Call me arrogant. Call me naive. Accuse me of shaking my fist at the gods. But I can’t help but smugly smile upon hearing the news that serial saving-children-from-burning-houses hero and future first ballot Hall of Famer Mark DeRosa has been dealt to the St. Louis Cardinals.
Look, I’m not going to pretend that my dismissal of DeRosa is anything other than knee-jerk emotional irrationality, so don’t expect me to apologize for it. In a nutshell, I was annoyed by a guy who seemed to so easily pander to the whole “Gosh, ain’t Wrigleyville swell?” mindset while, at the same, time completely failing to block such inconsequential bullshit out of his mind when it actually, you know mattered.
Because of my weird desire to see media ass-grabbers like DeRosa actually back up their glib bullshit by picking up their team when most needed, and finding myself supremely disappointed when said motormouths instead turtle up like battered housewives when the opportunity presents itself, I was more than glad to see Jim Hendry toss the stubble-faced douchebag out with the bathwater last winter, even if the players he got in return–although apparently pretty good–would not pay dividends for a while.
My satisfaction at seeing this turdblossom dealt out of town to wax poetic with another town’s media about abstract World Series hopes turned to downright aggravation when DeRosa came back to town last weekend and was treated by the local idiot fanbase like Jonas Salk.
I can understand giving Mr. Gregarious a nice hand during his first at-bat back at Wrigley Field–a venue in which, I should point out, this guy participated in as many Cubs playoff victories as Candy Maldonado–but seeing a majority of the yokels in attendance Saturday actually demonstrate the temerity to give him a standing “O” when he came up as a pinch-hitter in the 8th inning of a tie game is easily one of the most embarrassing moments I’ve ever witnessed as a fan, and it’s only bolstered my DeRosa Hate.
After personally watching this fuckbucket go hitless in the series finale, I was content to move on.
But, nooooooooooooo. It looks like Ole’ Stubbleface will get to return for countless more standing ovations.
You know what, though? I welcome it. For the Cubs to actually do what we’ve all been hoping for them to do, I think it’s rather short-sighted to expect them to do it predictably. When Kerry Wood served up the game-tying homerun to DLee last week, a thought occurred to me. Normally, in spite of the Cubs’ long-suffering history, I still would have found some place in my heart to feel sorry for Wood. But ever since last season’s shit-fest (again, thanks in no small part to asshats like DeRosa), I find myself bereft of any remaining empathy for anyone not associated with the team. So as much as I loved Kerry Wood while he was here, I had absolutely no feeling for him after he served up that cookie. In fact, the thought occurred to me that in order for the Cubs to reach the pinnacle, they need to slay those types of ghosts.
And the same goes for DeRosa. Was he not a very valuable player for the Cubs? Well, until the playoffs, yes. He was arguably the team MVP last season, in fact. Was he not producing like a madman for Cleveland this year? Hell yeah, the guy was on pace for over 100 RBI. So, while normally the idea of this guy joining the Cardinals could spell DOOM for the Cubs, I’m willing to stare into the belly of the beast and proclaim “bring it on”. Seriously. Let’s not forget that Mark DeRosa is a journeyman veteran who had his two best years with the Cubs. I suppose he could continue to prove a statistical outlier and lead the Cardinals to a pennant, but I’m going to instead choose to believe that this is merely another obstacle for the Cubs to get to the mountaintop. After all, the he batted cleanup in his first game today.
The Cubs are playing like shit, but they’re only 3 1/2 games out of first place. Obviously, this is all moot if they continue to treat the baseball–both at the plate and defensively–like it’s riddled with AIDS. But may the good lord strike me down if they fail to make the playoffs because of the presence of Mark F. DeRosa on the flippin’ St. Louis Cardinals. Call me wacko, but this moves makes me serenely confident.
a.
greed.
so what’s the play for going to the games next weekend when dero gets up to bat? do i say nothing, boo, yell at the morons who are cheering?
given that im essentially in the far back corner, dero wont be able to hear me say “die in a fire you fucking c***stain….”
I know this view is pretty unpopular, but I was fucking giddy to see Kerry Wood go, for similarly knee jerk emotional reasons. Dude got more mileage out of scruffy facial hair and a scowl than anybody except Erstad. When he missed time down the stretch because of his
stigmatablister problem, he forfeited any right to be called “gritty” or “a gamer” or “gutsy.” So, yeah, I agree w/r/t DeRosa, but wish the Cardinals had picked up Wood too, because that guy could do way more damage to them, especially in the hands of The Genius.Cubs fans complaining again. What’s new? It was YOUR GM who traded DeRosa to make cap room for Milton Bradley. Great move Hendry.
This guy could have clearly helped your team of overpaid boners, but, whine all you want.
Who’s whining, assface?
The Cubs fucking suck. Luckily, so does every other team in the NL Central, and it’s anyones suckfest at this point. Does anyone else but me think this division will go to whatever team is hot the last two weeks in Semptember? Because I do.
Point of clarification: Mark DeRosa participated in 3 times as many Cubs wins as Candy Maldonado.
Maldonado participated in one, DeRosa three.
I looked up Jonas Salk on Baseball Reference and couldn’t find him. When did this Salk guy play for the Cubbies?
@T.J. Brown –
As a point of clarification I indicated Wrigley Field which would make it one each, no (Maldosuckfest in Game 1, 1989 and DeMays in Game 3, 2003)?
Still, point taken, Teej.
@Mike D. –
Er, Game FOUR in 2003.
I was going to write something about how if Cubs fans give DeRosa a standing ovation in a Cardinals uniform, they are truly the dumbest fans on the planet. Thanks for taking care of it for me, Huey.
@Ryan Beariot –
Seriously – too bad that will probably be the most interesting thing about the games the way we’ve been scoring runs.
I was actually at Busch Stadium yesterday (long story, don’t ask) and got to witness DeRosa’s debut – what I found amazing was how absolutely stupid the Cardinal fans are. They gave him a huge applause when he came to the plate (OK, warm welcome to be expected), but after he proceeded to ground out and sprint down to first base at a speed that suggested he may have a bowling ball chained to his leg, he got a STANDING OVATION, for a GROUNDOUT! They followed it up with more cheering when he grounded out the next two times, one of which was a double play (inning ending if I recall), for which I believe he would have gotten a curtain call had he went back to the dugout before trotting out to LF where, (granted) he did make a pretty awesome catch (that would have been completely routine however for anyone with decent speed and would have gotten to the spot earlier).
“He was arguably the team MVP last season, in fact.”
Sure, you can make that argument. Phil Rogers made the argument that Zambrano ought to be waived, too.
Of course accepting such an argument completely dismisses much better arguments such as “Mark DeRosa was much less valuable to the team than: Aramis Ramirez, Ryan Dempster, Carlos Marmol, Geovany Soto, or, perhaps, Kerry Wood”.
Guess where he ranked on the OPS+ list? If you guessed 4th, you’d be correct. How about RC (runs created), which measures that player’s contribution to the amount of runs the team scored? DeRosa was 3rd, behind Lee and ARam. He was just ahead of Soto and Soriano, but he also had 30 more PAs than Soto and 90 more than Soriano.
I haven’t even gotten into the pitching staff.
I guess this is just one long-winded way of saying, “Mark DeRosa was a very useful player last year, but he was no where near the team MVP and arguing for such things is exactly what makes dopes like the average Cubs fan cheer when he comes up in a tie ballgame for the opposing team. Please stop saying and writing things like that.”
I don’t think it’s so much that the Central Division sucks, because the other two divisions are 9 games under .500 vs. the Central. I think it’s just that they are kinda suck in inter-league play and beating each other up.
Great article, miked. The Derosa love here in Chicago is nuts and I can’t add anything to your commentary.
But I think your original comment about the number of playoff victories was correct. Ole Stubbleface was only on the 2007-2009 Cub teams which were swept. Unless I mis-read your story and/ot tj’s comment. Which is very possible.
@Grow Stubs Grow –
Seem like fans everywhere find ways to like players they consider talkative, charming, or good looking. Talent and on-field success probably has little to do with it.
No, Mike:
Candy Maldonado played in Game 2 of the 1989 NLCS (Cubs win, Maldonado made a few outs).
Mark DeRosa was dogshit in Games 1, 3 and 5 for the Braves in the 2003 NLDS (All Cubs’ wins).
Mark DeRosa sat next to Bobby Cox during Game 4 (a Cubs loss).
So, Mark DeRosa has yet to play in a winning Wrigley Field playoff game.
@Oleg –
I was referring to that great bugaboo for stafags such as yourself, Oleg–INTANGIBLES.
Seriously, though, the guy did help the team with his ability to play all over the field. The value that i was placing on him is derived from that more than anything. Point taken, nonetheless.
I hope you know I was not give DeRo a standing ovation, and I totally agree that his so-called intangibles are staggeringly overrated, precisely because he did NOTHING in either NLDS series for us.
I’d still rather have him than Freel and Miles. If he were playing second, with Font and Blanco as backups, there would be more hope in Mudville right now.
Of course, I’d rather have the rotting corpses of Jacko and Billy Mays than Freel and Miles.
BTW: wonder how the guys at killbillymays.com feel today?
I get hating Cubs fans for, well…pretty much everything.
Giving DeRosa a standing ovation in a critical situation is beyond dumb.
But there’s no reason to hate on DeRosa for his time with the Cubs.
You point out his two, agreeably major lapses during the playoffs, but you fail to point out that he also went 7-21 in October the last two years with an OPS of .833 and 1.083 (I’m sure someone else can figure out his combined playoff OPS as a Cub, it lies somewhere between those two numbers.)
He’s one of the very few players that have overachieved while on the Cubs. He was signed to a very reasonable contract, played solid ball the entire time he was here and did it all around the field.
Now that he’s a Cardinal, he obviously deserves to be hated, but directing your hate at him for some gushing quotes and couple playoff mistakes is misdirected.
Agreed. Moreover, I don’t necessarily hate DeRosa at all. In fact, I liked him plenty as a Cub. But, he came and went as most journeyman like himself do. Do I think the Cubs should still have him on the team? Sure. However, there is a line drawn there somewhere between sanity and losing-your-mind-and-cheering-for-an-opposing-player-when-the-game-is-tied-in-the-bottom-of-the-8th lunacy that I doubt I’ll ever cross.
I’m with Pen, which I’m sure he’s psyched about. I hate the Cub fans that love DeRosa. I hate the Cardinals more than I hate DeRosa, and he’s now merely guilty by association.
@PenFoe –
I don’t think you read this part:
Look, I’m not going to pretend that my dismissal of DeRosa is anything other than knee-jerk emotional irrationality, so don’t expect me to apologize for it.
Oh, and your mother’s misdirected, Pen!
I’m not gonna say I wanted to see DeRosa go and and I’m not gonna deny I wanted him back. I fucking hate Aaron Miles, Farney Freel, and Fontenot remains a fill in player in my eyes. I like Blanco, but he’s still a rook and not the long term answer. DeRosa is currently better than any of these guys put together and he led the Cubs in runs scored last year, although considering that the rest of the team can’t drive in runs, that’s probably a moot point. What annoys me is that Hendry gave this guy away for nothing and now he’s been dealt to our division rival, where like it or not, he can help them down the stretch. That’s not good. With Ramirez coming back (hopefully soon) maybe things will turn around for the Cubs, as the division remains close.
However, I for one will not cheer DeRosa in an Indians or a Cardinals jersey.
This is Lou Brock all over again. ; )
This whole thing seems like a misdirection by Hendry so we don’t see how screwed Bobby Scales is getting.
DeRo played great defense at more than one position, he earned his money by playing hard. Everyone in the clubhouse liked him and we traded him for an OVERPAID headcase with severe problems who is a distraction when he does play. I’m not saying he’s stupid because he throws balls into the stands with 2 outs or slides into home with 3 outs. Calling him stupid would be an insult to stupid people. Milton, you have one job that pays very well. Pay Attention!!!
@murcer –
His UZR would suggest he did NOT in fact play great defense. Who are you to suggest he played harder than anyone else? Let me guess: you watch the games, right?
this needed to be said. why do cub fans get off on hating our team so much that an opposing player is cheered in a crucial situation?
but of course, i saw far too many MARK PRIOR jerseys at Comiskey on friday, so i guess expecting rational, supportive behavior from such misanthropes is a little beyond the pale at this point.
At least they weren’t Sammy Sosa jerseys!
” he earned his money by playing hard. ”
Jesus. I can’t stand people who make statements like these. It’s just like calling Aaron Miles or David Eckstein or Augie Ojeda “gritty” or “hard-nosed” etc. etc. etc. It’s just like calling old, washed up hacks “wily veterans.” You have no idea how hard guys play. You have no idea whether they are injured. In fact, insinuating that guys don’t play hard because you watch that games is just asinine.
I think I’m on record here that I only really had two issues with the DeRosa trade:
1) For allegedly “selling high,” Hendry didn’t get jack shit to help the ballclub this year. It looked like the prospects he received were moving parts in a Peavy deal, but now that we need hitting and bullpen help, they look like players that won’t contribute to the betterment of the team for a while.
2) Hendry replaced DeRosa with Aaron Fucking Miles.
I think it sucks that he ended up with St. Louis, because I’d much rather have him playing infield for us than the Triple-A squad that we’ve seen most of the season. But I’m not going to cry over it, nor give him a standing ovation when he shows up at Wrigley in opposing colors (that’s reserved for long-time Cubs, like Wood, Grace, Dawson, etc.)
I have nothing bad or snarky to say about DeRo’s time as a Cub, though. The guy gave us pretty good production at a reasonable price, and was a key contributor to two division titles. I have good memories of him as a Cub, but that’s all they are: nice memories of two decent, but ultimately frustrating seasons.
I’ll have no trouble hating him now, though. One look at that photo of him mugging in that ugly, bathtub-meth-soaked St. Louis uniform has me rooting for him to get a Z. fastball in the ribs during his first Wrigley at-bat next week. Provided Carlos could find that sort of accuracy right now, which I’m not sure he could.
I will greatly enjoy DeRosa hitting into a double play with the game on the line in a Cards uniform.