Maybe I’m just annoyed with how the weekend series has gone so far. Maybe it’s because it seems like Todd Helton hits .800 against the Cubs. Maybe it’s because such piles of shit as Neifi Perez, Aaron Miles, Shawn Estes, and Dusty Baker have associations with NL West teams. Maybe it’s because of the outcome of the last two Cub postseason series against the Diamondbacks and Dodgers. Or the 1989 postseason. Or the 1984 postseason. But one thing is certain. I absolutely hate the NL West.

Two transplanted teams, three expansion teams, a park so lively that they have to soak their balls to keep them from flying all over the place, and a park so dead it actually made Woody Williams look competent. How about the wonderful 2005 NL West, which was won by a terrible 82-80 Padres team? Brian Giles was the only guy in that lineup who OPSed over .800, and he didn’t even slug .500 in doing so. No other team in the West finished over .500 that year. Sure, the NL Central is basically a tickle fight this year, BUT AT LEAST WE DON’T WEAR SHORTS YEAR-ROUND!

I get about as excited for a game against the Diamondbacks as I might for a game against the Mariners. Dodgers fans don’t realize there’s a first, second, eighth, and ninth inning, people in Denver didn’t even know they had a baseball team until the last month of the 2007 season, and the Diamondbacks fans that aren’t swimming around in the outfield are rooting for the Cubs. I’m sick of the Giants’ organic egg colored uniforms and the Padres’ idiotic camouflage alternate jerseys. Oh, and Matt Holliday did NOT touch the plate, as if anyone cared. How can one fail to outsmart Michael Barrett?

Finally, remember how long people were telling us that Sean Burroughs was awesome? Ugh.

Screw you, NL West.