David Kaplan is giving away free Lou Malnati’s pizzas to the two people who submit the best question for either Ryan Theriot or Jim Hendry via Twitter. So, if you like free pizza or subtly mocking Cubs personnel, submit a question. I’ve already submitted, “They’ll be on at the same time? Ask Hendry if he’d trade Theriot to the Braves for Yunel Escobar straight up. Awkward!”
So don’t bother with that one.
Let’s hear your submissions in the comments.
So Jim, how many hoagies can you polish off in one sitting? Ryan, is there any chance you can grow a foot?
Jim, why the hell has a team with a $140 million payroll bent over backwards to keep a worthless Rule 5 albino on the roster?
And how do you keep your Flowbee in good working condition after all these years?
Hey Jim- how did you manage to get an entire bear claw stuck in your teeth? Are you aware of the existence of anti-perspirant? If I win the pizza, do I have to give you a slice?
Ryan- do you like fire trucks? You do don’t you? What color are fire trucks? Red is right! Good job Ryan, good job! Wanna go get some ice cream?
I can’t Twat at work, so can you pass this along for me please. Thanks Kerm, you fat fatty.
Jim: “Do you get this KurtEvans photoshop at all?”
Theriot: “Did you go to college with anybody else on the team?”
It’d be even harder for that midget to play baseball at work with three feet. He sucks enough with two.
@Slak –
It’d be even harder for that midget to play baseball
at workwith three feet. He sucks enough with two.Goddammit – I was distracted.
Remember when you signed a guy who has never driven in more than 77 runs in his life for more money than the guy who gets 40 HR and 100 RBIs like clockwork for the past 5 years? That was awesome.
Wouldn’t the second question be better asked about Dempster?
Jim , how difficult is it to do a job when your current bosses have no desire to win. When they make you trade away chemistry for cancer so they can keep an unmatched business paradigm afloat. Changing the dialogue in the media to insignificant subjects (see naming right, hottest fans, Ozzie hates Wrigley ,who should sing the stretch,just to name a few)? How does it feel to not be able to fire a pitching coach because he tips off the other team to the first pitch thrown after mound visits.How does it feel to be unable to change the cubs into a winner because it might upset the lovable loser Beenie Baby Cubby marketing mentality ? How difficult was it to keep a straight face when the cubs krapped out in three last year when they were still on the trading block?How do you sleep at night ?Just wondering …
Yea, How does it feel ?
Hey Jim, why did you sign Glass Man Bradley when Adam Dunn was begging for the left field vacancy? You do know he has put up a 286 /.419/.664 line at Wrigley Field with 23 bombs in ~260 ABs? Oh, no one mentioned that to you.
*right field
Hey Jim, is there currently trade talks going on between the Cubs and St. Louis for Mark DeRosa?
Jim,
Why do you hate Sean Marshall so much?
I’ll send you my mailing address for my pizza.
@murcer – So you think ‘the suits’ made Hendry trade away ‘chemistry for cancer’ to maintain their ‘business paradigm’? What does this even mean? Are you trying to say the business paradigm is to piss off the fans by getting rid of lovable stubbly moth Mark Derosa to acquire surly mean guy Milton Bradley? That doesn’t seem like a savvy marketing plan to me.
I can’t even tell if you’re mad at ownership, Jim Hendry, or something else. Your ramblings make about as much sense as running onto the field to challenge Randy Myers to a duel.
Why should they win when they sell out every game. . .Hilllllarious RV !
@murcer – Opening day payrolls the last 3 years:
2009: $134,809,000
2008: $118,345,833
2007: $ 99,670,332
Complain about how Hendry spent the money if you want, but pissing and moaning that ownership is somehow making less of an effort to win this year than they have in the past, is a combination of disingenuous and dumbass.
Disingenuouass?
Jim, do you give out unnecessarily long contracts so that you’ll be forced to eat them later? Get it Jim? Eat them cause, ya know, you’re a big flabby bastard
@typical cubs fan –
Seriously: http://www.ryantheriot.com/qanda/
Ryan, when Mark DeRosa was teaching you how to dress, did you ever get jealous that they didn’t always have the same suits he wore in
kidsyour sizes? Also, what is the difference between an Alligator and a Crocodile?Jim Will new ownership provide the financing to lock Chad Fox into a long term contract?
Ryan When Fontenot introduces you at Cooperstown, will you guys use the same phonebook?
Dear Jim Hendry,
Do you not understand how much VORP Adam Dunn would accumulate at SS?
Dear Jim:
We need more Cajun players on the team, specifically LSU alum. Here are a few I’d like to see in a Cub uniform come the end of July: Brad Hawpe, Aaron Hill, Brian Wilson.
I don’t care what you need to do to get it done. You could always waive Zambrano and DFA Soriano and Bradley to make room.
Did he just say that DeRosa used to dress him?
@Bad Kermit – No he just [showed] him how to dress, it’s similar but there’s slightly less touching. “Hey Mark: Can you zip this up for me? Does this feel hard to you? Thanks! Hey, can we go to the zoo later?!”
Well, with Hendry’s BFF as the coach at LSU I have a good feeling you’re going to see alot more tigers and less papists from south bend.
Question for Jim Hendry: Are you looking for a 2B and if who are you looking at?
David Patton is not the only albino on the roster.