I’ve noticed that there have been some absolutely mind-numbing comments on HJE, and that not all of them were written by me. Most of the truly hilarious ones are written on long-forgotten B126 entries, usually accusing me of being jealous of Doug Dascenzo. Of course I’m jealous of every Major League Baseball player. They played Major League Baseball for a living, while I sit behind a desk every day, trying not to cry. That doesn’t make them not terrible at playing baseball, and it doesn’t make them any less annoying to me, though. But that’s neither here nor there. I’ve decided to keep track of the really hilarious or (more likely) really pathetic ones, and to give them their own honor of winning Skip’s Comment of the Week.
This week, I couldn’t decide which of The Bull’s comments was the worst, so I’ll just post two of my favorites and let you decide.
The one where he calls Huey a cocksucker and makes a “teenagers with HIV” joke?
I am with Bill Madlock on this one. What the fuck is with all the Santo hate? I have read some crap in my day but this bullshit takes the first place gold medal in douchery. In the 25 years I have been a Cub fan I have never been more embarrassed by my fellow fans. Santo is a whiner? Really? I have watched us go from the best fans in baseball to a bunch of crybaby fans who dont seem to understand the game. We boo our own players? There are slumps in baseball, some longer than others. Huh, booing your own always makes for a positive atmosphere. I dont know if any of you have ever taken in a game in Cincy but we are getting close to becoming exactly like those pathetic fucks. We make the playoffs only to have the fans at the game behave like a bunch of nervous teenagers getting ready for their first HIV test. The ENTIRE national media made fun of the crowds at games 1 and 2 against the Dodgers. Again, it was disgusting.
And now we have stopped low enough to drag our beloved Ronnie through the mud, dislike his calling of the games, I can understand that if thats your opinion, he does get down and take the loses to heart, I personally view it as how much he loves this team no matter how shitty we play. But to drag him through the mud and talk about his impending death, especially with a man that has battled diabetes is just downright trash and you sir should never ever write another piece word ever! I have an idea MikeD (I assume the D stands for Douchebag) why dont you and all the other negative Cub fans go to the South side and join all the other Cub haters that live in self pitty because of their hatred for the Cubs, cheering everytime the Cubs score comes up and the Cubs are losing. Maybe even smoke you some MORE crack while your there. Fuck you you cocksucker
Or the one where he tells me that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about and that I suck because I think it’s ridiculous for a grown man to wear a Ryan Theriot jersey?
And what is wrong with buying jerseys of playersa on the team? I am pretty sure that it means you are a real fan who actually watches the team and grows fond of certain players like The Riot who people appreciate his hard nose style of play. Sorry, I didnt realize that we are all supposed to wear D. Lee and Ramirez jerseys. 1,2,4,5,7,9,10,11 and 12 were legit but 3,6 and 8 pretty much tell me that you dont know what the fuck you are talking about. Looks like your the one that sucks.
Congratulations, The Bull! You are a “real fan” and our very first Skip’s Comment of the Week champion!
The Cubs fans at those playoff games were pretty weak…but to say they were a bunch of teenagers with or without HIV is just wrong.
HAHA… “Looks like you are the one that sucks” …that is “jerk store” material there.
I love this feature. Please don’t forget about it.
wait wait wait, are you saying that all i have to do to get famous on the internet is call someone and their opinions wrong? that being the case:
bad kermit? more like sad hermit! (holds hand up for high fives, looks around and sees no one helping) whatever, he’s so wrong about Ryne Theriot and his great second base capabilities. I mean, come on, he hit 282 HR! over 1000 RBI! and nearly 350 stolen bases! how can you think that Ryne Theriot is not worthy of having a jersey of, I mean, COME ON!
(someone comes over, whispers something) What? There was another Ryne in the Cubs organization? Ryne Saindborg? Am i saying that right? I’m sure he’ll be good someday too, but he’s no Ryne Theriot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my bleacher seats
If by the whole national media he means the seriously funny announcers over at TBS then yes, the national media did call us out last fall. We didn’t get far enough to be berated by the real legends over at Fox.
I’m just impressed how everyone always knows that Mike D’s last name is Douche.
Holy crap, I hadn’t even noticed that comment on my entry. Considering it took that dingus a week to reply, I don’t suppose we’ll see him comment here until next Thursday.
I like the way The Bull phrases this “We make the playoffs only to have the fans at the game behave like a bunch of nervous teenagers getting ready for their first HIV test.”. He makes it sound like a young man’s first HIV test is some kind of rite de passage.
I like this feature, and I believe that The Bulldong will prove to be (1) a gracious winner (2) and a repeat one.
I remember my first HIV test like it was yesterday, let me tell YOU about nervous! It was the fall of ’91 and I had just fellated Magic Johnson about 12 times in an Embassy Suites outside Los Angeles. I went to the bathroom to floss and came out to an empty room with a note on the table that said, “Just wait until you see my press conference later, you might want to have your stomach pumped, thanks for the BJ – Magic.”
To be fair, Mike D is a cocksucker, and the “D” does stand for “Douchebag”.
As an individual who had the unfortunate experience of being at game 2, I’m still trying to black that night out of my memory ( you know, the one where we got our asses handed to us, oh wait, that was the entire 3 game post season…).
So Bull, please tell me what the fuck there was to cheer or be rowdy about?
If you ask me, the silence was pretty appropriate for fans responding to their team, who won 97 games during the regular season, but couldn’t manage to scrape a single fucking W against the Dodgers in the post– a completely understandable reaction in the form of all-encompassing shock, which was then immediately coupled with crippling disappointment.
Am I the first to wonder why the bald guy from Night Court is posting comments on HJE?