Hire Jim Essian

So, it appears that the Cubs continue to remain totally boned and continue dropping like flies. So, in this late-night Fukudome, why are they MORE boned? VS. Ryan Dempster Geovany Soto ... Read More

I've noticed that there have been some absolutely mind-numbing comments on HJE, and that not all of them were written by me. Most of the truly hilarious ones are written on long-forgotten B126 entries, usually accusing me of being jealous of Doug Dascenzo. Of course I'm jealous of every Major League Baseball player. They played Major League ... Read More

Hello, kids! I'm all giddy today, because I'm getting ready for our three-game sweep of the Cardinals, now that they lost THE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER TO ANY TEAM IN MLB HISTORY. I hope you guys have picked a different Cardinals player to standing ovate this weekend. If you haven't, may I suggest Todd Wellemeyer? He "played ... Read More

David Kaplan is giving away free Lou Malnati's pizzas to the two people who submit the best question for either Ryan Theriot or Jim Hendry via Twitter. So, if you like free pizza or subtly mocking Cubs personnel, submit a question. I've already submitted, "They'll be on at the same time? Ask Hendry if he'd trade Theriot to ... Read More

Not you, Chicago Cubs. I try never to refer to the team as "we," since I'm just a stupid fan writing silly things about the wacky stuff you do. No, the "we" that sucks is the "we" that includes me in the definition of "Cubs fan." I'm saddened to say that you Cubs fans reading this blog ... Read More

Since Aramis Ramirez is back, Randy Wells remains awesome, Derrek Lee is on fire, the offense is starting to swing the bats a bit, and Kevin Gregg has found some consistency, there's not much about which to complain right now. So instead I'll share something I saw about a week and a half ago, because that's exactly how timely ... Read More

Aramis is back today, along with Angel Guzman and Reed Johnson. The Cubs just got a whole hell of a lot better. They were 11-7 (holy God, it was only 18 games into the season when he went down) with Aramis, and they've gone 29-32 without him. A Cub lineup that looks like it finally figured out ... Read More

First of all, I have HUGE NEWS! Jim acquired Jeff Baker from the Rockies! I guess that's only huge if you assume the Aaron Miles era is over. I'm not completely convinced that it is. Anyhow, since most of you won't be working tomorrow (meaning we probably won't post tomorrow), you get your weekly Roundup a ... Read More

No, this is not an argument against Ron Santo�s inclusion into the Hall of Fame. Only a true idiot�or an insecure weirdo like Mike Schmidt�would make such an argument. Santo has long been deserving, and his exclusion is worthy of an absurdist drama. It is, however, this very debate that has wound its way through the years ... Read More