Sorry about the sparsity of posts around here this week. I’m pretty sure Kermit’s head exploded from Kaplan overdose, as he’s been lying on a couch muttering to himself for the past few days. Thanks for all of the tips. As always, if you have anything good, send it this way.
- Does your wife call you a fat, drunken slob, and you would prefer if only ONE of those adjectives were accurate? Well, I have the site for you.
- That site, of course, led me to “Get Drunk, Not Fat” and “Get Drunk, Not Broke.” Where were these sites when I was in college? Oh, right. No internet.
- You may be surprised who is on Ask Men‘s Top Ten Baseball Burnouts, and you might be even more surprised about who ISN’T on it.
- There’s a laughing gas leak at the ABC News studio! (HT: J-Kerm)
- This is why Weird Al Yankovic will ALWAYS be relevant, and why I will fight anyone who says otherwise.
- Mental Floss has Nine Great Movie Monologues that YOU CAN’T HANDLE!
- And if you don’t have the patience to listen to monologues, how about some one-liners?
- Of all the sportswriters and former sportswriters in Chicago, Mike Royko is the LAST one I would have thought would raise a felon.
- And speaking of idiots who run afoul of the law.
- Roy Halladay almost got traded at the deadline for Keyser Söze.
- A guy has to draw the line somewhere.
- Bad Kermit, indeed.
- Here’s a time-waster for you. Can you figure out which Google search would have returned a certain set of images? I got a 291 on my first try.
- Have you ever had a dream that involved Megan Fox and a box? Was it this one?
- Speaking of Megan Fox, if you haven’t seen Transfomers 2 yet and want to avoid some confusion, read this. (HT: Tom Trebelhorn)
- This Mario-Peach sex tape is decidedly NSFW.
- Brandon Phillips will traumatize you with his crotch.
- Did any of you statfags enter the World Series of Baseball Trivia?
- If I ever found ancient yeast, this is the first thing I’d do with it, too.
- I knew the Greek God of Walks was patient, but not THIS patient.
- I’m not a huge Deadspin fan, but they’re good at explaining why our stadiums all suck. (HT: Clay)
- I know we have some dads who read the site. I hate to break it to you, but you suck compared to this dad.
- Cardinals fans are brilliant cat burglars. (HT: Arcturus)
- Speaking of the Cardinals, if this Dave Duncan montage doesn’t melt your heart, I don’t know what will. (HT: Section 242)
- Confused about what the internet is? This should help you out. (HT: Grow Stubs Grow)
- Even if Jake Peavy gets healthy, it’s still the WORST TRADE EVAR! (HT: John)
- Andre the Giant was big, awesome. (HT: ChuckDickens)
- My new favorite site of the week is You Suck at Craigslist, mainly because of entries like this one and this one.
- And if that one isn’t good enough for you, waste some time on the NSFW-ish This is Photo Bomb. (HT: Daniel)
Well, that’s all for me for today, loosely-defined gentlemen. We’re going to cool down the Rockies until their indicator turns blue. I swear to God, I didn’t want to write that joke.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
