Perhaps the most disturbing revelation in a week filled with revelations about how bad the Cubs actually are was the discovery of how bad Aaron Miles is. We hated Jose Macias. We wanted to hit Neifi Perez with a pillowcase full of doorknobs. But, without revealing any numbers, let’s put them in the Fukudome.
Where’s Option 4, all of the above?
Aaron Miles. Maybe it’s just because he’s the most recent, but God, I hate him so much.
I’m going with unlucky #13. By the way, that’s a great shot of Neifi on his way to running into an out at third base! It’s a pretty rare picture, considering he almost never got on base as a Cub. Or as a Rockie. Or as a Tiger. Or as…well, you see where this is going. (He probably reached only because he got beaned in the dick.) However, I know there are PLENTY of pictures of him walking dejectedly back to the dugout after another foul-tipped strikeout or weak pop-out to third base. Too bad you couldn’t find a nice shot of him squaring around to bunt the ball back to Chad Cordero…I actually have that image forever burned into my brain. When the R&D clowns at Kodak finally get off their asses and develop a device that can download images directly from our cerebral cortex, I’ll print you out a copy. Along with one of Todd Hundley giving the single-finger salute to a heckling fan. And one of Larry Biittner looking for a ball that’s lost in his cap. And one of Tom Veryzer flipping the ball behind his back into right-center field. And one of Danny Jackson celebrating in the dugout at Jack Murphy Stadium after going 5 innings for his lone victory in 1991. And one of Kal Daniels coming up 4 feet short on a slide at home plate. And one of Mick Kelleher coming up 4 feet short trying to punch Dave Kingman.
I have Jose Macias’s autograph…I got it when I was like 10 years old and I went to Wrigley for the first time, it was the promotion where the first 10,000 fans can go out on the field and he was out the signing autographs so I got one. It’s probably worth like 8 million dollars by now.
I’m nominating this whole post for next week’s “Comment of the Week”. Good god that’s some funny shit, right there.
random unrelated question: are there any good Bears blogs to read out there?
I beleive Miles was by far the worst, however, Perez and Macias havent disgraced a cubs uniform in a few years so they are not fresh in are minds. Which is probably a good thing, ive tried to block out the memory of them in a cubs uniform.
@Oliver – I’m never one to defend a PED user… but NEIFI! did an adequate job replacing NOMAR in the 2005 season. Besides that, completely useless.
I think the Cubs are paying Miles more money than Neifi and the gremlin made. Miles came to spring training fat and slow and can’t cover nearly as much ground as Neifi. Plus he was a Cardinal. I hate to be a dick about it but… he was a freaking Cardinal.
Perez still hit at an ungodly level down the stretch in ’04. People forget that.
Plus, Jose Macias is, ahem, well blessed. I heard a story from a lass about a run in with Mr. Macias. And he, well, he makes Visante Shiancoe look like a newborn. So, there’s that.
Aaron Miles gets the, pardon me, short end of the staff on this one.
HERE’S something you didn’t know!
$80 tickets on the rooftop 100 miles away from this meaningless game are GOING FAST!! ACT NOW!!
Aaron Miles is the white Ramon Martinez. Fuck him sideways.
How is this even a contest? If you COMBINED Neifi’s and Jose’s amount of suck it would still pale in comparison to the suck that is AAron Miles. Not to mention he is the physical embodiment of all the stupid things Lou has done this season. A mascot of suck, if you will.
At least Jose still has a career playing a gremlin.
Ramon Martinez was a mediocre at best utility infielder.
Aaron Miles is a terrible at best utility infielder. My god his OPS+ is like 20. That it would take 5 aaron miles to equal a average major league player.