco C                    3   0   0   0    0   0  .234  .685   14    9    8   1   GDP

Not only is that just about the worst starting lineup I can possibly imagine, Dusty’s top two pinch-hitters off the bench were Matt Murton and Todd Walker, and his defensive replacement for Womack was none other than Neifi Perez.

The fact that Aramis Ramirez didn’t end that day with an exit wound through the top of his skull makes him the greatest hero of all time.