Does this hat make me look pissed?No, not that Maddux. He’s not going to need your votes. Kermit’s dog Maddux is in a “cutest dog” competition. The site is most likely bullshit, but vote, anyhow, because Kermit likes to win things, even when the wins are made-up and he had nothing to do with the victory. Roundup tips, as always, are appreciated.

  • Speaking of cute, Mark Prior still wants to pitch. How adorable!
  • If Prior had survived, would he have had one of the toughest pitches in baseball to hit? (HT: Pre)
  • It’s good to see the ushers at Wrigley Field keeping all these unruly drunks in line.
  • Was Pete Rose’s gambling worse for baseball than PEDs and steroids? (HT: Ned Ryerson)
  • I’m sure most of you nerds were busy paling your time away watching The 100 Most Iconic TV Show Intros of All Time. Incidentally, I didn’t even realize that The Simpsons had a new intro.
  • Speaking of things that geeks like, you geeks like Star Wars and saying, “EPIC FAIL!” right? Well, then, you’re going to think this article is better than Picard-on-Chewbacca porn.
  • Do your bones feel creaky this morning? Does your hair look a little gray? Are you having trouble maintaining an erection at work? However old you’re feeling right now, this will make you feel much, much older.
  • How close is your favorite song to “Sussudio”? The answer may very well shatter your preconceived notions of how much you like penis.
  • If you’re going to protest, at least protest in a way that I can laugh at or with you. (HT: Jeffrey)
  • No, Kermit, you can’t come crash on my couch.
  • Just before Kyle Blanks gracefully round the bases on his inside-the-park home run against us earlier this week, Grow Stubs Grow sent me this video.

    Like a graceful swan, that man is.
  • Kevin Gregg has struggled lately, and fortunately some of you are excellent with both Wikipedia and screen grabbing. (HT: Kane)
  • How well do you know your ’80s movie plots? At best, only equally as well as Kermit, who got 100% correct.
  • Maybe you’ll do better at a quiz about big baseball trades (at least half-big).
  • When you’re done with both of those quizzes, see how many of the most popular websites you can name. We owe a lot to those sites. HJE is NOT in the top ten, so don’t bother.
  • HJE didn’t make THIS top ten list, either? What a gyp.
  • Texts From Last Night continues to impress. I could not stop laughing at the random nature of this one. I like fart jokes. So kill me.
  • THIS is how you handle an interview.
  • If you’re like me, you love Groundhog Day. The movie, not the holiday. Wolf Gnards (which I can only assume is a fantastic reference to the comedy-horror movie Monster Squad) tries to figure out how much time Bill Murray actually spent reliving the same day over and over again. For me, it’s been nearly three seasons.
  • Has anyone been down to the Field Museum to see the “new” Pirates exhibit? If so, did you know these ten things about pirates?
  • An open letter to the occupants of a house in the Nintendo game Paperboy.
  • I sure hope the last picture ever taken of me has me flipping the double bird to some hot naked chick. At least it would be a lot less depressing than these last pictures taken.
  • Want to kill some time? Play with this generator, which pairs random Twitter updates with random Dinosaur Comics images. Can’t. Stop. Clicking. Refresh. Since I know you want to know MY favorite so far, here it is:




  • XKCD is always hilarious, but for some reason this strip tickled my funny boner.
  • There are some deals you just can’t pass up.
  • Are you a night owl like me, or just a HORRIBLE MUTANT!?
  • The smartest man to ever appear on Jeopardy.
  • Other than waking up to find Mike Quade licking your face, what weird fears do you have?
  • Other than the above-mentioned Wolf Gnards, there wasn’t a real standout site that grabbed my attention as my new favorite this week. However, I am looking forward to watching this lady’s marriage fall apart. I have news for you, lady. Fart jokes are funny ALL THE TIME.

All right, dweebs. That should hold you for a while. At least when you’re not busy holding YOURSELVES. BWA HA HA HA!

-Sweet Uncle Lou