So, I was driving along I-55 the other day (wait for cheering to die down) when I noticed this SUV in front of me that had, so help me God, the vanity license plate “POO MAN.” This was the best picture I could get without slamming into the median or, worse, into the POO MAN. But that plate got me thinking about the Roundup.

Look, HJE has always operated on the assumption that if you’re a big enough Cubs fan to be reading an obscure blog about the team, we probably don’t need to spoon-feed you news about the team, because you’ve probably already read most of it. For much the same reason, we think it’s incredibly stupid and sort of insulting for blogs to write recaps for you of 162 games of baseball. Why in the world would you want to read a recap of a game you probably just watched written by an old man who has no more access to the team and the interesting stories than you do? You’re smart baseball fans. You know what the hell you just saw. With that said, I’ve been thinking about the Roundup for the past couple of weeks. I was thinking, more specifically, that it doesn’t make much sense to link to the news stories from earlier in the week, because you’ve probably already read them and formed your own opinions about them. So, what I’m going to start trying to do is to give you more links to more blogs instead of mainstream media, more non-Cubs-related stuff, and more funny stuff you might not have seen. With that said, weird tips are appreciated, so feel free to send Roundup tips, hilarious stories, or pictures of your racks HERE. Quite frankly, I’m putting the future quality of the Roundup in YOUR hands. Fair enough? Good.

• The Sun-Times is looking for Chicago’s biggest idiot. If you have “Eamus Catuli” tattooed on your arm, it’s time to take a long hard look at some of the life choices you’ve made.
• Ghost of Paul Noce examines the love/hate relationship some Cubs fans have had with Larry Rothschild. I have to say that I’ve been impressed with the starting rotation this year, but I also have to say that none of you have ever sat next to him on a three-hour plane ride. Holy shit, does he suck at Sudoku. Infuriating.
• The Hawk was kind enough to post a link to Bring Your Champions, They’re Our Meat over on Desipio. It’s terrific, so read this entry on the MLB Draft.
• In his blog, Bruce Miles asks what the Mendoza Line for on-base percentage is. I’m not sure, but I think we should call it the Patterson Line.
• Chuck to Chuck gives us the latest update on the sale of the team.
• When do you crack and start rooting for us to start losing so Jim can blow up the team? Every man has his breaking point. Right?
• Stan Mikita and Denis Savard will be signing copies of the Winter Classic DVD at a couple of suburban Best Buy locations. If you go, try to show a little self-respect and wear a tie. Or at least pants.
• I thought no one hated Chris “His Voice is Like Under Your Saddle There’s a Giant” Berman more than Kermit does, but oh, boy, was I wrong.
• I enjoy the fact that the title of this video is “Brenly, Santo, and Brennaman RELIEVE Radio Days.” (HT: Zach) I would like to relieve myself on that broadcast team. Speaking of relieving oneself, did anyone catch the game the other day when Santo let it slip that Pat Hughes actually uses inning off to TAKE A NAP? Amazingly, he still knows what’s going on in the game better than Ron does, and he sleeps through 11% of it.
• I hate the Red Sox as much as the next guy, but I think this is one of the best signs I’ve ever seen.
• This is either a list of the origins of 10 classic TV show themes or a list of TV shows that Chuck to Chuck thinks will NEVER BE TOPPED.
• Ladies, if you don’t let us take pictures of your mammaries, horrible things could happen. (SFW)
• I would consider getting remarried just so I could have this wedding cake.
• One meme HJE managed to miss in its entirety was the literal translations for music videos. Well, here are some of the best.
• Kermit demanded I steal this line from Poon: “Good news, everyone!” Whatever the hell that means. Nerds.
• Speaking of nerds, I don’t know what the hell a “goth” is, but in my day, we just called these dorks “nerds.”
• All of you folks missing Lost should read Cracked’s article on Six Real Islands Way More Terrifying than the One on Lost. How Snake Island isn’t number one is beyond me.
• The Far Side was the best comic strip ever. Don’t even try to argue it. Instead, go look at some real-life “reenactments” of some of the better strips.
• Finally, a friend of HJE has a clever blog that explores some of the deeper, darker issues of some of your favorite tween television shows. Quite frankly, it’s pretty brilliant. For starters, I recommend the article, “Is Zach Morris a Serial Killer?” But read some of the other stuff while you’re over there, because it’s pretty terrific.

Well, that’s it for me, serial killers. I’m off to get ready for another overtime game. Or is it extra innings? Christ, I have to quit drinking.

-Sweet Uncle Lou