Does this hat make me look pissed?

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Vote For Maddux” Edition 13

Does this hat make me look pissed?No, not that Maddux. He’s not going to need your votes. Kermit’s dog Maddux is in a “cutest dog” competition. The site is most likely bullshit, but vote, anyhow, because Kermit likes to win things, even when the wins are made-up and he had nothing to do with the victory. Roundup tips, as always, are appreciated.

  • Speaking of cute, Mark Prior still wants to pitch. How adorable!
  • If Prior had survived, would he have had one of the toughest pitches in baseball to hit? (HT: Pre)
  • It’s good to see the ushers at Wrigley Field keeping all these unruly drunks in line.
  • Was Pete Rose’s gambling worse for baseball than PEDs and steroids? (HT: Ned Ryerson)
  • I’m sure most of you nerds were busy paling your time away watching The 100 Most Iconic TV Show Intros of All Time. Incidentally, I didn’t even realize that The Simpsons had a new intro.
  • Speaking of things that geeks like, you geeks like Star Wars and saying, “EPIC FAIL!” right? Well, then, you’re going to think this article is better than Picard-on-Chewbacca porn.
  • Do your bones feel creaky this morning? Does your hair look a little gray? Are you having trouble maintaining an erection at work? However old you’re feeling right now, this will make you feel much, much older.
  • How close is your favorite song to “Sussudio”? The answer may very well shatter your preconceived notions of how much you like penis.
  • If you’re going to protest, at least protest in a way that I can laugh at or with you. (HT: Jeffrey)
  • No, Kermit, you can’t come crash on my couch.
  • Just before Kyle Blanks gracefully round the bases on his inside-the-park home run against us earlier this week, Grow Stubs Grow sent me this video.

    Like a graceful swan, that man is.
  • Kevin Gregg has struggled lately, and fortunately some of you are excellent with both Wikipedia and screen grabbing. (HT: Kane)
  • How well do you know your ’80s movie plots? At best, only equally as well as Kermit, who got 100% correct.
  • Maybe you’ll do better at a quiz about big baseball trades (at least half-big).
  • When you’re done with both of those quizzes, see how many of the most popular websites you can name. We owe a lot to those sites. HJE is NOT in the top ten, so don’t bother.
  • HJE didn’t make THIS top ten list, either? What a gyp.
  • Texts From Last Night continues to impress. I could not stop laughing at the random nature of this one. I like fart jokes. So kill me.
  • THIS is how you handle an interview.
  • If you’re like me, you love Groundhog Day. The movie, not the holiday. Wolf Gnards (which I can only assume is a fantastic reference to the comedy-horror movie Monster Squad) tries to figure out how much time Bill Murray actually spent reliving the same day over and over again. For me, it’s been nearly three seasons.
  • Has anyone been down to the Field Museum to see the “new” Pirates exhibit? If so, did you know these ten things about pirates?
  • An open letter to the occupants of a house in the Nintendo game Paperboy.
  • I sure hope the last picture ever taken of me has me flipping the double bird to some hot naked chick. At least it would be a lot less depressing than these last pictures taken.
  • Want to kill some time? Play with this generator, which pairs random Twitter updates with random Dinosaur Comics images. Can’t. Stop. Clicking. Refresh. Since I know you want to know MY favorite so far, here it is:

  • XKCD is always hilarious, but for some reason this strip tickled my funny boner.
  • There are some deals you just can’t pass up.
  • Are you a night owl like me, or just a HORRIBLE MUTANT!?
  • The smartest man to ever appear on Jeopardy.
  • Other than waking up to find Mike Quade licking your face, what weird fears do you have?
  • Other than the above-mentioned Wolf Gnards, there wasn’t a real standout site that grabbed my attention as my new favorite this week. However, I am looking forward to watching this lady’s marriage fall apart. I have news for you, lady. Fart jokes are funny ALL THE TIME.

All right, dweebs. That should hold you for a while. At least when you’re not busy holding YOURSELVES. BWA HA HA HA!

-Sweet Uncle Lou

  • Chris P

    Is Kerms Maddux the one on the Cubs blanket?

  • @Chris P – No, that Maddux sucks. My Maddux is the one in the link.

  • Poon

    Paperboy is an Atari made game. While it was released on the NES, it was a huge arcade hit first. I understand that those who wrote the faux letter referred to it as a Nintendo game but Lou, if Kermit is editing this, he should fucking know better.

  • Moon

    Are you having trouble maintaining an erection at work?

    Hey, have you seen the women I work with? Yeah, getting an erection around here is more difficult than the Cubs winning the World Series.

    /We had one hot woman and she transferred out of state. And no, I was NOT stalking her. That’s just a rumor made up by her attorneys. And the Human Resources Department. Those witnesses were all liars. And, regardless of what may have heard, at no time, I repeat, AT NO TIME have I gone pantsless at work.That one time, that was my finger trying to fix my zipper. You DIDN’T see what you thought you saw.

  • flannj

    The cutest dog site is blocked where I work.
    What kind of perverted “contest” is Kermit subjecting Maddux to?

  • Moon

    A web site on iconic tv show intros without the Dick Van Dyke Show?? EPIC FAIL!!

  • Moon

    I voted for your silly dog. If you the $1 million, I expect a huge party!

  • Chris P

    @Bad Kermit – I don’t know, the one on the Cubs blanket is super cute….It’s like Mark DeRosa, but with less hair on its back.

  • Moon

    You should put a warning on that Jeopardy link. I laughed so hard I drew spectators at work and then had to explain why I was looking at that.

    Reminded me of This

  • russ.

    Maybe Prior can come back as an outfielder for the Cardinals?

  • Jarritos

    wets his bed nightly? well if it’s on wikipedia it must be true.

  • Moon

    You know what pitcher would make a good outfielder if he didn’t have to move?

    Bobby Jenks. The man has a huge arm. He was playing catch with the outfielder and the outfielders were struggling and throwing rainbows. Jenks was throwing straight line strikes.

  • Ghost of Lynn McGlothlen

    Hey, Kerm…ol’ Lynn here. Just remember when your “Mad Dog” turns seven, you’ll have to ship him to Atlanta and then get three other dogs to replace him. One will be a bulldog with some bite left, one will be a giant poodle that will be constantly humping your leg and one will be Jose Guzman.

    Did you know that Dave Kingman once overthrew home so badly that the ball sailed into the visitor’s dugout, went up the clubhouse ramp and came to rest in a urinal. I shit you not.