Hello again, gang! It’s time to pick out another funny, stupid, or grammatically-incorrect comment that you may have missed this week! This week’s dose of craziness comes from a White Sox fan. Surprised? You should be.
“Mike” weighs in on a post written over a year and two months ago with this:
I was born in the early 50’s near Wrigley field but became a Sox fan mainly because as a 5 year old the players names sounded more interesting and back then the Sox would have those great series with the Yankees. Some players were named Jungle Jim, Chico, Nellie, Lou ees and of course Minnie. The cubs meanwhile were playing to average crowds of about 7,000…the upper deck was a dust collector. Jack Brickhausenmiller was doing the broadcasts with a guy that was asleep by the fifth inning…Lloyd somethingorever.
Name a cub from the 50’sAnyway my Dad did not even like baseball nor did any of my other siblings. I am a self made fan and I chose the Sox. I like having fewer fans its sort of a select group.
Just when you thought you’d heard the lamest anti-Cub sentiment from a Sox fan, Mike comes along. Let me see if I can recap it for you:
Cubs players have such LAME names. Why can’t they have macho names like “Jungle Jim” or “Chico“? Give me a team filled with hulking men with strong man names like “Sherm” and “Bubba” and “Ted Beard”! How I yearn for the days of the firm thighs of Dixie Howell and the smoldering gaze of Stover McIlwain! Don’t even get me started on Nellie “The Fox”! THERE was a man made for other men! I can go on all day about the amazing endurance and stamina of Minnie Minoso! I remember lying in my bed, staring lustily at the backside of Walt Dropo’s baseball card while my Sandy Consuegra poster watched over me. I ask you, what boy in the 1950s didn’t dream of playing with Connie Johnson or Dick Strahs? I can tell you one thing, REAL men in Chicago born in the 1950s wanted nothing more than to see their Dick Brown! You Cubs fans are such queers!
Here’s why I like the AL better than the NL. The designated hitter. With all due respect to the hitting prowess of pitchers like Carlos Zambrano, most pitchers are an automatic out. It slows the game down. Yeah, I know, more strategy. Slow, but strategic, I guess. They are trying to find ways to speed up the game. So, here’s my new suggestion.
I think they should take it further and have one designated fielder. It could be a catcher or an outfielder or an infielder, but it’s a person who only plays in the field. And yes, that would me TWO designated hitters.
There are a lot of guys who are worth the price of admission for their glove work, but they can’t hit worth a lick.
“Anyway my Dad did not even like baseball nor did any of my other siblings.”
I think “Mike” just admitted what many of us already knew. His father is also his brother.
Moon, why not go all the way and have a completely different nine guys in the batting order than on the field! That way, the Cubs farm system can continue churning out Jake Foxes and Augie Ojedgas and not worry that they can only play half the game!
It’s a slippery slope, that’s for sure.
One day, it will be that way, but we have to start somewhere.
Remember, football was once full of two-way players. It’s a better game for NOT having that anymore.
Man, if it ever went to all designated hitters, could you imagine all the fat softball players waddling around the basepaths??
I like having fewer fans its sort of a select group.
- Sort of like the Nazis, right?
Name a cub from the 50’s
- Moe Drabowski? Too gay.
Bob Usher, Monk Dubiel and Bubba Church? Too religious.
Vito Valentinetti and Vicente Amor? No love here.
Well, how about Ernie Banks or Billy Williams?
Yep, I guess you’re right Mike. The Cubs of the 50′s had lousy baseball names.