Oh, hey. Ted Lilly is back. I almost forgot about him. The left-hander’s return means that one of his teammates is DL-bound. Everyone hopes it will be Aaron Miles, but I predict that Aramis Ramirez’s face will melt off. Lilly will start the first game of a West Coast road trip consisting of three games against the Padres and four against the Dodgers. If there’s one thing I know about the Cubs, it’s that West Coast road trips almost ALWAYS go really well. If you’re scoreboard watching, well, you’re kind of an idiot. But if you’re still clinging to hope, the Cardinals are on a similar road trip, though they get the Padres for four games and Dodgers for three.
I guess this would be a good time for the Cubs to show something. Anything.
I’m rooting for a plane crash with the Cubs and Cardinals heading out west. I’m not even sure which plane needs to go down.
A midair collision would allow us all to move on with our lives. Oh wait. Shit.
I predict Aaron Miles will NOT be on that plane.
Or Jeff Samardzjia.
Or Ron Santo.
St. Louis is probably going to win the division, which sucks, because quite frankly, I don’t think they’re all that good. Not good enough to win 97 fucking games, like the Cubs did last year, before Hendry decided to blow the team up. Honestly, I expect St. Louis to add John Smoltz, who will proceed to save or hold about 25 games and have a smaller ERA than Tony LaRussa’s tiny, alcohol-shriveled dick. If they can get Julio Lugo to hit above .300 anything is possible.
The Cubs are so bipolar at this point, I really don’t know what to expect. Bring on the Blackhawks.
Great new countdown. Should have made it more prominent.
Hey! Only 3 games down in the loss column. Don’t give up yet!!
Eamus Catuli!!! Eamus.Catuli.
I know it makes me a schmuck, but if we go 5-2 on this road trip I’m going to start believing the team is probably going to win the division, in spite of themselves. If they go 4-3, I’ll keep thinking they have a real chance. It may make me sound like a naive Pollyanna, but I’m just not ready to burn it down and salt the earth quite yet.
Of course when I want to bum myself out, I just reflect on the fact that the bullpen (The Marmot in particular) is such a drag that if they’re not up by 3 runs when the starting pitcher comes out, I start assuming they’re fucked. There’s no way to win a division with nobody in the bullpen, so for them to win on this road trip something very improbable is going to have to happen.
Salting the earth. Nice Carthage reference. Also sounds really attractive just now.
LOL my bad guys, I’ll do better next time.
Wow. I take back not wanting to burn down/salt earth. Fuck the heck.
It’s official. I hate this team WAY more than the 2004 squad. How many games does this guy have to blow before Lou quits trotting his sorry ass out there?
I should be next to Kevin Gregg’s name tomorrow
The Pads cannot beat anyone consistently this year – hell, it’s rare that they post a win. Still, the great whoosh of underachievement that is this 2009 Cubs season modulated a little lower tonight. Man, if you can’t beat the Pads, you’re really sucking.
1-2 vs. the Padres and an 0-2 start vs. LA. How do you say “It’s over” in Latin?
Eatme Catuli!!! Eatme.Catuli.