Hire Jim Essian

With the Colorado Rockies' win last night, the Cubs were officially eliminated from the 2009 playoffs. Really, any fan paying attention has been ready for this since August. A lot of things went wrong, and I don't feel like reliving any of them. I'm thinking about Saturday, October 10th at Mullen's in Lisle for the Mathematical Elimination ... Read More

After a loooooong hiatus, the Muskbox has finally returned to half-answer all of your dumbest questions about the Cubs! The Muskbox is one of the few things that keeps me going during the offseason, so here's hoping that this is the first in a streak of many successful and hilarious fall and winter Muskboxes. CARRIE: It's been tough to ... Read More

Anyone still paying attention to this team is probably aware that, after a very slow start, Jeff Baker has done a pretty incredible job with the Cubs this year. The second baseman has put up a .329/.380/.476 line in a Cubs uniform, with 19 RBIs in 170 at-bats, to boot. Last night, he had an incredible at-bat against ... Read More

Another week passes, and another comment rises to fame. This week's star comment comes from our Milton Bradley discussion. EnricoPallazzo paints this dream scenario (seriously) which will, unfortunately, probably never happen. I say we suspend Cubs baseball for a period of two years. Trade away any talent we have at the AAA and above level for money (to pay current ... Read More

I apologize for interrupting your regularly-scheduled Friday HJE, but this is just too stupid to ignore. Last night, Derrek Lee was on second base when Jeff Baker hit a two-strike, two-out home run off of closer Brian Wilson to give the Cubs a 3-2 lead over the Giants. During the dugout celebration, Angel Guzman slapped Lee on the ... Read More

Well, I imagine if it doesn't happen today, it's going to happen at some point this weekend. Since the Fall of 2006, the birth of HJE, the Cubs had never failed to make the postseason. Presumably that's about to change, disproving my theory that HJE is magic. In a tradition started (and shelved) after the 2006 season, ... Read More

No, not really. I'm just aping the headline of Rick Morrissey's latest load of crap. "Despite big mistakes, Jim Hendry deserves one more shot." When the final pitch is thrown of the 2009 season, I don't think we'll actually end up calling the Cubs a "bad" team. "Disappointing," sure. "Underachieving," maybe. The same cannot ... Read More

The further removed we get from the Milton Bradley suspension, the angrier I get at both sides. Milton Bradley is a raging asshole who brought all of his made-up woe upon himself. But Jim Hendry's reaction to Bradley's latest antics is infuriating as well. But if Tom Ricketts knows what he's doing, the Bradley suspension should be ... Read More

Back in the glory days of video game baseball (read: MVP 2005), Jose Vidro was a favorite target of mine when trying to upgrade my Cub franchise. At the time, the pudgy, switch-hitting second baseman was under-appreciated by a virtual Omar Minaya, and could be had at cents on the dollar. Perhaps Vidro was the apple of my ... Read More

Well, the Milton Bradley era sure was fun. After Bradley inexplicably decided to throw the media and pretty much the entire Cub organization under the bus (HT: John), Jim Hendry retaliated by suspending Bradley for the rest of the season. How many times in MLB history has a guy been suspended just for being a dick? It's pretty clear ... Read More